High performer but also a big dressing down

[LuciferRising]

Had this situation yesterday. One area of work I've been struggling to get traction on and the feedback went in very heavy with their concerns on whether the delay is caused by my lack of leadership, rather than the reasons given. They gave examples. Then talked about things I should think about.There is no doubt I was being told to get my shit together.

All others areas they were completely happy with and I had exceeded expectation. We spoke about perception etc.

Then it felt like they were giving me the opportunity to fight for the higher rating, so I did, and they agreed.

I'm senior eg a Head Of. Next step up will be a big step.

This person has only ever been fair and would not give out ratings they did not agree with. Half expecting it to be downgraded in calibration.

But I can't align the two parts of the conversation in my head. It was tough. I thought they were going to go much lower based on the start. Any thoughts? Obviously I'm planning on how to work on the feedback.

Sounds like it was a ‘great overall
but you’ve lost grip on X, and need to get it back by end year to get the higher rating’ conversation. I’d see it as a chance to deal with an area which may need more of your time to get it back on track. Unless it’s really an impossible ask and out of your control, in which case you need to clearly demonstrate all you’ve done, all the advice and feedback and which bits you’ve acted on and why, and thoughts about why that hasn’t yet shifted the dial and what the next steps should be. Maybe it’s just not doable and the scope needs narrowing?

If you are up for a sizeable promotion I would expect you to be tested particularly on what is perceived as your weaker areas.

If it is agreed that it was just perception then its worth reviewing your outward comms and upward management, especially if you are taking a large step up the ladder. You may need to increase or adjust this for the level above.

If I understood correctly, I think you have a great and emotionally mature workplace if they can seperate issues from the person and provide feedback specifically. I'd take the feedback and the confidence boost re agreed higher grading on board.

Well I'm incredibly introverted and quiet, and he is extremely extroverted and loud. He tells me quiet is completely fine but I need to manage perception, including his and to think of strategies to tackle this, and for this particular project the perception needs work. Managing upwards and sideways - it doesn't always seem I am leading in it.

Have started to read a few books on introverted leader to see what I can do.

it felt like they were giving me the opportunity to fight for the higher rating, so I did, and they agreed.

I'm senior eg a Head Of. Next step up will be a big step.

given this outcome (they did put you down for a higher rating) and the next step up being a big one, I would read the feedback as being more about what you need to do if you want to make that next step. NOT about whether you are performing at the required level for your current role.

Your boss sounds supportive and emotionally intelligent, and like he’s trying to help you navigate you to shine as the leader in a way you need to to progress in your career

There is a very good book “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There” which was recommended to me by my coach, which you might find helpful

Thank you. I'll take a look at that book recommendation

This is good advice. I’m senior (director) and more introverted than a lot of leaders and you do need to sometimes find strategies to get the impact and gravitas you need without being naturally extrovert. The recommendation on “introverted readership” are a good shout.

I also agree the conversation sounded like “this is what you need for the next role” rather than a dressing down as such.

nothing wrong with leading as an introvert. You just need to know when to be outside of that comfort zone, and when you can make it work for you. Things like over indexing on other forms of stakeholder management and communication.

Things like over indexing on other forms of stakeholder management and communication

What does this mean?

Sorry

so things like doing more things with people 1:1 or face to face than maybe other leaders do. Build the relationships and the credibility in a way they can see how good you are.

I am far better 1 2 1. People was called out as a strength - even though I'm incredibly introverted! I simply want people to achieve what they want to, whether that is moving up the ranks, or just showing up and going home with no other wish.