Raised voice in meeting. What next?

[Myfirstsecondthird]

I was in a meeting today as part of my volunteer role within the organisation (think I'm part of green team and the meeting was with the head of sustainability or I'm part of women's committee and meeting was with the head of diversity). I had not met the Head of x before. During this meeting the head of x raised their voice at me and the others within the committee and essentially shut down what we were saying. How would you proceed bar to step down from the committee? It was really unprofessional and goes against our company values.

I would email them and explain that you don’t appreciate being shouted at by anyone, regardless of their position in the company, and you hope there isn’t a repeat of that behaviour.

I would start by liaising with the others who were shut down. Are your reactions similar?
Your greatest power will be in a joint reaction.

Definitely a similar reaction by others involved. It is a bit about thinking what can we do next (apart from just grumbling between us)

Is there a reason why you say 'their' not her or his?

Trying to not include issues around whether they were a man or woman into the discussion. It was a man however (all the rest were women)

It should be irrelevant, shouldn't it, but I got the impression that it would be a man. It could be because you are women, or because you are volunteers, and possibly because of ageism, or a combination of things.

Could you put in a collective statement to HR?

That’s good to hear, OP.

In no way excusing the behaviour, are you aware of any offsetting circumstances such as a bereavement, marital problems, work problems etc, that could have left this person unable to act professionally? Do you usually feel comfortable with them?

If one or both of these answers is positive, I think approaching them as a group is a good idea. Perhaps email is the only way you (all) feel able to state your concerns in a calm and objective manner. That’s fine.

But if you can muster the grace to approach them with some genuine curiosity about what went wrong you might get a better result. By that I mean ideally a genuine apology and certainly an explanation that does not attempt to shift any blame to you. Definitely not any ‘I’m sorry you were offended’ nonsense. If the results are not satisfactory you can think about going to their line manager.

If this is just a worsening of a bad attitude towards you (all) things are different. Again I think you will get a better result in person, but I would recommend approaching this person’s line manager first. Again, calm professionalism is important so if you have concerns about that a cogent email is preferable.

Charities run on their volunteers so I very much hope your concerns will be taken seriously.

You need to talk to the others at the meeting and agree on a description of what happened.

Since you're talking about teams within an organisation, I'm guessing your company is big enough to have a professional HR office.

The women who were at the meeting need to present a united report to HR detailing the unprofessional behaviour and the effect it had on progress in the meeting.

Yes, I agree with @mathanxiety that you can replace line manager by HR if you go that route. But if there has been a good relationship til now and/or there are offsetting circs, I would try starting, as a group, with an actual adult conversation.

Honestly if it was me I would have objected at the time in a firm but respectful way. If not then it’s not something I would pursue after the event, I’d just chalk it up to experience. If you do want to pursue it though, I suggest doing so directly and in private. Resist the temptation to group together for some collective handwringing, it’s sheepish.

What happened in the lead-up? It's very unusual for people to suddenly start shouting in meetings.

Thanks for your feedback. It was the first time I met him...usually soeak with the 'x' manager not had of. I would also really have loved to speak up in the moment (personally what I wanted to do in that moment is either leave the teams call or cry...what I did to my shame is shut up). Will have a think.

What did they raise their voice for though? Was something not complete? Was there misinformation? Why where they raising their voice in the first place ?

It does not excuse it but context helps

They raised their voice as we were discussing an activity that was being done in partnership but we werent getting the information we need (we were not getting all the information we felt we needed... they felt differently clearly that we don't need that information). The main reason he shouted i can see is that we challenged (politely... this was within the first 5minutes) why we were not getting this info and that he has a busy day and doesnt want to be discussing access to the information

If you are a volunteer, then I would write an email to your immediate supervisor or the chair of your part of the committee, and say that you will not tolerate being shouted at like that during a meeting, and if it happens again you will withdraw your voluntary services immediately.

I have to agree with this. Not that I think it's ok to shout at people in meetings, but I think it's on you to respond for yourself either at the time or directly afterwards rather than rally up some kind of group effort.

As hardly any time has elapsed, I must disagree with PPs who say you have missed your moment OP. But their larger point that you should act quickly so your action will seem natural is a good one.

I also think it is important for those of you affected to stick together, especially as the situation has a gender divide. Otherwise it is too easy for the man to dismiss one woman (or one woman at a time) as a snowflake.

If you haven’t got a background of cordial email with this guy and don’t know of extenuating circs, I don’t think it much matters whether you go to him directly or go elsewhere. He sounds like a bully.

Best wishes

Thank you all for your comments. They have been really useful in helping me get a way forward (raised it with senior colleagues). Will see how things progress and if nothing happens i will step down from this position.