Crying at work?

[BoyMamma2]

So I write this as I have a cry in the toilets. I love my job. However over the last few years we have become critically short staffed and I’m now doing 3 times the work. It’s a small legal team so important deadlines etc and can be quite stressful.

A lot of work needs to be signed off by my manager before progressed but she can’t time mange. Yesterday I need papers to be in and she kept ignoring my calls. Finally she called me back and she’s in Starbucks! This wasn’t lunch time btw - and the Starbucks is at least a 30 min drive from her house.
Today I sent her a list of my cases and just got a email back telling me not to email her again and I will be “spoken” to! I was trying to help her by having one email rather than 20. I’m constantly getting it from clients as I’m waiting for her. Actually considering signing off sick.
the whole team are job searching but it’s a struggle as I’m part time and we’re quite a small town :(

Sounds stressful. Not criticising, but if the email containing all of your cases were peoples names, it would be a GDPR issue.

But, I would suggest that is a different issue and you could do with a workload chat 💐

it was an internal email and we use an encryption service so no GDPR issues

Why would internally communicating about client cases be a GDPR issue?

Is there anyone else in the organisation you can discuss this with?

Hi @BoyMamma2
Bless you hun, hope you're ok. I've cried a few times at some really stressful jobs. You're doing your best, today was a crappy day but it's made you stronger to take on tomorrow, you got this 💪, but always know you can take time off sick due to work related stress. Continue looking for another job, i really hope you get a better job soon xx

If you e mail your manager with a list of your cases that's not a GDPR breach. It's only a breach if the names go to someone not involved with the cases.
I suggest requesting a meeting with her and her line manager and outlining the issues.

In my experience of a 40 year career in some senior position, I cried only when frustrated. Sheer frustration of trying to do right thing and being knocked back. I think it comes becuase I’m passionate about getting the job done and when blocked by something not in my control, it just stresses me out .

an interesting study done years ago, disputed the fact that senior managers have more stress than low paid workers. Study done across all levels of civil service. They found the most stressed workers were those that had responsibility but no authority . Irrespective of level of Individuals. In other words not being in control of their own ability to perform the work and get the job done causes stress to anyone

crying is your stress relief valve- but the valve will only work for a while and comes at a cost. You need to talk seriously with your manager about how she can fix this or you’ll end up going off work with stress.

my advice is to start a crucial conversation with her. Start on common ground- you both want happy clients, you both would prefer to not have to be constantly interacting. You feel (make sure you say everything as “I” or “me” not “you” statements), that you’re causes her issues, can she help you to work out a way of working that will allow you to complete your work but meet her needs too.

Thanks all. The issues really are top downs I’ve left early with a banging headache. It’s poor leadership and time to move on. Shame as I’ve been there 14 years .

You need to arrange and 1-2-1 and tell her the issues and impact on your work.

It's always difficult when your manager is the issue. From your description, she doesn't sound like she's going to be receptive if you try and raise concerns about how you and your colleagues are being treated.

If it was me, I'd go in with some solutions as a way of getting your issues heard. I would map out the work that needs to be done, the processes that have to be followed and whether anything could be done differently. Can approval for certain things be streamlined or removed completely given the staffing situation? Are there any steps that are good to have in an ideal world but could be skipped without creating too much risk? Sometimes there's a middle ground between best practice and what's actually feasible. I would frame it as "I know everyone is under pressure with the staffing issues, I've been thinking about some things we could do to relive the pressure and to make things easier for you (the manager)". If she's given solutions that dance around her ego, she might be more receptive. It's always painful to pander to bad behavior but sometimes it's worth it for your own wellbeing.

The more direct approach is "here's what's expected and here's what capacity we realistically have, something has to give so choose" but that can be confrontational with the wrong personality type.

There's also the chance that no reasonable solutions work and you have to consider whether you can cope with it or whether you need to move on. I get that might not be easy in a small town. It's always the risk with smaller places when it only takes one bad personality to ruin the whole environment.

Sorry you're having to deal with this. I hope it gets better.

Can't you work a little further out?