Quitting due to depression

[Elderscrolling]

Sitting here just stepping away from my computer. I made another mistake at my job. I do an admin type roll but it's got implications if things are done wrong - like big fines. I am so depressed about my personal life and then with this role I can't seem to get a grip. I learned the job remotely and I just don't understand it all even after a year. People on my team who understand it have been there 5-10+ years. I've walked away from my computer and think I may let them fire me. I don't have other options work wise either. This might be a mental health post.

Are you getting any help with your MH? If not, your first step is going off sick, booking a GP appointment and seeing whether you need help with it.

If you're thinking of quitting the job or walking away and being fired, then you've absolutely nothing to lose by asking your boss for a meeting, raising the areas you're struggling with and asking for further training. That could be all that's needed to turn things around for you with this job.

I've had poor mental health my whole life due to circumstances. No amount of therapy or drugs can fix it. I've tried. I have chronic illness related to cancer treatment on top of it which affects my mental capacity and affects my job.

That aside I took this role out of desperation for better pay (it still only gets me paycheque to paycheque). I just get stuck all the time with not understanding what I'm supposed to do and trying to track down people online to help. I probably have ADD as well and I'm not suitable as I miss things.

I am too old to retrain for anything. I'm good at physical things that involve hands on but growing up we were told to get degrees. I've been stuck in administrative roles ever since which pay horribly and you get zero job satisfaction and feel stupid all the time.

I've embarrassed myself so many times at this job now I feel completely demoralized. I'm thinking of just letting them fire me and living off savings until my son is done his first year at university in a few months and not telling him do I don't stress him out.

What's your long term plan then? It sounds like you're in the wrong type of job. Can you work for an employment agency for s bit to try out different types of job? Something more hands on if you think that would suit you better. Not all jobs need training as such. The wages might be lower though so perhaps your living circumstances would have to change. You need some kind of plan that goes beyond quit and live off savings, because they're going to run out. Also why not quit instead of getting fired? Check your contract for how much notice to give, and just resign. At least that looks better on your CV.

Do you have a HR dept? You could check if the company can do anything to help you remain in the job. I think depression is a disability under the Equality Act for work, so reasonable adjustments can be made.

Thanks for your replies. You're the only person I'm talking to about this lol. I don't have a long term plan. Thanks for your kind words though

I'd do some experimenting with jobs. The wrong job feels like hell. The right job is totally doable. Maybe you could manage part time and live in shared housing? Do you own your home? You could rent out rooms and use that money to live on.

Unless your plan is to go on the sick long term and claim universal credit (no shade from me if you're ill enough to qualify), then you need to find some way to earn a living whilst being depressed. If you can't fix the depression you've got to learn to live with it. You've probably got loads of good coping strategies after all this time (if not, learn some), you need a job that doesn't interfere with them too much.

You need a better plan than living off your savings until they run out. That's self-destructive. What's the point of messing up your life? That's not going to make you feel better! Sitting around woe-is-me won't fix your life. Only you can fix it. So get a plan, even a shit one that will need revision along the way is better than nothing. Maybe get signed off sick for some breathing space to think of a plan.

I’m sorry to hear that. I would reach out to your manager about how you’re struggling and your MH. If you’re covered by the equality act for this then they’ll have a duty to consider reasonable adjustments for you so worth going to occ health.
i think now that many people wfh it’s really hard for new starters- could there be something like a buddy /mentor system at work to help you?
like someone already said, you might just be in the wrong job I would definitely consider other types of roles that might suit you more.
Dont be hard on yourself x

It sounds like you haven't been properly trained for your role, and the trouble with working remotely is that learning on the job is 10 times more difficult.

Have you looked at what other jobs are available? Take a look at the job sites with an open mind. Just because this job hasn't worked doesn't mean there isn't a better option out there.

This sounds horrible. Haven’t read all the responses but I wanted to say that I’ve been in a job a year and a half, pretty much remote and i feel useless at it. I find it really isolating and have never wanted to cry so much in a job tbh. I think learning remotely is awful. Just wanted to say you’re not alone in that.

maybe time to have a look around for what else is out there? I’m f admin work is badly paid then maybe there’ll be something a bit more hands on, practical, out there etc that’ll float your boat and make everything feel a bit better x

Late to this, OP, but want to bring my support.

What @Ponderence says is so true. It is very hard to learn a new role and understand a new culture when you are remote. I quit a well-paid career role this year because of this. I've been working more than 30 years, in three different cities in many roles, yet absolutely floundered when thrown remotely into this role with no induction. I tried my best but ended up resigning in despair.

I'm now retraining, and at my next job interview will be asking "Tell me about your induction process. What briefing do you give newcomers before they start the job?"

OP don't leave your job now.

Try getting some time off sick instead. Speak to your GP and tell them you are struggling with your mental health. Use the time to recover a bit and start making plans to find a new job.

It sounds like this is not the right type of jobs for you and you might thrive in a different environment/type of role.

I had a serious breakdown last month and thankfully my GP was wonderful in helping me access support from the mental health crisis team and I am starting to feel more like myself again. She also signed me off work. It gave me time to accept that the roles I have been working in for the past few years are just not a good fit for me so I will also be looking for a change once I am fully recovered.