Character / personal reference

[Hmovingforward]

Hello,

sorry for the rambling in advance😴

I’ve been offered a position and I’m really excited. I have given the details of my references which have all come back okay, but the company also wants a character/personal reference from a professional (they gave me a list of professionals, they will accept) , however, I don’t know anyone who can give me one.

Bit of a background story , I’ve been a carer for my mother, since I was a teenager (I’m now in my 20’s) and have never really been able to socialise or go to any normal colleges or universities that weren’t online. Any gaps I’ve had in employment have been covered by Carers allowance. I have been left extremely isolated and it turns out the only professional I know is my GP , who, of course, despite desperately wanting to help is unable to give me a character reference. I’ve explained this all to them and given them proof of any benefits I was entitled to whilst unemployed. However, I’m really worried that this could mean the offer is off the table, as they seem to not know what to say when I’ve asked the last 3 times !

My college tutor from the “learn on the job” qualification I did (which ended up being delivered virtually- as it clashed with lockdown) is unable to give character references!

Has this happened to anyone else?😩

Do you know anyone personally who is one of those professionals?
I havent' worked for ages and have given personal refs for something recently from someone who is a head teacher, for example.

Unfortunately no , I find it quite embarrassing actually🫣. I haven’t known a professional since I was in secondary school!

I'm not sure how old you are but could you ask a teacher you had at school?

I'm will be in a similar position in that having had a family business and self employed, I will have to use personal references. I will supply references from an ex employee and a customer. Neither are professionals.

I wonder how strict the list is.

Even if it's tenuous ....? When I got my very first passport and needed a similar sort of thing, I asked (or my parents asked) a policeman who lived nearby. He didn't know me that well (although he did know our family).

Annoying about the tutor not being able to give references. Like firms these days, who can only give a bog standard one via HR. Can you point them to the 'HR' dept of the college?

I definitely feel like it’s been an eye opener , coming to the realisation that it’s just been me and my mother for soo many years😬. I’m hoping for some good news tomorrow in regards to what they decide next

I agree with @OhpoorMe that at you age I would use an old school teacher as a reference (polite to put down the name of the headteacher in my experience).

Is there a local Facebook page for your village / town etc? Could you ask there?
What about parents of school friends? Do any of them do professional jobs.
Does your pharmacy know you?
Contact your old school?
Speak to your local counsellor or MP

Failing that send a character reference with contact details.

Is it a big company with a diversity and discrimination policy? If so, point out they are discriminating against carers and blocking social mobility if they reject you purely on this basis.

Thanks for all your suggestions! , I left school about 8 years ago and unfortunately was never really stable in any of my schools whilst balancing the care at home

Thank you so much for suggestions. I was thinking about possibly speaking with my local mp but wasn’t sure. I’ll give it ago as I’ve reached out to her previously about other matters.

It’s quite a big company I will have a look at their policies again - that’s a good point!

Was there anyone else involved with your mother? District nurse, home care agency? What about a neighbour or an old family friend or school friend?

Does your mum have a district nurse or physio?

Any neighbours with professional jobs?

family solicitor or community pharmacist?

otherwise I’d agree - teacher, and maybe add a note saying your GP cab confirm you’ve been a carer all this time.