Work friends/colleagues are they just situational

[Jammylou]

Do you find work colleagues have changed these days.
I find most if not all tend to be situational and they make out you are important to them but as soon as you move on they quickly forget about you.
Ie. When you are moving on/leaving saying we'll go out and do this or do thst then they never bother.
Has completely changed from years ago where people moved on but remained in touch.
It's made me feel like I wsnt to invest far less in work people than i have been.

I think it’s a mix. If it’s a genuine connection then you’ll remain friends.

I had lunch with my old manager today and he left over a year ago, we text frequently and meet up every few weeks. I think we’ll always be friends.

Others have moved on and while we got on, we weren’t “proper” friends and we won’t keep in touch.

I think's always been like that. People move on in no time.

I saw a friend today who I met through work 5 years ago. I was I thought really good friends with another who I'd known for over 10 years, we used to go for lunch, dinner etc. I've not heard from her since our last dinner a couple of weeks after I left. I've messaged a couple of times and they sit unread.

On the other hand I've got two friends from 25 years ago who I met through work. We've been through all sorts together. We've grown up together I suppose and have a special friendship.

My best friend I met through work 23 years ago.

So I think some are but some are genuine and you may find it's not the ones you think would last that do last.

No, I don't think anything has changed. It was ever thus.

Many (most?) people at work are 'friends of a situation' or 'friends of a time', and just occasionally you really gel with someone, and they become much more than a work friend. It's lovely when that happens, but it is only ever a small minority of the people you work with (or play in a team with or wherever else you have become friends with them from).

That is the case now, and it was the case over 40 years ago when I started work. Has been the same in every workplace.

It has always been the case. Sometimes you stay in touch and become close, but it’s not what usually happens. It isn’t vindictive or people being cold, our lives are busy and as we get into our late thirties, and forties, the socialising window is reduced. A reunion every now and then is the best most of us can muster.

It was always like this. You're just a group of people thrown together because you need to earn money. I always consider work relationships translating into genuine friendships to be a massive bonus but not one I'd demand or expect.

That said, some of my closest friends are ex colleagues from different jobs along the way - we don't talk about work anymore!

I agree its always been this way, I have worked for 4 companies over the last 35 years and of the ones I've left I am in touch with quite a few people superficially (LinkedIn, FB etc) but only actually talk regularly and meet up with one or two from each job even if we used to socialise outside work when I was there. My current workplace is small and very close knit compared to the others, we all know all the ins and outs of each others lives but whether we would have enough in common to stay friends if we left I'm not sure. Of those who have left in the last ten years I'm not in touch with any apart from SM or if they come back for the Christmas meal.