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Work / Relationship problem

6 replies

Mumofalittlemadam · 19/10/2023 10:10

So my partner works long hours as a builder mon-fri and he's job is very physical and tiring. He's commute is two hours each way so four hours travelling on trains / buses everyday. I know that he enjoys he's job but I am feeling that he is being exploited as he gets paid less than minimum wage when I calculate the long hours that he works and he's income plus he NEVER gets paid on time & often has to wait a whole week before being paid. I've told him my thoughts and he dismisses any opinion i may have, does not want to have that conversation. How can I make him see that he has other options and to pursue a job closer to home with a boss that will pay fairly & on time. It is straining our relationship as he is so so committed to this job but is constantly tired, we never have dinner together nor does he see his child during the week because he's home so late. He seems to think that this is he's only opportunity to build something and says things will change but all I see is exploitation.
He's even tried to convince me that it's a good idea to move to the area he works in and that it's a good idea for him to work weekends aswell. He feels so guilty for having a holiday even though he never takes time off not even a bank holiday.

OP posts:
mrboombasticwhy · 19/10/2023 10:23

F

AnSolas · 19/10/2023 10:25

Why is he traveling two hours away for work?
Why is he not looking at local builder crews?

He needs to be put "in charge" of Mumofalittlemadam Limited and present a business plan. Long term where is he planning to be when he fits 50? Running his own business or still working away for low pay? What skills has he currently got and is he upskilling in the current job.

How come he is not able to calculate that time is money and that he could be spending the 4 hours traveling time earning money if he worked local?

It may be that you both would have a better life if you moved. He would make a small saving in the spend on public transport. But unless the money he is making is to provide for a much better quality of life why is he not willing to get a better located job.

Mumofalittlemadam · 19/10/2023 15:47

@AnSolas so he does have a criminal record and for this reason does not believe that he would be able to land a better job than what he has now. He seems to think that this is he's only opportunity. He does not work for a building company but a rich investor that buys up properties to be renovated. He's boss (the subcontractor) is an old friend from way back and has apparently said he will leave the business to my partner when he plans to move abroad but he's already mentioned that he will expect a percentage of the jobs from any work of he's old clients. I can't seem to get through to my partner that this job is not worth the problems it is causing us. If only he put the effort in to finding a new boss that he puts effort in to this underpaid overworked job then I'm sure that he would be able to land a better job than the current one that is not working for us as a family. I just know this is going to cause arguments over the Christmas period as he's boss don't allow holidays and I expect my partner to spend Xmas and new year home with he's family.

OP posts:
BigHaircut · 19/10/2023 17:01

His boss doesn't allow holidays? That sounds illegal. You need to read this:
https://www.gov.uk/holiday-entitlement-rights

Does your partner meet the definition of "worker" as defined in that guidance?
Do you have a Citizens Advice Bureau near you? Go there for help.

I agree with you that he needs to put the effort into finding a new job nearer home. This guy is no "old friend". He is exploiting your partner.

I don't know where you live, but round here they're crying out for builders, labourers, trades etc. Do you have a local Facebook page for your town? People post on ours when they're looking for work.

BigHaircut · 19/10/2023 17:11

I would not uproot your whole life and your child's life for a job like this. Not unless you want to move anyway. But do not do it just for this job.

AnSolas · 20/10/2023 09:37

He has a conviction so depending on the reason may find it hard to get another job as an employee

You need to be realistic about understanding his ability to earn a living. Has he the skill base to run a reno job? The first investor buys the property and sub-contracts the work can your partner price the job, locate workers keep them working on site and turn a profit?
If not how far out is he from being a able to do this? Because if he has the skill to run a crew he should not be on low wages.
However if he is learning and getting there it may be a case of short term pain for long term gain.

On a personal level you need to think about how you want to live your life. You are a single parent at the moment would your life be better if you split now and created your own life as an actual single parent

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