When Your Blood Runs Cold

[Ugghh]

Just that really - I work in an office role where the culture means I am constantly on high alert. I always feel like I’m about to fall foul of something, always feel I have to cover myself, maintain an email record of what’s been said & done.
I know HR isn’t there for me.
I know bullying is difficult to prove and is mostly he said/she said.
I know the advice on keeping a diary but individual records can be (and have been) argued and batted away previously.
This is not paranoia - I know my work life shouldn’t be like this, but how common actually is this really ?

I was bullied at a previous role, where I am now I’ve seen people bullied. Two of the victims left before the bully was sacked. More recently someone was again bullied-I did report. Sadly they went off sick then left.
Are you looking for another job?
Bullying pretty much ruined my life. I left a company I worked at for over 15 years and lost a lot of perks. My MH has never really recovered.
I’m sorry you are also suffering, I hope you can get out soon.

Just that really - I work in an office role where the culture means I am constantly on high alert. I always feel like I’m about to fall foul of something, always feel I have to cover myself, maintain an email record of what’s been said & done

Had exactly this at exjob - the feeling that I couldn't trust anyone, whether or not they were actually trustworthy, and that I was always having to make sure my work was bulletproof, largely because a senior member of the company threw me under the bus with an even more senior member to cover his own backside. After the worst of covid was over I left (an interestingly, so did quite a few people in my department later on).

It's horrible.

I’ve never felt like this in a job and unless the pay/benefits are really good then I’d seriously consider moving.

It sounds like you won’t get any worse than where you are now so it’s worth the risk.