Feeling upset about not getting job

[Mysticaltay]

I have been a sahm for 6 years, raising my dc. Before that I was at university and had a part time job. I’m late 20’s now with no career and need to get into full time work.

I was contacted by a recruiter for an operations assistant role and put forward. I wasn’t bothered but decided to just let them out my cv forward. I had an interview with the company on Tuesday and although I did rubbish, the actual job and company itself was AMAZING. Like this is literally a job in a dream company that I could never get in to. This would be a dream to get, seriously not realistic that I would ever manage to work for a company like this.

it’s a global company with headquarters all around the world, it’s London office is 5 minutes from where I live in the most luxurious London cooperate office - as soon as I walked in I was amazed and knew I wasn’t ever going to land the role! Although the role is quite basic at first just with admin duties, they want the candidate to be trained to be the actual operator within 6-12 months! Which is a wage increase Ofcourse. Most people in the business have worked there for 10+ years, they all progress and move up. They said there is loads of chance for progression, learning new skills, training and to explore different departments and if you want to switch departments in the future you can. It’s 2 days in office and 3 days wfh. Everything about it was just perfect to me.

I know 100% I have not got the job. They were interviewing more candidates and although not terrible, my answers in the interview were not great and apart from a part time job at uni I have no work experience.

my issue now is I already feel so upset that I won’t get it. I only went to the interview purely for the experience and practice for the future. I knew I’d never secure a job like that and I was ok with it. I thought it would give me the motivation to get back to work. Well it Definitley did! Only problem is I know when I get the official ‘unsuccessful’ message I am going to be absolutely devastated.

I have never in my life found something that really interests me. I have wanted to get back to work but have no idea what I want to do. I’ve felt so stuck and thought of career changes but wasn’t sure in what. This company has interested me so much. It’s something I never would’ve looked into before or considered. Equally, it’s not a common role/company that you’d find.

the company didn’t even post the vacancy, they went directly through an agent and the recruiter contacted me. It’s not something I’d find again when looking on job boards etc. this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me, it would change my life and my children’s lives! It would mean I could move us into a better home, I could push myself more and grow and learn new skills etc.

im not sure what I want out of this thread but I don’t know what I will do about the rejection. I’m going to feel heartbroken and so upset. I always tell myself ‘everything happens for a reason’ and that’s all I can think that’s positive. I am now considering going into hr, doing the CIPD level 3. It’s the only other thing that interests me but even that will never get me a role like this.

any advice?

THey sound massively disorganised. You've asked FOUR times for feedback and no-one's bothered to respond to you or the recruiter. Why is the HR lady having all these problems the only one able to handle your recruitment?

Write this one off. You didn't get the job, they aren't interested in giving feedback (and FWIW I wouldn't ask four times, I'd shrug and move on).

I wonder if they have offered the position to someone else and are waiting to confirm with them, so are keeping you on the back burner just in case.

Otherwise they are being really unprofessional by not just giving you the standard 'thanks but no thanks' feedback...

It’s not something I’d find again when looking on job boards etc. this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me, it would change my life and my children’s lives! It would mean I could move us into a better home, I could push myself more and grow and learn new skills etc.

To put it bluntly, OP, you're hanging an awful lot on getting this job and catastrophising that a chance like this is never going to come again - for something that was a bog standard admin job on £ 25K, whatever the company held out to you in the way of progression.

3 interviews for a basic admin role? That seems ... excessive

It is, two at most. If someone told me it pays £ 25k and three in depth interviews are neededI'd be suggesting they'd got the salary wrong.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain exactly. And if thats what they expect at interview stage, can you imagine what they would be like as an employer? Likely expect you to go above and beyond your pay grade and responsibilities.
I can't help but feel like the OP has had a lucky escape tbh.

@Mysticaltay

my first question at interview 67 would be how much you will be interacting with Senior Twat?

I agree, they seem very unorganised and I probably have dodged a huge bullet.

I asked the recruiter again today, she reassured me not to worry about contacting her as it shows I am keen to hear back. She said she hasn’t heard anything yet, was hoping to hear something today or tomorrow (which I’ve been told before) and that if she hasn’t heard today she will send a follow up email tomorrow afternoon.

it doesn’t make sense, their is a large hr department in the company and 2 specific ladies that are dealing with the department for this role. So I am not quite sure why someone else couldn’t send over the feedback for me etc.

I really just wanted to get the feedback and see exactly what they had to say, as it was such a strange interview process for me that I’m curious to know what they will say

I have to say that recruiter sounds a bit casual; if they have a chance of getting someone into a role and earning a fee recruiters will be chasing without the candidate reminding them. You have to bear in mind that you might not be the only candidate she has and she's putting you off while she's pushing someone else with a better chance.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket with this or other jobs. Accept you probably don't have it, put it out of your mind and keep job searching.

Can I give you a tip for the future? with this 'I want to hear the feedback' you're coming over as a bit entitled to their time and effort for an admin job. Wanting to hear if you got the job - fine, but some recruitment processes take time, and it's December, people are off, there are parties and end of year to deal with. The company isn't obliged to give you coaching in your interview technique, and TBH, if a candidate was pestering this much for feedback on how they did I'd wonder how demanding of time and attention they are going to be if they were employed.

MrsDanvers is correct. Calm down a bit. And TBH, you sound like someone with almost no work history and you were who the recruiter contacted? Sounds strange to me. I would have thought there were a lot of more suitable candidates with actual experience. Almost agree that the amount of interviews and testing is OTT

Agreed. It's quite clear from your posts and behaviour that you have very little experience on the job market.

Yes I don’t have much work experience as I should at my age however, I have a good few years under my belt within 3 different companies and my experience and skills matched the job which is why the recruiter contacted me.

she let me know that out of everyone she put forward on her side, I was the only one that made it to the final interview. So I don’t think it’s a case that she’s pushing a different candidate. She did say the company were interviewing a few other candidates who had applied directly to the role (not through a recruiter) but she wasn’t sure how many of them made it to the final stage.

I don’t feel entitled at all, maybe over eager yes I agree. The company itself told me at the final interview they would give me their feedback in 2 weeks, which is why I feel I deserve to have the feedback since that’s what they agreed to give me. If they hadn’t told me I’d get any feedback then I wouldn’t have chased it up and would have assumed no news meant I didn’t get the job.

I am keen to get the feedback just so I can see what they thought, where I may have gone wrong etc and can know for next time. Clearly I haven’t got the role at this point and will just move on

They are not obliged to give you feedback and you're not entitled to it. And acting as if you are is offputting. Saying they'd give it to you is like saying your cv's very impressive and you're well suited to the role - it doesn't mean you have the job, it's politeness.

A lot of employers don't want to give it because some candidates react badly - check out Ask A Manager if you don't believe me.

I would strongly suspect they have offered the role to another candidate but they haven’t signed the contract yet so they are holding back telling the candidates in case that falls over.

obviously It would be great to get feedback but I find HR teams are often loathe to encourage it to avoid risks of claims. So feedback might be something generic such as “other candidate had more relevant experience”. So manage your own expectations here.

Chalk it up at good interview practice and next time don't get your heart set on something.
I'm in my dream role now but to get here I had to do jobs I liked but were not necessarily what I wanted- I'm talking lots of anti social hours and hard work. Sometimes you might have to lower your expectations with a lower paid lower skilled job to get experience on your CV. Even something like working in a supermarket can give you customer service and organisational skills to put on your CV or even temp work in admin.

And from experience often feedback isn't given

Have a read of this, OP, both from employers and candidates POV

https://www.askamanager.org/2020/11/why-cant-i-get-feedback-about-why-i-was-rejected-for-a-job.html

Chalk it up at good interview practice and next time don't get your heart set on something

100% this. Give any interviews your best shot, come out telling yourself you did as well as you could and shelve it as best you can. You won't always hear, esp if it's job that attracts a lot of well-qualified candidates, and you definitely won't get feedback from 99.9% of interviews you have, apart from generic comments.

It was definitely good practice.

Thanks for the advice everyone.

so I received a message from the recruiter today. She let me know that the hr lady had a family emergency so was off for a while and the department team had been travelling so it was hectic and they appreciate my patience. They said I am still in the running and they will be meeting with the team on Friday and I should hopefully hear more news then.

Definitley good practice, although I don’t think I’ll get the role I am looking forward to receiving the feedback.

I think you ought to prepare yourself for not receiving this feedback you set such store by and think you're entitled to. You're really being brushed off here and I'm inclined to think that they are waiting for someone else to accept the job. I'm finding it very hard to believe that a global company has ONE HR person dealing with recruitment.

Blimey OP. I don't think I'd take the role even if I was offered it.

Sounds like an awful company to work for. Have you read their reviews on GlassDoor?