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Work related stress - WWYD?

13 replies

Foreverexhausted1 · 30/11/2023 08:19

Hi everyone,

I don't know what to do about my work situation. I'm currently in a permanent management role but it's a lot of responsibility on 3 days per week. I returned from maternity leave at the start of this year and was placed in this role, I didn't apply for it. I manage a large team and there should be another person doing it as well (at full time) but they left a few months ago and haven't been backfilled so it's currently all on me and I'm exhausted. There are other things being thrown at me too by my director who just doesn't seem to understand what we do in my area. Last week I caught up with him and despite me covering everything on my own, he focused on all the things I haven't done so I came away very demotivated and stressed. To be transparent, we've never got on and I've felt badly treated by him in the past. I don't know if this is clouding my judgment.

Fast forward to this week, a job has come up unexpectedly in a similar role in a different area without the line management responsibility so I've put an application in and have an interview next week. Better to have options, right?

My current boss says she will be gutted to lose me and I think she will try to convince me to stay. I'm not sure anything will change enough to really improve the situation though. I feel invisible a lot of the time and left out of things when they happen on my non-working days. There isn't as much consideration of part time working as I've had in previous roles.

I feel disappointed that it's got to this as my experience does fit my current role well and there are so many things I could do to improve the team etc but I can't work under my director, I find his leadership style very difficult and lacking support. I know the other role would be a better fit for my work life balance, I have two preschool children.

Is this just what happens as a part time worker? I feel bad for potentially leaving my current team. I've worked at my employer for a long time and know I need to remove emotion from this situation.

My husband thinks I should see how the interview goes and move if I'm offered the role. He thinks the part time discrimination is worse than I realise and if I'm not offered the other role then I should go off sick with work related stress. WWYD?

OP posts:
Geneve82 · 30/11/2023 08:25

did the new role come with any additional pay?

Foreverexhausted1 · 30/11/2023 08:31

No it's the same pay level but less responsibility. Or did you mean when I was placed in my current role after maternity? No extra pay here either. My employer works on grades and pay scales so all these roles have been determined to be the same grade

OP posts:
Geneve82 · 30/11/2023 08:50

so you mean to say that you came back from maternity to leave to essentially a huge increase in the scope of your job… but no pay increase?!

Foreverexhausted1 · 30/11/2023 09:33

Basically yes. Our HR policy is that you are returned to a comparable role i.e. the same grade and no less responsibility than you had before

OP posts:
Geneve82 · 30/11/2023 11:47

Can’t believe you haven’t discussed a pay rise given the additional scope of the role you returned to

Geneve82 · 30/11/2023 11:48

you don’t get on with your current director and have been there for years

I’d definitely move

Geneve82 · 30/11/2023 11:49

and within a week of you moving op… your old team would have all but forgotten you. that is the reality

Geneve82 · 30/11/2023 11:51

we’re you part time before maternity leave?

user628468523532453 · 30/11/2023 12:30

My husband thinks I should see how the interview goes and move if I'm offered the role.

I agree with this. So what if they try and persuade you to stay? You don't want to, so don't.

if I'm not offered the other role then I should go off sick with work related stress.

I don't agree with this. What would that achieve?

user628468523532453 · 30/11/2023 12:36

You could approach HR about work related stress risk assessment if you're not being adequately supported in your role. Whether that will achieve anything positive depends on your organisation.

Foreverexhausted1 · 30/11/2023 13:28

@user628468523532453 I don't agree with it either, that's where I differ from my husband

OP posts:
Foreverexhausted1 · 30/11/2023 13:32

@Geneve82 Yes I was part time before maternity leave but managing a tiny team abd a workload that was representative of my hours. I'm not public sector but we're structured in a similar way so there is no negotiating on salary, once you are on a pay scale for a grade that's it. All jobs are assessed by HR and given a grade, no discussion even if responsibilities change

OP posts:
sugarandsweetener · 30/11/2023 16:29

but by the sounds of it you could very easily convey that this is anew role

and if you don’t get or accept the other job, don’t just “go off ib sick”

what will that achieve beyond a couple of weeks off?

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