Working and having a new born please share stories!!

[learningliving]

Hello

I need some advice from parents who are possibly in the same position. I am due a new baby in Feb next year super excited but financially I need a new job my husband isn't earning enough to cover everything although universal credit seems to think he does, i have cut costs as much as I can I still need to work.
I didn't have a stable job before being pregnant so no chance of maternity pay from a company anyway I have seen a job a remote job work from home i was thinking i could do this 3 days a week with baby while my toddler is at pre school all day my son was a really good calm baby and slept on cue and was just fine and was in a routine by 6 months it was a great experience I know the second baby is a different soul and will have different needs but I'm hoping our routine encourages the baby to be calm like my son was. Should i apply for this work from home job earn money for the family and be able to look after a small baby while doing the job? or am i looking at it with rose tinted glasses and wont be able to juggle both?? Is there a mum out there doing the same please share help encourage anything i need money to feed my babies.

Thank you in advance.....

You can't look after a baby at the same time as working. You will need nursery or a child minder.

No you’d need a childminder.

thank you for your comment its appreciated. I am looking for parents who are in a similar position to be totally honest but thank you for commenting.

Absolutely not. It would be neglect.
You cannot possibly look after a baby properly and work at the same time.

It’s also prohibited by a lot of employers.

Have you looked into maternity allowance? You should be able to claim this from the government to allow you to take some time off when little one arrives.

So you only want to hear from people that are going to tell You it's ok? I'm not sure why you posted if that's the case.

The thing is you won’t find many, if any, because it’s not allowed, practical or doable. I was self employed when I had my second and it would not have been doable at all to work with her.

You would be sacked for this by my employer I'm afraid. (Not my individual experience, but know someone at work who was)

My son was a clockwork napper into a routine quite early. My daughter was a total chaos napper. There's absolutely no way I could have worked when either of them were tiny.

Most companies now insist that children under a certain age must be in suitable childcare if WFH.

I've had 2 remote working roles. It was written in to my employment contract for both roles that suitable childcare must be in place during my working hours. Both roles working for SMEs, so I'd imagine this is quite common practice.

Mine too!

Don't assume that your baby will be a good sleeper @learningliving. My dd (second baby) didn't sleep for more than 3 hours in a stretch for over 3 years.

What you need to do in your situation is find a job with opposing shifts to your husband.

I sort of did it.
I'm self employed though and can very much choose my own hours and be flexible about it.

I worked during naps (including ones where she was alseep in a sling on me), at evening (between a zillion wake ups 8 and a bit at weekend. I did this from 6-11m, and at the begining I'd pretty much manage a full day albeit in short sections, but that was not achievable by the end.

I didn't do this from birth because my husband took shared parental leave, but as long as the toddler wasn't around, it wouldn't have been too bad in the early days. In my experience it gets harder over time.

What I will say though, is its rubbish quality of life. The things you might do during a nap, chores having some time for yourself, taking a nap yourself get replaced with work, which means it's very hard to keep the house tidy and everyone fed. It also means it's very exhausting, especially if you have a baby that doesn't sleep like I did.

You don't go out to play groups, baby massage, lunch with friends, all of those things that make maternity leave fun, because you're waiting to switch the laptop back on.

I couldn't have managed an employed job with set hours. You're not working 9 till 5, your fitting in an extra hour whilst bouncing and breastfeeding with a baby in a sling at 4:00 a.m etc.

Do it if you have to, if you have flexibility on hours, but if there's a practical alternative I wouldn't.

I have a six month old. Technically I could have done this in the early days as he slept all day and night. Last night he woke up every hour and so far today he’s napped for 2x 30 mins. You just couldn’t work like that, it wouldn’t be fair to baby or your employer

This. Caring for a baby and working at the same time just isn’t realistic. I say that as someone with 2 young children

I once had a manager who whilst pregnant didn't come across the overly maternal type, would guff off regularly during her pregnancy that the baby would be no bother and good as gold (how can you guarantee such a thing) as she'd every intention to return to work within a week of the birth as the business couldn't do without her!

let's say she had the baby and took full maternity leave with her child coming first quite right. Sorry I think you'll find it hard when those emotions kick it x

Depends. If it's "you need to do six hours work today and you can do it whenever you want" - might be doable

If it's " you need to work 9-5 and be on calls at certain times" then no

I recently recruited someone to a wfh role who had assumed she could work with her baby at home. It's just not possible. She was still in a probation period so was given the option of finding childcare or leaving.

She managed to find childcare luckily, but why on earth you think you could focus on work for 7+ hours a day with a baby is ridiculous.

Remember that you might be struggling as well as your baby. A wonderful combination of birth injuries and PND meant that I wouldn’t have been able to work for at least 6 months after DD1 even if she was a textbook baby.