Line managing a very patronising but capable person

[JeeezeLouise]

I am so tired of it. It's making me want to leave my job.

This person is bright. They are also extremely opinionated, critical of everyone and everything, impatient, like a dog with a bone about most things.

I try to be as supportive, responsive, accommodating, positive as possible and praise all their good work.

But I'm constantly feeling like my efforts are just thrown back at me.

I'm senior in age, role and experience to this person.
I am all for people being ambitious, but not at the expense of exhausting everyone else in the team around them.

I just need a rant I guess. If anyone has been in a similar position was a line manager, any tips as to how to deal with this would be greatly appreciated.

It's a lack of self awareness imo

Doesn't it bother you to be a pain in the arse?
I would be mortified if I thought my colleagues thought I was this annoying.

They are very bright and some of their ideas are spot on and I have gone with them.
I was initially delighted go have someone with so much energy join the team.
I'm not intimidated by them. I just find their constant "feedback" / criticism of everything at every level exhausting.
I want to reign them in but avoid causing upset. Because I'm a thoughtful manager.
I'm also a human being and getting irritated by this person's behaviour.

In our work job capability is not just assessed on what you do but how you do it. Sounds like this person should be failing his or her objectives on the basis of excellent work done with a terrible attitude.... Maybe a conversation along those lines with positive examples of how they could behave?

This is so draining…..

I was the marketing director for a very large food brand. When I joined the business (based on my experience) I had one member of the team who was a very talented marketer but thought he should have my role (he’d applied and hadn’t got it) and was disruptive, opinionated and generally difficult to be around. He had just come off performance management.

My management style is open & direct. My advice would be don’t take any prisoners and stop and moaning from this person immediately (it’s absolutely draining when you have to listen to it). If you can - organise some 360 feedback for the person from colleagues & peers (who probably feel the same as you do. Put an action plan in place to address any ‘development’ areas.

In this particular case - the person eventually left the business and on his exit interview told HR that he was leaving to work with people of his calibre! Good luck to that particular business.

Good luck 🤞