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I am so cr*p at my job

3 replies

Iwanttowantto · 06/10/2023 15:00

Basically because I just can't be bothered. I want to be good, I want to excel, I wish I were different. But every day I start with the best intentions and then just let the day drift away from me. I achieve nothing, I am probably professionally negligent, I just can't make myself. I know people will think I'm being hard on myself, so let me stress: I am definitely not making this up or underestimating myself.

More by luck than judgement the last 3 or so roles I've had have been pretty self directed and lone, so I don't really report to anyone that often. I work at quite a senior level, but don't have anyone 'checking my homework' as it were. As a result I'm definitely less expert than I should be at my age/seniority.

Recently I got a new job fully remote - on this, it's definitely not ideal but I moved overseas and don't speak the language, so there is no way I can work otherwise (also note: lawyer, not qualified in new country and more than just rudimentary knowledge of the language would be required to work in it, I did try looking and didn't even get one interview for an in person job).

I don't think being fully remote necessarily helps me battle my natural hopelessness at getting sh*t done. But, I don't live anywhere near any colleagues. I don't have any friends in my new area yet so I don't have anyone to go and work with for accountability. I could go to a random co-working space, but I have a great set up at home so it doesn't make much sense.

Some hypotheses I have:

ADHD?
Lazy?
Wrong career? [I have a great quality of life so I don't want it to be this]
Depression?
Thyroid?
Perimenopause? early 40s

I'm living really healthily lately and that hasn't really helped. I have short bursts of energy and get loads done and feel great, this has always been the case. This happens at most for one afternoon per week, sometimes evenings. I know I could really do well in life / at this, so why don't I? I have been like this my whole life, absolutely catastrophic waste of any talents I may have.

I think the most likely is that it's ADHD and I need to be in a different career, one ideally where there is hardly any screen time and I have to interact with people face to face. But see above points about language etc. - I would have to take years out of a career to learn a language to then try something new in my mid 40s, meanwhile giving up a great situation/earnings/flexibility just because I can't discipline myself to get my ass in gear.

Is there any hope for me? Has anyone managed to turn this kind of situation around? I have complete flexibility, work in an intereting sector, see my children loads, earn well etc. I am literally not able to make the most of it and seem to be determined to fail.

OP posts:
Cigarettesandbooze · 06/10/2023 23:00

Didn’t want to read and run. Sounds like you’re being quite hard on yourself. Can you try and divide up the day into more manageable chunks with allocated tasks? Would that help?

PimpMyFridge · 06/10/2023 23:03

My friends husband had similar issue, diagnosed ADHD and is having his results from medication. I have heard that medication doesn't suit everyone but it made a massive difference to him. Now he gets stuff done.

PimpMyFridge · 06/10/2023 23:03

Good results that should say

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