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Reference woes

3 replies

MentalBloch · 20/09/2023 10:26

Can anybody give me advice on references? And/or forgive a little self pitying rant?

In a nutshell, I want to get back to work after a long period as a SAHM, and I'm very lucky in that it's because I want to rather than need to. But my confidence is hovering just above zero and I'm trying my best to improve on that!

I saw a job advertised which looked interesting so I read the details to see if I could do it. I was reassured that I could, but the non-negotiable hours wouldn't work so I won't apply. However, reading the reference requirements, which I assume are pretty standard, made me realise I will struggle and I don't know what to do about it. "...two references who can be approached now, one of which must be your most recent employer, friends or family are not acceptable." Sounds reasonable. But disheartening.

My last proper employment was over a decade ago. No one who would remember me will still be there. Would the (large-ish) company even still hold basic info on dates employed etc? And it's hardly relevant now surely, so a bit of an embarrassing option?

I did some paid work a couple of years ago on an ad hoc basis for a family member. He would give me a reference and I suppose no one would have to know the actual (not close) relationship?

About 6 years ago I did some voluntary work for a charity (admin), with skills/future references in mind. I think I was well valued (I won a volunteer award thing), but most of the team I worked for were suddenly made redundant and the rest restructured. It fizzled out in a slightly upsetting way and "my" department no longer exists. I'm sure I wouldn't get a reference out of them.

I did a fair amount of volunteering at dc's previous primary school - reading, general class help etc, ending 3ish yrs ago. There's a new head now and the relevant two teachers have left.

Maybe I'm being defeatist and it's my low confidence talking. I know I'm not catch of the century for employers with my unimpressive CV, but these are very basic low paid admin type jobs we're talking about. I'm degree educated, not completely devoid of skill and have always been valued and successful wherever I've worked so I hope I have something to offer. This is the first time I've really considered how big an issue references could be - I will struggle to rustle up two even though I know it's a reasonable ask. Any advice would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:
Refereeme · 20/09/2023 16:00

I would not worry about it just yet, this is one job and you are not applying for it anyway. Other companies will have different requirements and asking for two referees in advance is pretty unusual.

Most companies will not pursue references until after they have made a job offer and at that point, they have decided that they want you and will work with you to get the documentation they need.

Regarding my user name, I had a similar issue earlier this year. I had been out of the workplace, although not for as long as you and as well as that my issue was also around they type of reference they wanted as it was a job with children, so they needed somebody to comment on that specifically. I thought I would never get it done, but as mentioned, they wanted me to be able to get the paperwork and made suggestions to help.

MentalBloch · 22/09/2023 07:22

Thank you for the reassurance. I'm glad it worked out ok for you! I think I just need to take it on a case by case basis and trust that this is not an uncommon issue.

OP posts:
NotThoseKindOfEggs · 23/09/2023 08:46

If it’s clear for your CV that you’ve been a SAHM, not having a recent employer reference would be perfectly understandable.

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