Friends/Colleagues

[sparklestar4]

Hello,

Recently my workplace made some redundancies that affected 2 of my close colleagues. I was safe.

We had always been close and worked close together, and sometimes met up outside of work once every 4 months, however communication seems be next to none now.

The messages, the likes on social media etc are non existent even though I like and comment on all their posts.
It makes me feel like I've done something wrong and incredibly guilty for still having my job.

I thought they was genuine friendships but now I'm questioning whether it was just a "colleague" relationship.

I get communicating is a two way street but I've contacted them both each time & they never reach out to me first. do I just leave it and assume that there is no "friendship"?

Yes, stop chasing them.

It's a situationship. You are friends, comrades and a support system at work and socialise outside of work, but once you leave the situation you don't have the common tie any more.

Stop chasing them !

This is harsh, but if they wanted to continue the relationship into friendship they'd have contacted by now. I don't think it is genuine friendship on their part.

So many people make the mistake of thinking that their colleagues are genuine friends. In the majority of cases the professional workplace politeness and faux interest in co- workers lives seldom becomes anything more.

In my opinion do not mix up colleagues with real friends . It is rarely a recipe for happiness!

Exactly this.

They've been made redundant. You (fortunately) haven't.

I've been in that position, a long time ago now. Really close friendship group, I was the only one made redundant (we had different roles).

In my case, we stayed in touch but it was different. They still had their jobs & felt awkward about it; I was pregnant and redundant & going through an enormously stressful time. It was hard.

Leave it be. There might be an opportunity to reconnect, there might not.

Yes sorry OP - this is true I'm afraid. I had to discover this for myself in my working career.

Also there may well be some underlying anger that they were made redundant and you weren't...🌹

Each reply is the reply I needed to read, harsh or not.

My life isn't affected either way, I'll leave it be.

Are you contacting them out of survivor guilt?

https://www.xperthr.co.uk/commentary-and-insights/redundancies-how-to-manage-the-survivor-syndrome/74276/

They don't want contact, for whatever reason. Stop chasing.

Absolutely. I have gone through this myself though very different situation. Previous line manager who I became very close to whilst working, I was promoted to same level as her all of a sudden stopped contact went cold in me. Hurt like mad. Still in same company so occasionally see her on meetings, she majes zero effort yet was telling me (when I worked for her,) I was a friend for life.
Bloody hurts.
Can only assume I was a friend of convenience.

They’ve lost their jobs and you haven’t. Not your fault obviously but can you genuinely not thing of a reason why they might struggle to stay in contact with you?