Severe, out of control work anxiety

[mollymaebae]

Hi
I started a new job earlier this year, things had been going well until a couple of incidents with someone giving me a hard time earlier on (which has now resolved) and I then was asked to some senior duties, however I have to come to the realisation that these were empty promises and it hasn't happened.

Since all of this, my confidence has now taken a major nosedive. I am a mess. I feel sick every day. I spend my days off worrying about everything and can't do much other than stay in bed.

I've tried talking to my line manager about the senior duties but never really got any answers other than I need to be patient and that I'm my own worst enemy sometimes. I go to therapy and I am medicated but nothing is working now.

I feel not good enough and because I am an anxious mess, I think the offer of senior duties was obviously retracted (this hasn't been said to me though). I have been teary a couple of times at work in the last couple of months and I have obviously been letting my anxiety show and confided in a couple of colleagues, which now I am beating myself up over. I am still performing well in my role this is not the issue and I've not had any time off for this and nor do I want to, as I need the routine and me being off work only adds to the worry and anxiety.

I feel like people hate me or don't like me and they think I'm crazy. I second guess every interaction I have at work, did I do the right thing or did I say the right thing. I made the mistake of trying to be friends with people earlier on and I'm now regretting it. I now want to remove them off social media, so I can keep work and private life separate and now feel as though I can't even do that as it will be awkward. I feel like perhaps I've crossed boundaries, even though this is not my intention as I'm a friendly person by nature. I also did message my boss during work hours on social media to ask a work related question on my day off, which I shouldn't have and now I think she thinks I'm crazy. I feel like they all think I'm too much or hard work, or just a mess in general.

I am super aware of my anxiety and I'm trying to take measures to deal with it and know I can only change how I am going forward but I really don't know what to do anymore.

Can anyone provide some advice or strategies to help me deal with this?

Thank you.

Hi @mollymaebae
Firstly congratulations on your new job xx
You're not alone, those anxieties and feelings are felt by alot of people. Work is where we spend half if not more of our time. What you're feeling today will pass, that's the beauty of work, things keep moving on. Get stuck into a piece of work this week as a distraction. Day by day the things that were on your mind will pass. Don't worry about anything, you're doing great xx

Anxiety can make us focus on things that others won't have even noticed. I know I can't trust my own judgement when I'm in an anxious state, I'll make mountains out of molehills and when I've come out the other side, I'll wonder why such a little thing seemed so huge.

Work your way through this anxiety phase. "This too shall pass" is a mantra I cling to when I'm in the midst of it.

If you want to remove someone from social media, just do it. Most platforms don't alert someone so they may not even notice you've done it. Asking your boss a work question during work hours seems perfectly reasonable.

Just keep doing your job and try to stop second guessing everything you do (easier said than done I know). Keep doing your job well and you'll be fine. At the end of the day, doing your job well is all the boss is gonna want to see, how you get on socially with others isn't all that relevant.

Hey mollymaebae, sounds like you're goin' through a tough time. 😔 I've been there too, it's rough. I started using Youper, it's an app that helps with anxiety. It's been a game changer for me. Hang in there! 🙏