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Feel like I've lost all my confidence

2 replies

capnfeathersword · 13/10/2023 23:05

Just sitting here on this Friday night wondering what to do with my life! I took 4 years out of work having children which I know I was fortunate to be able to do. Went back to work a year ago and just cannot cope. Took a much lower paid job than I left on, initially just to step back into the work force part time, also needed something that fitted around school pickups etc.

I just feel stuck now. I had to go full time as they would only do part time for a fixed period. So I'm working full time for low pay. I am happy enough in the job. The people are lovely. It isn't particularly stressful but it is busy and physically tiring. But I'm shattered from the driving, the pickups, my children, everything. I have no time to get anything done, the house is a tip and I spent all weekend recovering from the week.

The obvious answer is I look for something better paid and part time. But I just feel crippled with anxiety. Like I'm a totally different person to the one I was pre children. I feel like if I can't cope now, how will I cope with a higher level job. What if I take it on then let everyone down.

Has anyone else felt like this after some time out of work? What helped? I seem to fit between wanting to challenge myself and earn more money and just quit it all and just be a mum! I just feel so shattered from trying to do everything.

OP posts:
contactme · 13/10/2023 23:41

Just to break down your points:

It is busy and physically tiring.

What job did you do before, and what job are you doing now?

But I'm shattered from the driving,

Could a location closer to home or a job working from home suit?

the pickups, my children, everything.

Do you get any support? Are you eligible for help with childcare?

I have no time to get anything done,

Could look into applying for part time roles or placing a flexible working request

the house is a tip I spent all weekend recovering from the week.

I definitely feel this way sometimes. I think overall your job isn’t a good fit for you though, a decent job should compliment your life ie you feel you have the headspace to focus on life

Namechange13101 · 14/10/2023 17:50

I don't have any advice but completely understand how you feel. I've been back at work 18 months after my second maternity leave and i still don't feel like i've found my feet at work. I'm getting great feedback from peers and mangers etc but still don't feel like me at work, and juggling life outside of work even with a supportive husband who does his share is exhausting both physically and mentally, so just be kind to yourself as you are definitely not the only one who feels like this. I don't have any advice to give, except that you aren't alone in feeling like this.

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