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Original poster

How do I let this go?

14 replies

promotionangst · 12/10/2023 21:38

Long story short, I went for a promotion last year. A very stressful process. Senior role. I didn’t get it. Informal feedback was that my sponsor “was taxed” - that I was great, but he was being punished. Formal feedback was all positive. The “being taxed” fits with with company culture.

I decided not to put myself through it again.

Since then a couple of people have been brought into the organisation at that higher grade, and they are just awful. Lacking experience, lacking skills, not people I can learn from or look up to. Adding insult to injury I am expected to prop them up.

How do I let this go? It’s winding me up so much that it’s making me physically angry and affecting my sleep.

OP posts:

Primproperpenny · 12/10/2023 21:39

Don’t prop them up. Look elsewhere.

Quitelikeit · 12/10/2023 21:39

Your sponsor was taxed?

whst does that mean? Who was your sponsor? And taxed why?

FawnFrenchieMum · 12/10/2023 21:40

No idea what ‘being taxed’ means but ultimately you let it go by looking for another job elsewhere. You’re unlikely to change how you feel so move somewhere you will be valued.

SausageAndEggSandwich · 12/10/2023 21:41

Just fucking leave

Not worth your time or energy trying to 'get over' it

I would be so resentful being expected to handhold people doing a job I should have got

Beckafett · 12/10/2023 21:42

I don't understand the 'taxed' bit- is it that they would have given you the job but 'couldn't' ?

Original poster

promotionangst · 12/10/2023 21:46

Sorry, to explain … yes they would have given me the promotion, but my sponsor was being put in his place by his peers.

Being a sponsor for someone being promoted at this level is a big deal. The success or failure of the candidate reflects on the sponsor. It’s a power play for one partner to veto the candidate that another partner is sponsoring.

OP posts:

Original poster

promotionangst · 12/10/2023 21:48

Yes, I probably should leave. I thought I could just kick back a bit and coast in the lower grade, but it just doesn’t seem to be in me to do that.

OP posts:

Slav80 · 12/10/2023 21:50

Sounds like too much politics to me, which creates a toxic environment, just play the game whilst you find something else and leave.

Original poster

promotionangst · 12/10/2023 21:56

There’s another employer who are in regular contact with me, offering a role at the higher grade. I could leave pretty much immediately. It would probably do my blood pressure the world of good!

To be honest there is benefit in staying because I could do the job in my sleep, and moving somewhere new is always a risk, but I’m not sure I can take the frustration any more.

OP posts:

Slav80 · 12/10/2023 22:03

promotionangst · 12/10/2023 21:56

There’s another employer who are in regular contact with me, offering a role at the higher grade. I could leave pretty much immediately. It would probably do my blood pressure the world of good!

To be honest there is benefit in staying because I could do the job in my sleep, and moving somewhere new is always a risk, but I’m not sure I can take the frustration any more.

I would go for it, better to learn the ropes of a new job/role/company than propping inept people to do the role that you can do in your sleep and getting paid less presumably?

Setyoufree · 12/10/2023 22:07

In your shoes I would 100% move. You'll go to the right level and where you are at the moment will eat away at you every day. Tax them back :)

Guttedme · 12/10/2023 22:20

promotionangst · 12/10/2023 21:56

There’s another employer who are in regular contact with me, offering a role at the higher grade. I could leave pretty much immediately. It would probably do my blood pressure the world of good!

To be honest there is benefit in staying because I could do the job in my sleep, and moving somewhere new is always a risk, but I’m not sure I can take the frustration any more.

Don’t get stuck in this rut of thinking.

Out of the many jobs this year I’ve had which have been like the past and so a sure thing, (ha ha) the one I’ll be saddest to leave is tomorrow in a kind of foreign industry, just interesting. Picked up more confidence in a week than months spent with my ‘usual type of company’. I honestly dreaded getting up Monday and last Friday felt I was putting on a brave face indeed, now I’m kind of so sad.

Daffidale · 13/10/2023 11:34

promotionangst · 12/10/2023 21:46

Sorry, to explain … yes they would have given me the promotion, but my sponsor was being put in his place by his peers.

This has to be one of the most toxic things I’ve heard . They have blatantly said you are qualified for the role but you’re being punished because they don’t like your sponsor. Awful toxic office politics.

Go take that other job.

If you do stay, get a different sponsor.

Brefugee · 13/10/2023 11:53

promotionangst · 12/10/2023 21:56

There’s another employer who are in regular contact with me, offering a role at the higher grade. I could leave pretty much immediately. It would probably do my blood pressure the world of good!

To be honest there is benefit in staying because I could do the job in my sleep, and moving somewhere new is always a risk, but I’m not sure I can take the frustration any more.

Do it. Don't look back

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