Not allowed to talk to other staff

[LowLevelGrumpMostly]

We had a restructuring which has combined two teams plus a few randoms under a newly hired VP. I’m the only one in the UK but the rest of my old team do hybrid. The new VP is in a different time zone to everyone and weekly meetings are at 3am so I can’t attend. I haven’t been introduced to some of the people who’ve joined the team and when I asked to be was told no, new manager wants all interactions to go via them.

I’ve also been told I shouldn’t call my team mates and all interactions must be in writing with new boss cc:d or included on team threads. I’m probably the most experienced and knowledgeable in the team so was relied on a lot by other colleagues and new boss seems very out of their depth. It’s getting kind of lonely.

I’m well paid and negotiated a very tight contract, part time, school friendly hours, no travel, very defined role. New boss really doesn’t like my lack of availability in their time zone and keeps trying to palm off parts of their role they don’t seem to fancy or aren’t experienced with. I don’t have the time to take on additional work beyond my core as the job share I worked with left shortly before the restructure. I earn £65k for 3 days and would struggle to negotiate such a good contract in current climate and part time is rare in my sector. The new boss is highly critical and negative towards me but I’m very lonely. A few team mates have reached out via out of company channels saying they aren’t happy, experiencing similar, are too scared to talk to me as told not too.

So do I wait it out and hope execs twig, jump ship, talk to HR (none UK more discipline than wellness vibe). Having worked remotely I don’t have connections other than old team and worked via my previous wonderful boss who retired.

I get why you might have accepted it then when you were being courted and felt valued but would still consider exploring other options when you are now in a position where you are not being valued.

Spot on advice. Thank you - you’ve been a lot of help and been a big help, an objective outside view.

Ok this has been a really useful post for me and what pokes my tender points. I came from a low paid single parent family, 2 part time jobs plus a full time one and a lodger to have 1 week in Devon in a b&b and swimming and drama lessons. Not fair or based on work or ability.

I don’t need to work for us to survive, my income means a nicer car, we are the folks who can do half term at centre parks. If someone wants £70 trainers not Asda ones it just happens. Someone a bit fed up , takeout night. Plus means we are saving a bit for pensions as not public sector it’s not a great prediction given my supposed fiscal strategy skills. If I gave it up I’d struggle with not contributing and being the waste of space.

My head says take the money and have done a lot of min wage jobs to get through uni but when it’s personal criticism from someone you don’t like who seems focused on self progression and you literally don’t talk to anyone else - it’s so hard to let head rule. It feels exactly like school bullying and manipulation.

The past perfect situation has gone I have to accept this. I’m circling in on needing to leave something on record that something is off whilst quietly looking elsewhere.

Some very helpful practical ideas to think about. Thank you 🙏

Is there really no other time than 3 am your time that you could meet?

Think west coast USA trying to loop In India then Singapore then uk as aftermath 😬

Can you suggest recording the team meetings so you can stay in the loop?

I'd also be scheduling a weekly one on one with the new manager and summarising what you discuss/agree in that.

How long have you been in this job op?

Been in the job nearly 5 years

That's good, you have more security.

If you're concerned re visibility, I would try to attend the early morning meetings, will also mean you can interact with colleagues.

(And join a union in case things get worse.)

Based on what you said the vp will leave eventually but you might have to be patient for a year or two

I'm really curious now - what is your job? what field?

It would be ideal for me - 3 days, good pay, no colleagues to talk to ))

Refactoring applications running in private datacenters and sizing the cloud infrastructure they will move to - to be cost effective. People buy a big server for their own datacenter and use 10% but in cloud you pay as you use so only want to buy the minimum capacity you can get away with but need to reserve enough if you can predict an increased capacity needs. It’s basically fancy excel and having seen a lot of similar. It’s what contestants on the krypton factor called a systems analyst. How big a computer do I need.

ah I see, something in IT. I thought so))

You should count your lucky stars. I would be so happy to just do my job and forget I actually HAVE colleagues, pure heaven! )))

Yes but OP has said it's not working for her. 🙄 People are different. People don't have to think themselves lucky just because they have something they don't want that someone else wants.

OP if your job isn't mission critical for your family I'd look for something in your field that actually makes you feel happy and valued even if it meant a pay cut. I really can't recommend it enough. And if you managed to negotiate PT hours and reasonable salary once, think what you can do now you've got 5 years more experience. I'd really start looking for something else.
I say this as someone who took a full time job and negotiated it down to PT at the top end of the company's offered salary range.

If you can't talk to anyone other than your manager, surely this will start to impact your mental health and those of your colleagues?

I am really shocked and saddened by the above responses. I'm so sorry OP, I don't have any great advice, hopefully skilled HR and Employment lawyers will see this thread, but I'd sit tight and see what happens, gently pushing back on any unreasonable things he asks in the meantime.

Actually it’s been really useful as I’ve generally been quite privileged to not be in a situation where I’ve ever had to choose to put up with a bad situation to ensure kids get fed or rent paid. Remembering that I have options and why had been useful.

I’m the type of person who’d be happiest working mostly in an office within 20 min of home. But that doesn’t exist for my grade where it’s remote or an expensive capital city. So I live in a field - my human contact now is a couple of regular dog walker waves, a malevolent boss and asking who wants what for tea (often via WhatsApp 🙄).

I’ve generally been able to choose nice bosses and to enter teams I like. Interesting thing is everyone has assumed new boss is male, she’s not and part of me wonders if that’s an issue. She seems uncomfortable with other women.

I asked for this and was agreed but in 5 months have had two recordings, one was actually not a team meeting but a subset group and insightful I think she clicked on the wrong month as a random meeting a month previous, I was a bit surprised how my old team were being talked to or at is a better description. So I do know it’s a wider issue. My dilemma is to sit it out, step up and highlight as I have more job protection and options than most in other geographies…

yes I have a one on one, I overlap with everyone in teams working hours. The problem is new boss doesn’t overlap with large numbers of teams so the main team meetings are out of hours for them, her hours but daft for me

Totally get that view, but I had lovely team mates who lifted me us. Now my only contact is a nasty negative boss. Having be able to be able to move fast from negative weird teams totally get dialling down negative stuff it great.

Can relate to this, in a very different situation (tiny company where everyone else has left and it's now just me and the boss) but totally get how isolating it can be to just work with one boss that you don't like.

Am not sure what to suggest - do you think your boss is deliberately isolating you or just a not very good micromanager? What would happen if you got in touch with team members just to introduce yourself or for a 'catchup', not related to specific work?

Tbh given you don't need the job, I'd be tempted to poke the bear.

I'd email her line manager

"Please can you advise whether a company wide directive has been established which stops all internal comms between team members on the same levels. My team have been instructed to channel 100% of our communications via our line manager, and whilst I appreciate she needs keeping in the loop re timescales and projects, the resulting effect is that no team member can go directly to a colleague for advice, support or even just a general check in. This new set up is something I am taking time to adjust to, and I need to know whether it is a new initiative across the business or something that has been formulated for only my team, in order that I can adjust to the new regime"

Not even allowed to say "oy, Sandra, which budget does the paper come out of again?" Without going via management is not a situation I'd want to quietly accept.