I feel so frustrated I could cry :-(

[milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo]

I'll try and put this in a nutshell, before i went on maternity leave I was working full-time in an educational establishment. I went back part-time (2 days a week) and ever since then I have had no end of problems with colleagues making demands on me and not appreciating that a) I am part-time and b) I have childcare to consider. So this means I can't work late, I can't attend meetings on days I don't work, I can't change my hours with a moments notice as generally I have to give nursery notice. I can't always answer emails within 24hrs as I don't work fulltime. I feel I am expected to do a fulltimers job in part-timers hours.

I feel marginalised and sidelined and now I dread going to work. I feel as I am perceived as unreasonable and a pain in the ar*e. Feel so stressed and have been suffering from anxiety attacks Doesn't help that I am 8 weeks pregnant (they don't know).

Could you speak with your manager and get them to understand how you feel?

You need to talk to someone (line manager? HR?). Not as a list of complaints, but as a 'how to make the p/t working thing work' conversation. Make a list of the issues and (importantly) how you will deal with them. You may have done this already in your original application to work p/t, so copy this if necessary.

I understand you are feeling crappy and stressed, but if you are to sort this you need to step back a bit and look at it as a work problem rather than a relationships problem IYSWIM. It may be that your colleagues aren't doing this on purpose, but there's a problem with communication/scheduling or whatever.

I had exactly the same problem when I went back part-time after mat leave, so I know how you feel.
I even ended up being on-call on my days off

I agree with frizbe- arrange a meeting with your line manager and explain your concerns. it is the only way to resolve thses issues and not get yourself more and more stressed

I've tried that but he just said I need to communicate more ... which I do. For example I couldn't attend a quality meeting which was on a day I don't work, some issues were brought up during that meeting (students complained they couldn't get hold of me throughout the working week!?) and I wasn't told. Apparently my responsbility to find out (read minds?), infact I did ask if anything relevant came up at the meeting and was brushed off.

I feel stuck because I can't leave (due to pregnancy), the lack of control is the worst thing.

e.g. 'I will answer emails within X days. When I am not in the office Y will check my emails and answer them if they are urgent. If there is a very urgent issue they will contact me on this number'

re meetings, rather than asking if anything comes up could you make sure someone else takes notes (if there are no formal minutes) and sends them to you?

Could you put together a written piece outlining exactly when you are available, that minutes of meetings are made available etc
So it is in black and white and everyone invovled is aware

I asked my manager if he had any advice regarding managing part-time hours and he couldn't really supply any. Think I may have to have a confidential chat with HR.

This may or may not be relevant but I had a greivance complaint against one of my colleagues upheld about 3 years ago which is why I think it is personal, but I have no evidence to back this up realy.

sounds like you are not getting the support you need. One option is to leave (and you don;t want to do that), the other is to take control. On the bright side, if you are only working 2 days and planning to leave on maternity you don't have to worry about pissing people off

Effie that is a good idea with regards the note taking, I have had an auto-response message on my Outlook Express every since I started back informing emailers of my hours and who to contact in my absence.

1. Congrats on PG

1. That little girl in your profile pictures is soooooo cute

1. I know what you mean, I felt somewhat sidelined when I was back part time, and my manager was quite good at keeping me up to date with anything I missed, and nearly always arranged meetings for days I was in.

DO you set up "out of office" messages on your email? Can you put a sign on your door saying when you are available? And can the students see someone else when you are not arround?

oh X-posts with loads of you

Ask on here - there are plenty of people working p/t (I work 4 days a week)

re the out of office response, I'm not keen on them personally but they can be helpful. You may also need an actual person checking emails for anything urgent, but that depends on your line of work and the gaps between your working days.

TBH, this is a problem when a job just doesn't fit with being part time (ie that its one that you come in, do your work, and go home again with no overlapping work). My colleague has done 3 days a week for the last 4.5 years, and still no one can ever remember that she's not in Monday or Tuesday. The Blackberry has been a godsend to her as she can look at emails on her non working days and deal with a few bits in the evening.

And from your colleagues perspective, it can be frustrating to try and organise a meeting when a participant is only ever available on two days, and has very set hours. Is there any way you can offer a little flexibility by getting someone else to pick up from nursery on occasion so that you show that you are flexible ?

I have tried to be flexible for example last year I was left with two months without any childcare because they allocated my timetable too late (despite many reminders for months before hand). I have also come in on the odd day that I am not usually working, but don't want it to become habitual. Also I don't have many people who can realistically do pick ups.

I can access my emails at home via the intranet so if I need to work late I do it at home. In reality my job is an ideal candidate for p/t hours its just I don't have the support of my students or staff.

What exactly do you need in the way of support? I'd do a list and then a cunning strategy for getting what I want compromising on each (don't necesarily share this list with your boss!)

I think I'll do that try and write down what is bothering me and what I need. Could be a useful document to take to my boss.

what I mean to say is that it sounds like the power balance is against you atm - you aren't being told about stuff, you're feeling pressured and anxious. So you could see it as an opportunity to tip the scales your way a bit. You have some imp advantages:

• you were (presumably) granted your request to work p/t so they think you are up to the job
• they offered you that job knowing you have fmaily commitments so they can't raise issues over that now
• you presumably have lots of experience in managing small children (IME office colleagues are pretty much similar )

Hi

I also work part-time in an educational establishment (HE) and have varied my contract every year for last 6 years, have had 3 maternity leaves there. Sounds like you may be either in a small team, perhaps the cover for the rest of what was your job when FT is not clear/not in place(?), none of your colleagues have current caring responsibilities. My experience is definitely that being consistent about when you work helps people to get their heads around your availability, and get spelt out what is expected contracturally. If you want to be available to students on e mail at other times, set that up with your groups/individuals yourself and tell them what you are able/prepared to do. there is also a useful concept of 'core' time when colleagues know they can get hold of you and other times when you work flexibly. I think HE is set up for this kind of part-time working as so many FT staff are actually working Pt in their various capacities within the contract, but if its FE then you may find the demands for being present far greater. Good luck, congrats on pregnancy, don;t let anyone drag you down, remind yourself why you want to work (if you do) and take sick leave if you are feeling bad (8 weeks can be a low point). The other route is grievance for such things as late timetabling. That often happens in my place, but it isn;t always the fault of the immediate manager, but to do with higher up and funding arrangements, so very frustrating for all concerned. But you should not be being asked to pay the price for such inefficiency!