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Started new job but its terrible - scared of resigning but really miserable...

16 replies

Anna2424 · 10/12/2023 10:57

Hi, Please forgive the length of my question - I wanted to paint the full picture...

I have enjoyed a senior, solid career in public relations and communications, having worked for some great global companies and championed some really super campaigns. However, in the past three years a couple of things happened. I took a senior role that required me to fly around the world for events almost every week. It was not sustainable, so I resigned after six months. And, both parents passed in a slow and distressing way from dementia. There was a lot to do practically and emotionally, and it took its toll on my mental health and my career. While organising my parents, I spent two years taking on unremarkable freelance roles and my career took a nose dive.

Emerging from all that, I am recovering well and four months ago got a 'great' job at a sports tech company. I am four months in, overseeing a team of three serving EMEA. Huge job expectations and little resource. It gets worse, since I started, they took away my budget for external PR agency support and made one of my team redundant.

I now have only one strong team member who is brilliant but very unhappy as his talent and achievements have not been recognised or rewarded by the company. I value him immensely but know he is looking for a new job. The other team member has been at the company for two years and is woefully underperforming. The expectation is that I can mentor him up to speed. He needs constant attention and we are redoing all his work. It is exhausting and frustrating and I just don’t have the time. Maybe in a bigger team, these things would be possible.

The company has a wide portfolio of products with five key business units with demanding stakeholders and expectations. It is US driven, which means that if you can’t delivery despite lack of resource, somehow it’s your fault. Added to that my immediate boss, who handed these two reports to me when I joined, is not very 'present'. She is often off sick and for hours of the day we do not know what she is doing or achieving. This is again demoralising and frustrating for us all and I dread going in every day now.

This is not my 'first rodeo' so I know things are going to end badly one way or another. Either my mental health deteriorates or I am told I am not delivering. Here is the rub, I would not think twice about resigning but my recent three years of job roles have been flaky, having resigned from one senior role and then taking freelance positions, filling in here and there.

One might say find another job while in this job, but at the end of each day I am totally frazzled, demoralised and exhausted and the job marketing is not buoyant at present. Plus, I have to work through three months’ notice. If I leave, I am set to lose a lot of dosh (healthcare, bonus, pension) but I have paid off my mortgage and have some savings.

Should I stay and ride it out in the belief things will get better or cut my loses, resign now, work through my notice and trust in myself that I will find something else that makes me happier. I am 53 so I feel worldly wise but I am of course scared of the unknown and worry about being unemployed. Annax

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Startingagainandagain · 10/12/2023 11:32

Can you go back to doing temporary contract for a while while you look for your next permanent role?

If you have good contacts can you just set yourself up as a PR consultant/freelancer?

This company sound awful and it is not going to get any better.

Are you still in your notice period? and if so can you give them less than 3 months notice?

I am the same age as you and also work in marketing/comms. I hate my current role after a year and two months with them. They misrepresented the role and I am not enjoying it. I recently had some time off because my mental health was so bad. I am looking for another role and hoping to leave that job as soon as possible. The only thing that is stopping me from just giving notice is that I do have a mortgage to pay...

If you don't have a mortgage and have some savings, you are in a decent position even if you decide to leave without another job to go to.

In your shoes, I would leave and line up some temping/freelancing.

Anna2424 · 10/12/2023 13:01

It is so bad that we are both in marketing / comms roles where people should be good at communicating and they are not. I am sorry you feel you have to stay. That is the trap that they rely on. Your advice sounds sensible as my mental health and happiness is so critical. We only live for a short time. I do hope your situation improves - and by that I mean you find another role. x

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Darkandstormynite · 10/12/2023 13:13

Leave. Honestly, it's not worth it.

I'm in a similar boat and late 40s.

Company I work for has been bought out by a US company and the corporate culture is awful. I'm not staying. Come spring I'm resigning.

Tbh, I'm using it as a spring board into the next chapter of life. I'm not looking for another corporate role.

I'm taking a year out and will think about what I want to do next.

I'd put money on the fact your boss is interviewing for other roles too.

Anna2424 · 10/12/2023 15:58

Yes I should learn by now that corporate is painful and requires not only your skills and talent but your blood. Yes I think they probably are... their life must be rather unpleasant too. Good luck in your resignation. Ax

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Lemondrizzleicecream · 10/12/2023 16:04

I'm following also.

I started a new role in August and I am finding my new job chaotic and risky. I like my colleagues but the role is bewildering. The whole company is a mess!

The job market here (SW) is hideous.

I'm mainly worried about my CV looking awful and gappy. My previous permanent role was just for a year and I did some freelancing until I found this role which I now hate.

I wasn't good at freelancing. I didn't enjoy it, I felt lonely and I didn't make much money in the end.

The older I get the harder it is to find work. If I quit before securing a new role I expect it'll take a long time to find a job and the gap could be 6 - 12 months

PepperIsHere · 10/12/2023 16:34

Leave, leave leave. Nothing is worth sacrificing your mental health for. Nothing. Resign now and don't look back.

I'm also in comms. At 46, I was made redundant and endured condescending "advice" about "facing the reality of ageism", including from a career coach! I was outraged and immediately scored an excellent role.

Just over a year ago, I took a new role which I was so excited about, a dream job really. Everything about it was amazing except for one hideous colleague. Of course, it wasn't just her because if the leadership had been better, she would have been dealt to, but in any case she caused me a lot of unhappiness.

One day, even though I'd only been in the role for 9 months, I resigned to take a very similar role with slightly more conservative organisation. I shocked everyone including myself 😄 My employer offered all sorts of incentives to stay but as you know, when you're older and experienced you can see when a situation is salvageable or not. 55yrs old and I left.

Oh my gosh, my new role is amazing! Such a great culture, such fantastic work, better money, everything! Not once have I felt that my age is an issue as it is a truly equitable workplace. On the contrary, I am told constantly how my skills and experience are valued.

My point is not to settle. I jumped ship much sooner than I'd planned and it worked out perfectly. There's actually something very empowering about putting your needs before any worry about how it might come across.

Leave your job. You'll find something better and you'll look back on this as a blip.Trust yourself. X

Bireadwhatiread · 10/12/2023 16:41

Surely you detail the problems you are facing and pass this up the chain? For bonus points, offer solutions eg Freelance pr

Anna2424 · 10/12/2023 18:48

Yes nice idea but the company shaved off 10 percent of staff and is cutting all budgets. We have been told there is no more money in the pot in order to keep the investors happy as manpower is the most expensive commodity. There is no manoeuvrability on this point as I have asked several times. It is indeed shortsighted as they are in danger of losing key members of staff. But the CEO is god here and this god wont be listening!

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Anna2424 · 18/12/2023 17:20

Hey just wanted to thank you all for your thoughtful advice. After a terrible weekend of anxiety and taking three days off sick last week, I resigned this morning with no notice. I woke up and saw 83 emails, including an email from the US bosses with a huge impossible list of things to achieve before their morning meeting today like I was a robot, which fried my brain. I couldn't even stand one more day!!!! Thank you everyone, I know in my heart I have done the right thing but feeling nervous. xx

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tribpot · 18/12/2023 17:29

Well done @Anna2424 . I don't think you had any choice, really - this is unsustainably crap. Why no notice, was that their choice to save costs? Not brilliant at this time of year but it means you can start 2024 fresh and unencumbered. I would look for freelance - I think one of the problems as we get older is that we just cannot put up with the bullshittery and being outside the corporate culture is just a lot better. Plus if you go back to freelance no-one's gonna question why the job was so short, although if they do you could allude to cutbacks and not be too specific.

Best of luck for 2024.

Anna2424 · 18/12/2023 17:36

I just had to walk. I couldn't stand another day of it. The workload was overwhelming and the issues within the team so toxic. So I chose to leave without notice. I have enough dosh to last a few months without concern as I have been almost expecting this moment since I started. Freelance is a great answer and I think you have nailed it, as we get older we cant stand the bullshit. Life is too short!! xx

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tribpot · 18/12/2023 19:54

Is your employer likely to allow that? Or is there a risk of being sued for breach of contract?

PepperIsHere · 19/12/2023 08:08

tribpot · 18/12/2023 19:54

Is your employer likely to allow that? Or is there a risk of being sued for breach of contract?

What are they gonna do?

PepperIsHere · 19/12/2023 08:10

@Anna2424 well done for walking. Can you feel my pride radiating from out here in the ether? Serves them right and in any case, you never need to waste another moment's thought in them.

Merry Christmas!!

Roguebludger · 19/12/2023 08:15

The best Christmas present to yourself.

Anna2424 · 19/12/2023 10:25

THANK YOU EVERYONE for you wise words and support. I am sure it will work out for the best! Nothing could be worse. Happy Christmas x

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