Any mums out there working part-time in a semi-career type job?

[pinkfongg]

Basically, I always read of mums on here earnings 50k plus in high flying careers, OR SAHMs who are looking to stay out for a while - I see very little of mums like me, or at least maybe we're not posting about it.

I earn 30k in an office job, pro-rata'd to 3 days a week.
My job is in accounts so I did a qualification after uni to get into this area, so can say it's a kind of career!? I'm not an accountant by any means yet so I wouldn't really say it's a career, more of a decent job!?

Not sure I want to progress in my career yet, I'm quite happy bobbing along but at the same time I feel like I'm not pushing ahead much..

Anyone else in this boat? Feeling a bit stuck in the middle and not sure if it's quite what you want but maybe what you need right now?

I'll also add that I'm quite happy on my days off with the kids, just getting bits done, taking it a bit easier..

it’s absolutely fine to want to opt out of hustle culture and to bob along

i work in a digital comms strategy role for a small company, I’m also doing a lot of the actual practical content creation too.

I am only ‘working’ 2 days a week but need to be ’on’ and responsive if anything kicks off and check posts have gone out

it’s very flexible and most unplanned events are in the evening (diff time zone) when my DH has the toddlers, so it works fine

have I not had anything so flexible i’d be very happy not be working at all

I left a completely different career where I was approaching the highest tier of leadership because I literally cba working full time (I know this is a privileged position to be in) and there was no way it could let up for my young family

I work 3 days a week in a career-type job and have a child in nursery. It is hard when all your colleagues are FT and forget that you can't do as much as them in a week, and I often feel a bit left out. It won't be forever though and it is a way of keeping my foot in the door.

At my last performance review it transpired that I was being given "big tasks" because they didn't want me to feel side-lined even though I was drowning, so we have now come to a lovely arrangement where I help my colleagues out with the ad-hoc nitty-gritty attention-to-detail things so they have more capacity. I have the same knowledge and skills, and am completely self sufficient so they get a job well done and I am no longer a nervous wreck. Everyone wins!

I forgot to say, of course it is acceptable not to push ahead. If you left your current job you may struggle to get back in the game when your children are older. PT is a good solution.

I'm in the same situation OP, in a graduate level office job 3 days a week pro-rated from 35k. I'm in a public sector environment where everyone is very career driven and we have monthly development meetings. It does bother me knowing I'm not really progressing, even though it's because I don't want to, mainly because there's a lot of pressure to keep moving. I like my job but I don't really like the career path, I can't see myself going any higher, even when my children are older. It's very flexible and really suits having children. I never miss anything at their schools, and I'm home when they get in most days. I don't work a minute over my 21 hours and I don't think of work at all when I'm not in. I have to leave myself a note on what I was working on as I completely forget it as soon as I'm out the door. I am definitely one of life's bobbers.

Yeah public sector here, just gone back full time after working 3 days a week when DS was 1 until he started school. I have a professional career but I have no desire to progress, I just quite like that I know what I’m doing, I’m good at it and it’s super flexible which is ideal with young kids.

The people around me are so driven in the civil service and it makes me think, oh I should do that and I could do it, but quite frankly I can’t be bothered!

Same here. I like the term bobber. I am definitely bobbing along - occasionally wonder if I should be doing something else.

HCP in nhs
Worked 3 days a week for last 18 years bringing up a family. No interest in promotions which would take me away from the "coalface"

Yes, 2.5 days a week as a teaching fellow at a university. I have no ambition to climb the greasy pole but I'm not sure how acceptable that is!

I work 4 days a week and earn £38k in an office role in utilities. I have a 3 year old and just about to have my second baby. I have no desire to progress in my career at this time and it’s fine to continue doing the same thing for a while.

Plus i got made redundant last year and now my job is at risk again, so after this experience i don’t put too much weight on giving a shit about work tbh. I want to put more mental energy into my kids.

I am an academic, have three kids and always worked part time. The kids are great. The family has benefited. I’ve had a good time. The motherhood part has gone well.

and yet, I feel stuck and a bit blah about the career ceiling I’ve hit. I am nearly 50 and it feels too late somehow to salvage an academic career. My salary is okay and my pension is a bit disappointing. If I am not a failure, I have also not been a success.

I would do it again, but I frequently have to remind myself why I made these choices.

I suppose this is a mid life crisis.

Being able to do parental and household duties, and working part time, is often a preferred option and seen as a luxury to aspire to.

Whether the mum or dad wants to it is fine.

MN is often contradictory. Only the other day there was a thread on how people hate their jobs and want to retire asap. You are more likely to feel that burnout if working full time.

I understand the not giving up earning power if you break up, that is common sense, but it is a balance, you cannot have everything whichever way you do it.

I did 3 days a week until Dts started school, went up to 4 days over 5 and then when they were in y5 went properly FT but I had always had 2 days a week wfh pre covid. I don't think I could have done it without that in the early days. I was eating around 40 for the 3 days. I had pretty much the same workload over 5 than 3 or 4

Yes, I work at a university, compressed hours. I really pushed my career in my 20s, to get to a point now where I am happy to cruise and focus on family. You'll never get this time back with your kids, whereas there is always more time to work.

I relate very strongly ! in fact I was going to post about it as it's been getting me down a bit.

Also an academic. I have 2 kids, one in school one toddler, I work between 3-4 days per week (fairly flexible so sometimes do school pick up and work in evenings). It's mostly done remotely so I don't have anyone scrutinising my hours as long as I get my tasks/projects/teaching done, but I have full childcare for my theoretical
working hours and don't take the piss. I do pretty well in my appraisal so no concerns from my boss (yet!).

I do about 50-60% of drop offs/pick ups and always try to make school events, so my job does allow me to be around which is fantastic. I would ideally like to have more time with my toddler but can't really afford to drop hours.

Problem is I do feel a bit disappointed with myself/disillusioned with how my career has stalled a bit. Prior to having kids I was very ambitious, career focused, driven, did a PhD alongside a job etc. Even after my first child I was like this too and got a decent promotion.
Since coming back from my second child I just don't have the same drive (or care as much), I originally thought I would apply for promotion in couple years, but I just don't see it happening..... I just don't care as much about progressing with the next level of the tasks needed to get promotion....money at this level is good enough for now.
I have a constant battle in my head about where I should be....not sure if this is a trait of working in academia which can be cut throat and competitive , but i'm very guilty of comparing my career trajectory to others in similar roles in different universities and looking at their publications/outputs.

I can't really talk about this with anyone at work as feel i need to give the impression i'm still ambitious but actually i'm happy to just stay and "bob" at this level
for the foreseeable. This makes me feel anxious and I have an underlying feeling of guilt that I'm not pushing myself. On the flip side when i'm with my kids after work or on weekends I just love being with them and don't care about work. I tell myself this is just a season/chapter of life and maybe when they're through primary school I might have more motivation, but it makes me feel uneasy that I have changed

cross post - interested to hear this point of view, could you say more? I think it's great to have reassurance from those who are at the other side !!

Are you me? I think you must be me! I relate to every word of this.

Which was to this (first time attempting to quote someone didn't go so well). Still relate to every bit of this.

I work part time (4 days) in a frontline role. It involves community based visits and time in the office. Prior to being pregnant with my DD I had progressed a little up the ladder but unfortunately experienced work place bullying and ultimately left due subsequent anxiety and depression. After having my DD I took a step back in to an unqualified role as I wanted to make sure I had a good work life balance. When I felt ready I moved back in to a qualified position which I enjoy but have no desire for promotion. I have no desire to go back full time, financially we have made it work.

I know what you mean OP as sometimes I read on here and think wow everyone seems to be earning high amounts compared to me but its whatever makes you and your family.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply, it's so reassuring to know there's other mums in this position, not necessarily a failure but not really a success either as someone put it and it's something that really resonates with me.
Also it's very true that you will never get this time back with your children.

I am early 30s with 2 children under 5 so I appreciate there's more time left and I guess I put pressure on myself to make something of what I have left, but at the same time do I really want to make something of myself? Work is pretty stressful and I find working with people often quite awkward and not straight forward so is it easier for me to 'bob' along as I put it earlier...

All I know is I'd rather be in my position than a full time career woman with a nanny, so why do I feel guilty about it?

I guess it all boils down to the fact we, as women, have all the pressure of the childcare on our shoulders (and I'm my experience I want it to be that way) yet we know there's also the option for a career, and so we have this ongoing mental contradiction!

I gave up the big ‘career’ job 10 years ago when I had DS1 and his dad announced he would not take any responsibility for DS if he needed to be off nursery due to sickness, picked up early due to sickness, wouldn’t do any nursery drop off, pick ups etc (despite being self employed and able to work whatever hours he chose) My job involved long distance travel, overnights, long hours etc so I had to give it up. We split shortly after (surprise surprise!) and I’ve had part time jobs ever since. Currently working 16 hours a week flexi, from home for £28k while I have a small baby but I’m planning my exit to go self employed when DS2 starts school. I’ve been bobbing along for years now, I don’t mind it

Maybe you’d say I am from a different era but I always worked like this. Had a wonderful career but never worked full time. Very lucky to have had a supportive husband.