Scared and feeling guilty giving in sick note

[novalia89]

Can someone give me some rational advice on being scared and feeling guilty giving in sick note to work?

I am depressed. Although I don't want to admit it I am and I haven't been happy for years. I can't keep on top of my life and my work concentration is suffering. I spend a lot of time in bed and my house is a mess. I can't focus in work.

I rung the doctor after deliberating for weeks, or even months and had an appointment today. One of the reasons why it took me so long because I was always too late/rushed/overwhelmed in the morning to remember to ring and by 11am the online triage for said that they weren't taking any more forms.

I got a call from the GP today and I'm a blubbering mess after being my usual cheery fake self after being asked how I am. I just can never admit to it other than to a select few people.

She recommended a week off to refresh and get in better routines and will review it in a week (well it will actually be 4 days because she started it from today). And also because of the antidepressants side effects.

However, I'm wracked with guilt over that and didn't want depression to go on the form. It's knowing that all my team will wonder where I am and why I am off and that it might make me look bad. In the end stress was just written. Now I feel like it might make me look like I can't manage and I just am 'fine' one day and then off for a week the next.

Can anyone give me some rational advice and let me know what may happen. It probably will do me some good to try and get on the top of things without the stress of work too. Will stress on the form look bad? Do I just ring up and say that I have a sick note? I have only ever rung and explained the sickness myself.

It is very normal for human beings to go off sick, whether it be for a day, a few days, weeks or longer. We all have bodies and minds and sometimes they malfunction which makes going to work hard or impossible and your doctors has prescribed a break from work to support your recovery.

Honestly, most people won’t think more than a few seconds about why you are absent and most of those people will be thinking “I hope she’s okay” before moving onto whatever else is going on with them.

Your doctor has clearly realised you need a break because you are unwell. No one worthy of your consideration will bat an eye about that, and anyone worth your respect will encourage you to follow doctors orders.

Also by the way, in the uk you can self certify for sickness for 7 calendar days so your doctor certifying you should mitigate any guilt - it is literally doctors orders.

I've been signed off this week too. I've had a few physical issues but stress too and the doctor said I needed to rest.

Honestly, I haven't felt guilty at all. I've realised this week that your health is your wealth, mental and physical, and that nobody else is going to look after it except you. People talk about self care being bubble baths and facials but actually it's also the tough stuff like putting boundaries in place that keep us healthy, even if they feel uncomfortable or embarrassing.

You have been diagnosed with stress and the doctor has told you to take the week. You are in the thick of it now and probably can't see how badly the stress is affecting your entire system. You need to overwrite the current feelings of awkwardness and embarrassment and put the sick note in. You will see how much you actually needed it by the end of the week when you start coming out the other side.

Do the right thing for yourself, even if it feels weird. Nobody else has to live in your body, your mind, your life and they aren't the ones who have to live with consequences you will have to if you don't rest.

The world of work is, by its nature, a self serving one. Its a wheel that depends on everyone being 'in'. When you aren't in, then of course there will be some kind of readjustment on the other side, but that's no reason to demote your own health and prioritise the smooth flow of the working day in whatever organisation you're part of.

Come out of the system, get better and go back in when you feel up to it. I give you permission!

'your doctors has prescribed a break from work to support your recovery.'

Thank you so much for this. It literally was my doctor prescribing the break because she didn't want me to get a disciplinary. I didn't ask for it and said that I didn't want to take the time off. It's so stupid really.

'Honestly, most people won’t think more than a few seconds about why you are absent and most of those people will be thinking “I hope she’s okay” before moving onto whatever else is going on with them.' This is so true. I told my line manager and he said something similar and the project lead just said 'Ah ok, no worries, hope you feel better soon!! Take care'.

We really do overthink these things. I was stressing all night and it made me tear up a little when I saw that response back from him which has highlighted that I'm not quite right at the moment. Hopefully the anti-depressants will kick in soon. Also, I don't think that anyone in my team will even see the note, apparently it just gets attached to my timesheets, so it may only be my line manager (not in my team thankfully).

Thanks :)