You've really gained confidence

[Icefoot]

I was in an Exec team meeting yesterday, in a job I started 10 weeks ago.

I was on fire 🤣 I led the discussions, solved the problems, had good and imapctful ideas. (I wasn't the only one). The meeting was very successful and at the end we reflected on why. One of the directors said it was noticiable how much confidence I'd gained, as if in previous meetings it was something I'd lacked.

The reason I'd struggled in previous meetings was becuase my predecessor left me nothing by way of handover, I mean absolutely nothing and every question I asked was met with "we don't know would x would have had that". There was noninduction either. It's taken me this long to unravel things and find out what the hell is going on and TBH, I've done a bloody good job of that too.

I know he was probably trying to be positive and supportive, but it felt patronising and insulting.

It doesn't sound like it was meant in a patronising manner, I think you should enjoy the comment for what it was, and use it to boost your confidence further.

It's great that their perceptions of you are changing over time, for the better.

I'd take as it as complement.

I'd been in my Job 5 years when my (then) boss said to me one day he'd noticed a confidence in me he had never seen before and he wasn't sure why (because I'd always been good at the job) but he hopes it doesn't disappear again! I'd already been promoted twice to the highest pay scale my role had at that point.

I didn't tell him outside life forces meant I suddenly had to find a voice to sell what I could do rather than silently doing it.

8 years later I got promoted 2 years ago to a new role created at a pay grade only I am on in this role and it's just been made permanent.

So they never saw my lack of outward confidence as a bad thing I don't think. They knew I was competent. More a personal gain for me?

Then you need to tell him about the handover etc, he's not a mind reader 🤷‍♂️

It sounds like it was meant as a compliment. You’re doing well and it’s been noticed. Take it as a positive.

He's knows about the handover.

OP - I’ve had this said to me before. It felt backhanded given far as I was concerned I wasn’t lacking confidence beforehand! 😂
If it’s bought up again I’d just reiterate the lack of handover (although I appreciate you already have).

Then maybe he forgot because he had more pressing things on his mind?

Honestly, some people would take offence in an empty room.

Obviously only you know the tone in which it was said IP but I really think it was intended as a compliment. I have similar to colleagues who I have noticed really step up and start to own projects.

I also would take it as a positive!

Mainly as sometimes people cant see beyond their first impressions and even if you were dealt a bad hand at the beginning can become very blinkered.

I inherited a longstanding broken team once - they were so dysfunctional and down right aggressive as a team that they were genuinely shocking to work with.

With some very fraught conversations we got to really great place but in the eyes of the higher ups I was always the 'best damn lion tamer at the zoo' and just never saw beyond that to the great team we had become and fantastic things we were doing (I mean some of this stuff was truly ground breaking). No matter how hard I worked to show how I had moved beyond that initial phase that first impression of me stuck and I never progressed until I left.