Im soooooo fed up of it all!

[Tulvander]

Im sorry. I just want to rant out my frustrations to anyone who is willing to hear my complaints. My gawd! Im so fed up with my life!!! Where to start? First, Im fed up of living in the UK. It's become so awful since Brexit and its showing no signs of improvement. I live in a council house with my 2 year old boy and husband in a lovely village community but despite the decreased rent and two incomes coming in, we are still barely managing! My son's nursery fees are phenomenal but we can't take him out because we will be financially worse off with loans still needing to be paid out. My husband is a chef and is on a good income but Ive been working as a housekeeper for over 8 years and my wage has been so minimal for the amount of work that I do. I can't even do the jobs that I would like to do (estate agent, travel agent, supervising, etc.) which can also pay £2.00 more/hour because these jobs require weekend work and I can't do weekends because my son needs a childminder. Hubby can't even get one weekend off each week because they apparently need chefs to work every weekend. And then I spend nearly 3 hours at home EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY cleaning up and doing even more housekeeping!! I lack sleep because my son doesn't sleep through, is always clingy and so incredibly needy (he has ADHD) that I can't even get 2 minutes of peace in the toilet. Im so tired of having to work day in and out and seeing the expenses increase and increase and increase while my bloody wage just continues to go down and down. And it still goes down despite cutting on some costs! We have no savings because those savings are eaten up by high energy bills, insurance, and fuel. Can't get rid of the car because we rely on it to get to work. IM SO FUCKING FED UP! Nothing in this country is changing despite us making so many changes to stay afloat. I have been looking at moving to countries like Australia (cousin lives there), Germany (half sister lives there), Canada, Norway (love it there), and Singapore (used to live there) but we don't meet the qualifications to even move there due to my lack of work skills and our family's lack of funds. Im so desperately searching a way out of this country to find a better quality of life but no matter how hard I try, we're stuck here and it's going to get worse. The only country where moving wont be an issue is the Philippines as that is where I was born (Im half Filipino) but quality of life there is far worse than here in the UK despite the fact that I know we will be looked after there incredibly well by close friends while we find jobs and adjust (I have no family there). I hate this so much and I hate that so many of us are having to go through something similar through no fault of our own. 😭I WANT TO CRY AND CRY AND CRYYYYY!!

Uk is a shit hole. No law and order. High taxes. Massive unemployment. Govt should be ashamed but they are to busy milking the taxpayer.

I think so many of us have reached this stage where we had enough of profiteering energy companies and this corrupt government and so many people are struggling.

All I can say is you are not alone and hang on in there. The Tory rule will end.

The UK is not a shit hole. Go and live in another country and you’ll soon realise that. Sure it has its problems but so does everywhere.

Seems like money is your biggest problem OP. How long have you worked for your current employer? Have you had a pay rise in that time?

What is in your control to change then?

Change job? Negotiate a payrise? Apply for promotion? Study in the evening to get qualifications? Work a second job in the evening when your DH is home? Increase your hours? Look for a WFH job?

Millions of jobs require no weekend working.

Rather than focusing on what you can't have, look at what you can actually have an effect on.

Are you paying for your childcare using tax free childcare? How near are you to getting Some free hours ? I know if doesn’t make the childcare free but for me the 15 and then later 30 free hours childcare saved me between 300-600 per month once it kicked in.

As you’ve said yourself, quality of life is worse in your country of birth. The UK is by no means perfect but there are many worse places to live.

Germany isn’t the utopia you think it is op, heading for recession, economy detracted worse than the UK. Labour have no sensible solutions so would be no better than the Tories. Most countries have it difficult at the moment.

Are 2 year olds really getting diagnosed with ADHD now? That seems so young.

The current UK employment rate is 3.7% which is very low.
It is not a lawless country.
Get your facts right.

I didn't know you could get an ADHD diagnosis at 2? It takes around 2 years just for the referrals atm.

WHY are you spending 3 hours every day cleaning the house?

Are you utilising the Tax free childcare? that honestly made a huge difference to our bills (which at first were £250 a week)

The weekend working as a Chef is shit, but does he have formal qualifications? If so could he look into teaching culinary skills at the local colleges? My Chef friend moved into this after working for 20 years and will never look back!

Will your child qualify for 30 hours early education soon? When are they 3?

Personally, I actually don't think the quality of life here is all that bad (coming from someone who lives in the NE so I know how awful the jobs market is here but more than made up for in reduced housing prices and rents)

Canada isn't much different (been there, got skint and moved back to the UK and I am loving being home!)

Aw this does sound tough.

Maybe unpick it.

The biggest challenge and opportunity here I'd say is your job and career. What you're doing isn't paying, I don't think you like it and it causes you to need a car. You need to find a new job. Do you have anything like office work experience? How can you get work in the week? Id say try agency admin then get a full admin or sales or customer service job. This will help if you ever want to retrain as an estate agent. It will also make cleaning less frustrating if it isn't your job.

The second biggest challenge is your child's adhd and sleep. I do not have any answers but try to work through what you can improve and how. But it will get a bit easier once he starts school.

The third is maybe lower your standards for cleaning. 3 hours is a lot if your child's at nursery. Are there things you can clean less often? It's not your job at home.

Fourth - is OH cleaning, can he or how can he help more?

I think there is hope and I hope it gets easier.

Honestly? I would look at applying for UC and reducing your hours massively or giving up work. You'd have more time to spend with your little one and to do the house stuff. That's what I would do at least but I understand the struggle. I am a fairly low earner but very lucky in a lot of ways and we get by. It's really hard with little ones because on top of all the financial pressures there is very little respite from the demands of daily life.

Oh and trying to move country is a distraction. You're basically saying you want a massive change in your life.

Yes some countries are better for x, worse for y. But you'll still have a job you don't want and spend money on a car you only need because of your job and spend 3 hours cleaning. Only on top of that you'll have the stress that comes with moving house and culture.