How to appear a bit less stupid

[Themumofone]

After wanting to change up my working pattern, I have found myself in a new role elsewhere in the organisation and accidentally promoted. The thing is, I feel so out of my depth. I have a brand new manager who didn't have anything to do with my appointment and seems sort of disappointed whenever I speak which is probably not helped by my naturally laid back and self depreciating manner. While I want to ask if anyone has experience dealing with imposter syndrome, I feel it's more appropriate to ask how to deal with being an actual imposter?

Right. Stop putting yourself down for starters. It’s annoying and disrespectful of the people who chose to promote you. They clearly believe that you can do the job.

I'd suggest watching the TV series 'The IT Crowd' 😂

seems sort of disappointed whenever I speak

That sounds like something that's happening in your head.

You didn’t get there by accident. Believe in yourself.
and big yourself up.
then go round asking everyone what success would look like to them for your role- and use it to help you map out what you need to do.

I knew it would sound like it was all in my head. If I was reading it, I'd probably expect the same. Its just hard not to believe these thoughts because of the weird circumstances in which I've found myself here.

I spoke self-deprecatingly recently when joining the team after training, after a meeting or two I realised my boss took my remarks literally. It's worth selling yourself a bit, to balance things again. Act a bit like you're on interview and try to impress. You can be more yourself once you've had a few successes.

I have recently retired after a long professional career and along the way I have met countless incredibly talented but self deprecating women who were never secure in their own worth. I also encountered many many more talentless (generally but not always) men who never let lack of confidence get in their way and found themselves promoted way beyond their natural level.
It's time we stopped apologising for ourselves. Confidence is all an act. You can do it too.

I'm feeling out of my depth at the moment (big promotion) and however much I know it is partly imposter syndrome I have decided there is stuff I can do about it. So

• suggest and ask for appropriate training courses
• set my own training programme - i've drawn up a list of things I want to read up on /get to grips with and set aside some time each week(2 hours while a child is at a hobby at the weekends)

I also think you have to save the self deprecation for people who ",get it". My team are all a bit like that and I can chuckle at it /understand it, but I agree with you that some people don't respond well to it . (Personally I far prefer it to excessive confidence which I find alarming as it's likely to lead people to take excessive risks which isn't something I need in our field)

What are you doing to increase your knowledge so that you can provide more informed responses?

I find that admitting what you don't know and making a plan sounds a lot better than fluffing around a topic or just saying I don't know.

Eg

How much will this new tech cost

A) I don't know, sorry
B) well tech in general is quite expensive right now, prices fluctuate, a ballpark figure might be something like xx but it could be anything up to xx
C) I don't have the exact figures to hand but will be setting up calls with 3 different supplies to get quotes and can get a figure to you by end of week.

Be clear, concise and confident in what you say.

There are four stages of competency (apparently.

1. Unconscious incompetency.
2. Conscious incompetence.
3. Conscious competency.
4. Unconscious competency.

They are stages we go through in roles. You are stage 2. That's good. It takes about 6, months to be effective in a new role. Take advantage of this. Ask lots of questions. Get people to explain - this can help you to understand who really knows their role and who is blagging.

Sometimes in work you have to be an actor and not let your true personality show.

When you say that you are naturally laid back. What do you mean? Are your professional priorities matching the work place? Self deprecating can come across as excuses or could not be bothered to improve so be wary.

I suggest you listen to the Caroline Flanagan podcasts (the episodes about Imposter Syndrome).

It's expected that you'll be out of your depth at the start. I'd acknowledge it in a factual way, ask questions and request guidance. That's not the same as putting yourself down.