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Original poster

Interview.. tell me about yourself

45 replies

caggas · 21/11/2023 14:55

Just did a practice interview with my husband and in the "tell us about yourself" I introduced myself, spoke about how long I've worked in this area, how long I've worked in this specific company and what excited me about the job / how I met the person spec.

My husband is saying I've told him nothing about myself as a person and that's what he asked, not about my work history.

I've always answered this question like this, is that wrong?!

OP posts:
Teatrayderby · 21/11/2023 14:58

Well your husband is a man so he is coming from this as someone who will not be stereotyped but celebrated. "Well I'm 35, got 2 kids and I like going to the gym" is very different coming from a woman than a man.

Woman immediately raised alarm bells that number 3 is on the way, all she talks about is DC and she will want to leave early despite being a neglectful mother (gym). Man gets raised on a pedestal as epitomy of modern man in his prime.

Shockinghandwriting · 21/11/2023 15:04

It's a silly vague question and I think you answered it well. Perhaps you could add a bit about your interests for a personal touch/ personal achievements of it comes up again but I agree that it's easy for personal information to be used against women much more than men, for inferences to be made about your home life, commitment or whatever that would never affect a man negatively.

Lamelie · 21/11/2023 15:05

Is your husband an expert? Does he interview? Because your answer is better.

flipent · 21/11/2023 15:06

Nothing wrong with giving a brief work history, also nothing wrong with adding a personal element if you're comfortable doing so.
That question has very little to do with the answer and is far more about giving you the opportunity to relax into the interview with something you can prepare in advance.
The only thing you shouldn't do, is stumble over it and look surprised by the question!

Thighdentitycrisis · 21/11/2023 15:11

I would think about my personal qualities e.g. I’m extroverted, diligent, good in a crisis, friendly, compassionate, etc
(not saying I’m any of the above!)

Original poster
caggas · 21/11/2023 15:13

I did ask him what I should say and his answer was that you're a mum. I had to point out that's not always a good thing in their eyes! He has hired people so has done interviews whereas I've only attended so was wondering if I need to adjust! I'll stick with what I've got, thanks.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 21/11/2023 15:14

Teatrayderby · 21/11/2023 14:58

Well your husband is a man so he is coming from this as someone who will not be stereotyped but celebrated. "Well I'm 35, got 2 kids and I like going to the gym" is very different coming from a woman than a man.

Woman immediately raised alarm bells that number 3 is on the way, all she talks about is DC and she will want to leave early despite being a neglectful mother (gym). Man gets raised on a pedestal as epitomy of modern man in his prime.

This. Read people's bios at your work (if you have them). VERY different based on sex.

It's the same as a single dad. He's a saint if he's male and a devil if she's female.

"Interesting hobby, travel, likes hiking and cooking blah blah work." Not the male "I have three kids who I love but becasue I'm a man will still be able to work as though they don't exist"

sixteenfurryfeet · 21/11/2023 15:15

caggas · 21/11/2023 15:13

I did ask him what I should say and his answer was that you're a mum. I had to point out that's not always a good thing in their eyes! He has hired people so has done interviews whereas I've only attended so was wondering if I need to adjust! I'll stick with what I've got, thanks.

Oh lol - really?! What a twit, he has no idea.

PinkRoses1245 · 21/11/2023 15:15

I’ve never been asked that (I’ve done heaps of interviews). It’s not good practice to ask a question like that. They don’t want to know about your personal life. They should ask ‘why are you interested in this job’ or ‘tell us how your experience makes you suitable for this role’.

PinkRoses1245 · 21/11/2023 15:16

Definitely do not say you’re a mum! What a stupid suggestion. Of course you are and that’s great, but you are interviewing for a job.

Nannyfannybanny · 21/11/2023 15:17

I had this in my last job interview. The had all my employment experience and wanted to know me the person! Hobbies, interests, family etc.

RaininSummer · 21/11/2023 15:18

Definitely don't lead with the fact that you are a mum.

sixteenfurryfeet · 21/11/2023 15:20

Do another role play, and this time you be the interviewer who asks him that question. See what he comes up with, and if he mentions he's a dad, start asking him awkward questions about how old they are, is he likely to want more children and take paternal leave in the future, who looks after them during the school holidays and when they're sick etc etc etc. The penny might drop.

If he doesn't mention he's a dad, let him finish, and then ask him why he didn't mention it when he told you that you should have done.

Mummymummy89 · 21/11/2023 15:21

Do not say you're a mum.

It's actually against acas guidance for them to ask if you're a mum or considering children, at a job interview. So for them to ask that question and hope to find out you're a mum, they'd be almost breaking the law (I know acas isn't the law).

Your answer sounds fab.

If you want to add a personal note, talk about the things you love/enjoy most about the job. Share an anecdote about something nice that happened in the job.

ArticWillow · 21/11/2023 15:21

In answer to this question, I once told them that I had a dog and was into K9 sports. (Obedience & Agility)
The reaction was: oh, you have a pet, that's really bad...

I was only 20 something then, but to this day never mention anything about myself that could be seen as having an actual life outside working hours and interpreted as not enough energy/ time for a job.

Cheepcheepcheep · 21/11/2023 15:22

He has no idea.

Mummymummy89 · 21/11/2023 15:23

There shouldn't be any need to talk about your non-work life at a job interview. If they ask specific questions about your life outside work, then that's a company with blurred boundaries

bananablues · 21/11/2023 15:28

do not give away anything about family, personal life. Try and focus on your character traits (which would be good fit the role), current role & what you like about it and your hopes & aspirations for the future.

Neitheronethingnortheother · 21/11/2023 15:33

You answer sounds good (I do a lot of interviews), he clearly has his eyes and ears shut to anything that happens to women in business

I would also always be suspicious of a company asking any questions in such a way that feel like they are leading you to saying whether you have children or not.

I usually interview in such a way that I have absolutely no idea at the end whether someone has kids or not unless they have gone out of their way to tell me. The only exception to that is people returning to work after a career break due to having children as this will inevitably come up as an explanation of their career break.

Nynaeva · 21/11/2023 15:36

I've always been told this question is actually HR put you at ease speak for, tell me why you want the job/what's special about you. They don't really want to know how many kids you've got or that you enjoy bell ringing in your spare time. They don't care and as others have experienced it could actually turn the interviewers off right at the start. I'm guessing your husband's not had to do many interviews in his time...

titchy · 21/11/2023 15:41

Nynaeva · 21/11/2023 15:36

I've always been told this question is actually HR put you at ease speak for, tell me why you want the job/what's special about you. They don't really want to know how many kids you've got or that you enjoy bell ringing in your spare time. They don't care and as others have experienced it could actually turn the interviewers off right at the start. I'm guessing your husband's not had to do many interviews in his time...

That's the exact reason it's always my first question.

Frankly I don't give a monkeys if you're into jogging and world cinema, I want to know if you can do the job.

titchy · 21/11/2023 15:41

Maybe he doesn't want you to get the job....

Whataretheodds · 21/11/2023 15:44

If you want to add a personal note, talk about the things you love/enjoy most about the job. Share an anecdote about something nice that happened in the job.

This see if you can bring in what makes you tick/what gets you out of bed in the morning/always been fascinated by <eg what makes people tick and how I as a leader can help them to be the best version of themselves/ building a culture of innovation/more sustainable strategies for housebuilding>

Proudest day at work is another nice anecdote.

At a pinch you could include something non-work like <I've always been interested in brutalised art and architecture and recently came back from X> or <I play netball once a week - I find team sports is my favourite way to unwind and reset> but I totally agree don't be forced into sharing your biography.

Singleandproud · 21/11/2023 15:44

I would give some personal work background and some personal information that would relate to employability skills/ the job role like I provide first aid cover for a local rugby club (no mention it's for my Dad's team) that I like walking / paddle boarding /whatever in the local area as I work in an area of environment management/maintenance and can be outdoorsy so showing I don't mind poor weather. I normally mention I did an OU degree as it often ends up as a talking point.

Charlie2121 · 21/11/2023 15:53

I've interviewed lots of people over the years. It is generally a boring task however this presents the interviewee with an opportunity.

In general if you are being interviewed for a job you are likely to have relevant experience so no need to discuss that more than is necessary.

What most interviewers want is something a bit different and interesting. People recruit people they like and find interesting provided they have the relevant skills and/or experience.

Have a couple of offbeat stories or experiences you can refer to. If you lived with a colony of penguins for 3 months in Antarctica or maybe canoed the length of the Nile, I can assure you that the interviewer will be far more interested and engaged with that than they will be knowing how you hit your KPI's in your last role.

These are of course fairly extreme examples but they are both ones that I have come across and in both cases I hired the individuals.