Don't know how to handle a situation

[hardwork86]

I started a new job 4 month ago in a small team.

There is my boss who is head of department, I'm the advisor and then there is a lady who does admin.

The admin lady started off very nice to me. Made a point of telling me our boss is her work hunny she is his PA and all that toxic bullshit. She also said she can't be managed.

Now I can delegate to her but I don't because I've asked her to complete things and she doesn't. So I told my boss but he literally has no back bone.

He will let her tell him what to do. But she will not manage me.
The minute I don't agree with her or don't do as she says she goes in a mood with me. Currently sat in office and it's so awkward lol.

She tries to tell me how to do things and I could understand if she's helping but if I say I'm going to do it this way she gets moody.

Please how do I handle this without losing my head lol. She always says her husband earns enough she doesn't need to work.

I'm a single mum who is extremely career driven who needs to work and loves to work. My pay is substantially more than hers. But she is constantly bring up she does stuff above her pay grade.

I feel if I get in to a disagreement with her and she walks because she doesn't need to work I will look like the bad guy.

How do I handle this. 😂

I would have as little to do with her as possible. Be polite but distant. Don't get involved in personal conversations with her. It doesn't matter that she doesn't have to work financially or that you are a single parent. There's no need to argue with her. She's not your boss, and you aren't hers. If her refusing to do any work that you pass onto her affects you, let your boss know and deal with it.

From her perspective, she doesn't want you to dump all your dross/boring work onto her when there's nothing in it for her (can't say I blame her).

what sorts of things would you delegate to her? Anything meaningful, challenging or interesting - or is that the stuff you want to do yourself. Not saying that's wrong, but I don't think it sounds like you've thought about it from her side of the desk,

You haven't said what you'd intended to delegate to her, but if you aren't her line manager and aren't tasked with management responsibilities for her eg evaluating performance, signing off holiday etc, then all you can do is have a cordial arms length interaction with her if you need access to time in the boss' calendar through her.