Maternity; when did you go back to work and how was it?

[FoleyHuck]

I'll be telling work I'm pregnant in the next few weeks, so starting to think about maternity, how long I'd like to take, how much we can afford for me to take (we're not on the UK mainland so entitlement here is a bit different / lower), what DH can take and when and what we'll each end up working in the longer term.

Obviously it ultimately all hinges on my employer agreeing and how they plan to manage covering my role (I would be surprised if they employed specific maternity cover, they haven't in the past for others) but I think I'd like to ask for a staged return from 6 or 8 months, starting at 15 or 20 flexible hours and working up to 30 or 37.5 per week after 12 months.

I'm just looking for the experience of people who've been there and done it, is 6 months ridiculously early to be thinking of going back? Did a staged return work for you and your employer? Did you decide not to go back at all? If you went back 'early' did you regret it, or did you miss work if you took the full year?

I'm feeling a bit guilty I think as they gave me a really significant pay-rise this month, so I'm probably a bit more aware of not wanting to let them down / leave them in the shit right now!

Thanks

My maternity was ’planned’ to start week before baby was due (end of May), however, it was Covid and I ended up going on furlough in March.. which was handy as had more time to plan and baby ended up being born 4 weeks early.

I had always planned to return in the New Year so my baby was 8 months old. I would’ve gone back sooner if I could I’ll be honest. I went back 3 days a week and stuck with that until she turned 3 and started full time school nursery this past September.

My employer were good though, let me adjust my days/hours to what suited me. I was happy to be back; felt like the ‘old me’ and was nice to have that ‘freedom’ as horrible as it sounds.

My boy is 6.5 months old for me this feels way too early to go back to work. Returning was never discussed when I went on mat leave which I'm glad about as there's no pressure. I have no idea when I'll return but I definitely won't be doing full time hours

9 months after DC1, 7 months after DC2 (but worked entirely from home for the first 3 months back, and DH was SAHD by that point).

6 months is early but I know mums who have done it.
It's different in the uk though - they don't ask (or at least, they shouldn't) when you're going to come back before you've had the baby. They assume a year and you engage with them on your return when you're ready within that year.
I went back at 9 months with my daughter which was hard but I enjoyed the 'me' time (even if it was work). It was 12 months with my son but by then I was more used to being a mum and less bothered about my career

Do what is right for you. Don't feel guilty or feel you owe the company anything. You're entitled to take 12 months so take what you want and make sure it's the right decision for you, not the company. It's better for everyone if you're happy when you come back to your role! And I doubt the company would feel guilty if the boot was on the other foot...!

I took 13 months including the accrued annual leave (so the full year). I love my job, I've worked so hard for the professional qualification I needed for it, and I'm really settled in my team and the company I work for. But, I am so glad I took the time I wanted off. It's once or twice in a lifetime (for me at least) and we have the rest of our lives to go back to work. In truth, I could have gone back after 10 months. I was probably ready and I really enjoy working part time when I went back to work.

To summarise, it doesn't matter whether you want to return to work immediately or take the full year or never return at all. Just make sure it's what you want to do, not what you feel you should do out of obligation or guilt towards the company!!
Congratulations btw 😄

Thanks for the varied responses, plenty to chew over

I really think it's hard to plan until the baby is here as everyone is so different! I took just over 12 months. I wouldn't have been ready any sooner. Went back part time, 3 days a week and I've really never looked back. It's a nice balance of mummy life and a slice of the old me which honestly feels like a break. I'm lucky my employer has been super flexible and I mainly work from home so the balance is achievable. My DD also gets so much from her time at nursery and really enjoys it so it works all round.

Hello! I am returning to work in two weeks after a year on mat leave. I personally wouldn't have felt ready to go back at six months but friends of mine went back earlier cause they needed to get out of the house (pandemic babies) and others eased back in a few hours a week. It's all very relative and personal. You won't know how you feel until you're in it!
I'm returning four days a week, I finish at 4pm and have a ten minute commute so that makes things easier!
Just wanted to comment on you saying you don't want to let work down or leave them in the shit. That's a them problem, not a you problem. People go on mat leave/long term sick leave/hand in their notice all the time, that's for management to figure out. You are completely replaceable in work, you are not replaceable at home. In my old job a lady who worked there for 32 years sadly passed away on a Tuesday and her position was advertised on the Thursday. You do what works for you!

Went back at 10 months with DC1 and cha he'd my hours so that I did 30 In three days, had every other day off which worked well with nursery illnesses.

With DD2 I went back at 6 months as DH also had 6 months paid leave, I was still breastfeeding and she wasn't sleeping well at all, so I ended up being signed off for three weeks with exhaustion and then had a month phased return, so was properly back when she was 8 months, adjusted much better. I enjoyed being back and getting back to normality. I feel like I'm missing out a bit as.back full time this time.

Thank you.

@Laneymoo I really do know it's a them problem but the timing has come just when they've been especially good to me (near 20% payrise and lots of flexibility / offers of practical or financial help with a major personal issue DH and I are going through) so it's not as easy to think 'screw it, not my problem' as it would usually be! It's a very small and close team too and I've worked there 15 approximately 100 years.

Went back when baby turned 1. From full time to 30 hours. I wouldn't have wanted to go back any earlier.

@FoleyHuck sounds like a lovely work environment and team! Based on what you're saying they sound approachable and very decent. Have you any idea how long you'd like to take after looking at finances etc? You could have a chat with them anyway. I didn't have a set return date when I left.

I went back at 8 months. I had this odd thing where i wanted my baby to be able to crawl and to be eating solids a bit before they started nursery, as at that point in time, i was a bit unhappy about nursery care. (It was good in the end)

For me, 6 months would have been hard as i was breastfeeding every 3 hours still and had only just started weaning.

My best friend went back at 4 months but her mum was looking after the baby.

@Laneymoo Having read some comments here I'm thinking maybe I'll suggest a staged return after 8 months (or maybe 10!).

I'm really going to sit down with DH and work out exactly how much we'll need to use from savings for per month I'm off, and go from there.

Sounds like a good plan!