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Original poster

Work Stress/Upset

32 replies

Carsarelife · 03/10/2023 19:40

Anyone else feel they are "invisible at work"?

Was working somewhere for 5 years and always felt a bit invisible even though I'm a really good worker. Always turn up on time, not sick etc go above and beyond, friendly and approachable. Didn't get employee of the month for over a year and even though I worked there 5 year only received it twice the whole time. Others seemed to get it just for turning up.

Started a new job and been there 6 months. Never had employee of the month.
A male colleague was given employee of the month today. He's only been there 3 weeks not even for the whole month of September.
I was convinced I was going to get it as received lots of comments and praise lately. Been doing lots extra hours and going above and beyond.
Maybe I try too hard?
It's made me feel really down hearted

OP posts:
Bookwormmumuk · 03/10/2023 19:54

Perhaps you could ask your line managers for some feedback I know you said you've had some good comments but perhaps approaching them asking for some feedback will spur on a good conversation and you could maybe take some learnings away from it.

Original poster
Carsarelife · 03/10/2023 19:59

Yes good idea. At my old job after a year they congratulated me for getting employee of the month and I said jokingly "yes only took me a whole year to get it" they said well you've had it before I know. I said no it's my first time and they said they were really embarrassed that they didn't realise I'd never had it. From then on they started keeping track of who had it and who hadn't to make it fairer I guess. Used to I always be brand new staff that received then they'd leave and someone else would start then they'd receive it and so the pattern continued.

OP posts:
user1471503652 · 03/10/2023 22:00

I can relate to this.

Maybe not in terms of getting awards as such but definitely positive feedback publicly
I have always been the type of worker who gets on with the job, never complaining or causing any bother for higher management when my peers were.

The peers who were always on performance plans or absence management plans would always be the ones to get the public praise.

Honestly I just learn to live with it. It's crap but what can we do.

MinnieMouse0 · 03/10/2023 22:02

Same, I just keep head down and do my work.

It bugs me that the loud ones will always get promoted first, even if they aren’t actually that great.

Original poster
Carsarelife · 03/10/2023 22:05

@user1471503652 yes it's a bit like my Son at school too. Never receives the "reading award" or "worker of the week" as we consistently read every day. I can see now the ones that receive it are mostly the non readers that have to be encouraged to read or read every day for the first time ever.
Seems to me if you're consistent you don't get recognised.

OP posts:
Doyoumind · 03/10/2023 22:18

If you keep your head down, you get ignored. Unfortunately people who do a bit of self promotion are more visible. It doesn't really pay to work hard in the background. I say this as an introvert myself.

user1471503652 · 03/10/2023 22:19

Exactly the same! Now you say that its so similar.

Maybe we should just privately bask in the glory knowing that if it wasn't for us reliable and consistent folks, the company would go to shit.

Lalalirct · 03/10/2023 22:28

It's more about attitude than hard work, unfortunately. If you're too quiet/introvert you'll surely go unnoticed. Sad, but true.

Original poster
Carsarelife · 03/10/2023 22:33

I just think it's a "bit desperate" to give someone employee of the month when they haven't even worked a whole month. I don't mean that in a horrible way.
In my previous job it was a standing thing that every time someone new started then suprise suprise they would automatically get employee of the month. It became no suprise as everyone knew it'd happen.
We had a time where staff would literally come and go so potentially only brand new staff would get it for a whole year

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 03/10/2023 22:38

Agree with others. I'm same OP. I get positive feedback from my team leader. Good results etc. But never had an award when I think every other person there has.
I do get my head down and get on with my work.
So maybe that's it.
Sometimes I do feel a bit what's the point.

Original poster
Carsarelife · 03/10/2023 22:42

I'm wondering whether
A. I should keep moving on until I work somewhere where I'm appreciated.
B. Not be such a people pleaser. When asked to work extra just say no. Just do contracted hours and not go above and beyond.
C. Dont change. Just keep putting up with others getting the awards/bonuses and keep quiet whilst knowing my own worth.

OP posts:
user1471503652 · 03/10/2023 22:54

I think the answer is B.

And i say that as the biggest people pleaser of all time - a constant work in progress. Companies thrive off people like me

When I do a good job I get rewarded... with more work Hmm

workNC · 03/10/2023 22:59

I get it (nc for this)
Half of our team at the minute are utterly shit, to the point customers are noticing
Every day I get compliments from people about how helpful I am and how rude some of my colleagues are. Colleagues come to me to ask for help instead of going to our manager

Do the shit staff get paid less? Nope. I've started telling people to go and ask their manager now instead of me

Also if you get really helpful service from someone please leave a google review with their name! Nothing else gets noticed

Doyoumind · 03/10/2023 23:01

The answer is D. Make yourself more visible. There is no such place as A. Be more confident and people's attitude towards you will change. As PP said, sad but true.

Original poster
Carsarelife · 04/10/2023 06:31

I'm definitely confident and quite chatty but the fact is since I started the job in March - more and more work has been piled on me, been asked to work extra hours to cover staff off sick or holidays or so staff can complete their paperwork that they don't have time to do whilst on shift. Been asked to do work that's not in my contract and basically do "favours"
Every month someone gets employee of the month and it isn't me. Always existing staff that were there before me. Then along comes a new member of staff, only started on Sept 11 (so not even been there a month) and gets given employee of the month .

They know I have children and at times I've had to arrange for them to be picked up etc by someone else so I can stay on longer. I know I'm getting paid for this but not gaining any favour.

I'll get over it, it's just made me feel real miserable and a bit downtrodden

OP posts:
uhtredofbattenberg · 04/10/2023 20:35

Carsarelife · 03/10/2023 22:33

I just think it's a "bit desperate" to give someone employee of the month when they haven't even worked a whole month. I don't mean that in a horrible way.
In my previous job it was a standing thing that every time someone new started then suprise suprise they would automatically get employee of the month. It became no suprise as everyone knew it'd happen.
We had a time where staff would literally come and go so potentially only brand new staff would get it for a whole year

I agree it does seem desperate. Like they're so thankful this man has accepted one of their jobs that they have to suck up to him.

I feel a bit invisible myself at work tbh.

purpleme12 · 04/10/2023 20:37

I get it OP

Notlivinglife · 04/10/2023 21:14

@Carsarelife I could have written this myself. I've been undermined, overlooked, get resting bitch face looks from some cs treated like shit and ignored but I'm definitely resilient! I show up everyday, do the job and don't create drama. Hold up! That's where I'm going wrong! They love loud, wacky people who love the sound of their own f**g voices. I'm not appreciated or respected but I grit my teeth and in my head think of how rewarding it would feel to use them all as punch bags.

Original poster
Carsarelife · 04/10/2023 22:12

@uhtredofbattenberg and I think this is exactly what's happened. We are always short staffed so the existing staff have to pick up the slack. We always advertise too and some don't even turn up for the interview. The ones that do turn up get offered the job 9 times out of 10.
I think they are so happy he took the job that they are trying to show their gratitude. By giving him employee of the month when he only started Sept 11th.
At least let him work a month and get paid ffs.

OP posts:
malificent7 · 05/10/2023 12:42

I think you should try not to let this. " employee of the month" business get you down. Hard I know.

Doyoumind · 05/10/2023 13:20

What does being employee of the month actually mean in your organisation anyway? Why is it so coveted?

MuggleMe · 05/10/2023 13:55

I felt like this when I had my annual review. There is 'achieves' that is the minimum unless you're on a performance plan basically then 2 categories above that which come with a slight bonus.

Despite working hard and getting lots of praise and nothing to improve on, I only got achieves. Well, I stopped busting my gut. I'm still competent and reliable but not pushing myself.

Samesiht · 05/10/2023 14:21

B then A Op. It'll never change. Don't cover their butts anymore. You're too reliable and I'm the same. I'm known as a good worker and I'm fucked off being overlooked. I'm finding people who aren't even good workers are getting promotion. Men particularly. New starts get fist bumped like they're best buddies. Too many bone idle staff get away with murder just because they've got big mouths. Seriously, I'm pulling back and letting the lazy shits get on with it.

Original poster
Carsarelife · 05/10/2023 18:50

@Doyoumind well it just means I guess your hard work has been recognised. If I don't get it I believe my hard work isn't appreciated or being recognised.
Plus you get a £20 voucher and you get to leave a whole hour early on a day of your choice and paid too.
If I didn't work hard I wouldn't care a jot about it.

OP posts:
RaeHitsEbSire · 05/10/2023 19:02

Employee of the month type things don't mean much. I've had them for doing very little more than my job - and not had them when I've busted a gut to achieve something that was a huge success!

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