Change in work status and Mat leave

[Redvelo21]

I’ve been seconded into a role since January.
i was advised in September that they are looking to make my role permanent at the end of it in December.
I asked for an update last week and was told that they are extending it 1 month while they go through the detail so that takes me into January.
i found out I am 5 weeks pregnant, I have worked hard to get this secondment and was really happy to be going perm but now I’m scared to tell them I am pregnant - I don’t have to tell them for another 20 weeks. However the reason I am been made perm is for my knowledge in 1 particular thing which is actually becoming a project towards middle of 2024.
so if I go on Mat leave in July I will miss the project and feel I lose my ‘speciality’ if that makes sense.
I have been debating whether to not continue the pregnancy and instead focus on work for another year and try again.
however I do want a second baby and I am getting on in years (40)

I feel if I tell them now they could end my secondment at the end of jan and I go back to old role.
if I decide to continue the pregnancy and tell them in March when I legally have to they might feel I have deceived them in obtaining the role.

im really stuck on what to do.

so my question is - if I was made perm without disclosing pregnancy could they take back the role?
should I be upfront and tell them before my secondment ends?

I defo wouldn’t even consider ending your pregnancy at 40 if you want another baby.

If you’ve been seconded presumably you are a member of the firm for longer than January? Are you a permanent employee or have always been a consultant? But confused whether it’s just your role being made perm or your work status.

I think you either:

• be upfront and honest about it, allow them to plan next steps for the project (best for long term relationship but may mean you get screwed over)
• wait as long as you can before telling them and not until you are perm (may screw over project but ensures your interests are met)

5 weeks is early. And projects can change or go wrong or get cancelled. The future isn't written. Don't do anything.

So I think that this is not an unusual feeling in early pregnancy when your employment status is changing/temporary/etc.

i had a similar situation - but outing to go into all details but stays changed significantly within same company at very early stages of pregnancy. I felt as you do now and I agonised a lot. Initially I did feel perhaps I should terminate, and I even booked an appointment when I was around week5, but decided against it. Best decision I ever made - not because I disagree with abortion but because I truly wanted that pregnancy and I listened to my heart rather than the pervading narratives of patriarchal capitalism.

Ultimately, I waited to disclose until 20 weeks.
i was met with some hostility by HR who intimated that I had misled them. However these types of comments are illegal. The friends I shared this with reminded me of this, and helped me see the sexism I was internalising by allowing HR to shame me. when I returned from Nat leave I did ultimately quit in part because of HR’s comments around my pregnancy.

You aren’t misleading anyone, pregnancy is not always planned, but moreover fertility is no one’s business. Businesses take on risk when they employ anyone, make or female. They know the score.

congratulations on your pregnancy! Please make the right decision for you not the one that you feel will inconvenience others the least. It’s your life, live the one you want!

finally - someone advised me during my similar situation “if men got pregnant do you think they would be worried about inconveniencing the firm? Or would they be maximising their advantage?” - that helped me so much!

You definitely should not put work ahead of your baby if you want to have the baby.

They can't take back your role and if they treated you unfavourably as a result of you not telling them until after Jan, then they would be discriminating against you, in which case they leave themselves in a very precarious position and wide open for a claim.

My advice - don't tell them yet, wait for your role to be made permanent and then tell them. If you're only 5 weeks now, you won't be 12 weeks until roughly the end of Dec anyway would you? In which case you wouldn't be telling them before that anyway. It shouldn't happen but some companies still think they can get away with discriminating against pregnant women. A man wouldn't think twice about putting himself first or worrying about upsetting the company! I'd probably just keep your own records of any conversations, comments, etc., just in case but you'd like to think that won't be necessary and your employer will be supportive.

PP experiences with HR really annoy me as HR professionals should know better and give the rest of us a bad name! We're not all like that :) best of luck with both the role and your pregnancy!

Personally I wouldn't tell them early (as in not before 12 week scan and quite possibly longer) unless there's some health and safety reason you need to like working in a dangerous environment, or if the pregnancy noticeably impacts your ability to do your job or causes sick leave. I think especially at older ages it's absolutely reasonable to not treat a pregnancy as a certain until you have scan results showing all is ok, it does not make any sense to potentially jeopardise your career progression at this stage of pregnancy. Also if they are making the role permanent rather than extending the term then it sounds like it can't just be all about one short term project. All best wishes for the pregnancy and the permanent contract.

So many typos from me! Apologies!

Yes I’ve worked for the company more than a decade.
I have a 2 year old and felt quite lucky to return from Mat leave into a higher paid role.
we had plans for a second baby in 2 years when first will be starting school. This pregnancy is unplanned.

i had a miscarriage before my first baby at 8 weeks.
I didn’t tell work about my second pregnancy until 20 weeks as I didn’t want to jinx anything.
my manager knows about my prev miscarriage so she would be sensitive to my reasons for not disclosing.

i do have a couple more reasons for not continuing this pregnancy mainly around childcare and money.

but I do also worry that this might be my last chance and I know It’s not a given I could get pregnant again.

im going to take some screen shots of the messages saying they are extending my secondment and then making me perm.
and then if I continue or the pregnancy gets to 12 weeks i will disclose and be on the extended period. Then if they go back on the perm offer I have some evidence to challenge it.

there is a history of projects not starting as planned and going on for much longer than planned so I know I shouldn’t plan my future children around it.