I need advice stressed, overwhelmed and nowhere to turn.

[QueeniePlumtree]

Hi all,

I started working for a company under a year ago, after successfully being interviewed following recommendations from some previous colleagues I'd worked with at my then job of over
10 years. We had been acquired and they'd been made redundant a number of months earlier. I was feeling ready for a new adventure and was sold in this new exciting venture.

Roll forward and it's been the most chaotic and stressful work experience of my life.

The MD is a very hot headed person (understatement).Its a fairly new tech start up, with financial backers and there is no organisation. A handful of contracted staff who are treated poorly, and obviously in states of stress (often admitted in leadership meetings or team catch ups when MD is not around, people in tears, not sleeping/eating etc)

There was no training, no documentation, it was a learn on the job, which I gulped and accepted as feeling I couldn't turn back at the time (personal issues)

My responsibilities are now ridiculous and being piled on day by day. We've won a massive contract, it's huge and lucrative (we currently don't have one particularly happy customer, but I smooth over everything I can and they've come to just appreciate my honesty and the situation but conversations are tough!)

We haven't developed most of the features they believe we have yet and now I've been thrown a massive gauntlet. I don't know where to start, I don't have a team to work with. It's just me siloed out on my own. I don't have any details to go on (it's for onboarding and rolling out a training plan across many sites, UK and overseas including all on site and back office training for teams for several different software and customer platforms).

Plus all the other responsibilities I have that are ever mounting and huge. I can't have a realistic calm conversation as said MD just blows up. We don't have basic product documentation, support teams, support desks. I'm just expected to magic this up and put it all together alone.

I'm so overwhelmed. I feel like I cannot continue. It's starting to really affect my MH and wellbeing, which is not something I usually struggle with. There is HR or anyone else senior to talk too. I don't enjoy it at all. I've recently found out I'm pregnant too and have had an early scan which is not showing the dates I thought. I've suffered late babyloss in the last 14 months and miscarriages previous, so this alone is overwhelming.

My head cannot take all of this I'm feeling so low and I don't know where to turn.

The confident, happy, bright, very strong me is lost and I don't seem to be able to pull her back! I need advice.

Thanks if you read this far! ❤️

Oh dear, poor you. Your MH and your pregnancy is more important than this job. Could you look for another employment or take a career break?

I would be looking for another job if I was you. This sounds unbearable. Good luck on your pregnancy!

OP, I think you know in your heart of hearts that this is a shit-show. Sounds like here you're expected to perform miracles singlehandedly and plug up some un-plugable holes without any structure or realistic timeframes in place. Something like this will make anyone feel exactly the way you feel now - lacking in ability and out of your depth. The MD blowing up is just him trying to deflect from the fact that he is the one incapable of dealing with any of it himself. Do not let any of it make you feel incapable or that this is a case of simply trying 'hard enough'.

Anyone can get sold on a vision or a potential of some venture but that alone is not enough. It's not enough when people lie about what is in place. This is not your responsibility.

Find a new job. Do it without guilt and preserve your mental health. Or at the very least detach yourself as best you can from the outcomes whilst there. But it'd still be better just to find a different job. By the sounds of it almost any job would be better than this one.
And congratulations on your pregnancy!

Start up life can be really shit. And it sounds like you don't have the supporting team atmosphere that can make it anything approaching bearable.

The older & wiser I get, the less I believe anyone who tells me something about their business. It's usually a facade with little depth. I'd take an emotional step back from this role and start looking for something else.

Also need to take my own advice !

This sounds awful. You need to move at the earliest opportunity. Good luck with this pregnancy.

Sounds absolutely crap, unbearable and toxic.

Can you see it getting better any time soon? Any glimmers of hope? If not, run. And don't look back.

I feel you, in a not dissimilar sitch and it’s taken a massive toll on me. I’m still in my probation period and counting down the days til I’m either ousted or hand in my notice.
My advice is get a plan, ANY plan that is remotely acceptable for you to transition out, or hang in there and just try and take it day by day.
huge hugs, and please be kind to yourself it’s too much for any person to deal with that kinda shit.

Unfortunately you joined a badly / barely run organisation and it’s a shitshow. Bosses like that are a nightmare and don’t change. It sounds pretty irretrievable so you’re best getting out for your sanity and health. You’ve done what you can but you can’t fix the problems yourself and the boss is unapproachable? Nah, not worth the stress.

I'd leave if at all possible. A hot-headed ceo and a poorly managed business is never going to be a great place to work.