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Going back to work

5 replies

Sfrances · 26/09/2023 21:50

Hi all, I've recently returned to work after being on mat leave for 9 months and I'm really struggling with dividing myself between work me and mum me. Is this normal? The old me really loved my job - even if I moaned a little about always feeling swamped - but now I'm a mum a really couldn't care less about it. In my eyes my only priority is my son. I want to throw myself into motherhood wholeheartedly and I feel really cheated that I can't be with my boy (I can't stay at home because of finances). He's really struggled going to nursery and drop off has been horrendous, ending with us both in tears. All I want is to scoop him up and run away so he doesn't have to cry when he needs me. Now I'm back at work I feel pulled in so many different directions, that I don't think I'm able to cope. 4 days of the week I'm mum, 3 days of the week I'm a coworker and I just feel I'm not able to give either "job" my full. I feel guilty when I'm at work for leaving my baby and then when I leave early to pick him up or skip certain duties to breastfeed him during my lunch break, I feel guilty because I don't feel present at work. I guess I'm just trying to figure out if these are normal feelings and if anyone has any advice for dealing with it because it is. So. Hard. Thanks in advance...

OP posts:
bangwhistle · 26/09/2023 22:25

You're finding it hard because it is really, really hard. The hardest thing. But I promise it will get easier. Try to be kind to yourself.

bangwhistle · 26/09/2023 22:25

Oh and this is really normal. I don't know anyone who doesn't feel like this going back after Mat leave

mumof1or2 · 26/09/2023 22:29

Yep I've just gone back to work after maternity leave and feel exactly the same. I feel like I'm not giving anything my best. I have another much older child though, so I know it does get better, even though it feels so hard right now. Doesn't stop me playing the lottery every week though as that would solve all my problems!

Sfrances · 26/09/2023 22:46

Thank you so much. Honestly all I need to hear. Feel as though I can't talk to my partner about it because I'm not sure he quite gets it. Definitely helps hearing that from someone who has experienced it.

OP posts:
Sfrances · 26/09/2023 22:51

Mumof1or2 I've never done the lottery before in my life until the first day I had to leave my little boy 😂 people win right?! Thanks for the kind words ❤️

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