Wishing the ground would swallow me up

[WorldSwallowMeUp]

I had an awful meeting yesterday (virtual meeting). I was meant to lead the meeting and was prepared.

But the main person concerned didn't show up which essentially made the meeting pointless. While someone had invited a few other people to join without telling me.

I was scrambling trying to figure out who everyone was and why they were were, while trying to contact the main person to gauge if they would show up at all. I somehow just crumbled. I didn't manage to pivot or style it out, it was all really embarrassing.

I still can't shake the feeling a day later, they must all think I'm awkward and useless and I never want to show my face again. I can still picture all of them staring at me expectantly and me getting so anxious having no idea where to go from there.

Help! How do I forget/move on/do better next time?

Aww I don’t understand why people make it more uncomfortable by just staring at a person struggling- I’d at last make some polite conversation.
you sound like me though… I’d replay it back in my mind over and over for days cringing…
hope the person that didn’t show apologised!

Please put it out of your mind, OP.

I can't tell you how many times meetings have gone awry in a similar manner over the last 3 years. I couldn't begin to recall the unfortunate convenor beyond feeling sorry for them that these things happen for all sorts of reasons.

The only thing you can do is learn from it. In future if that situation occurs

1. Ask for a role call to clarify who everyone is and what remit they cover. Ust explain that you are aware it's been forwarded on to a few additional invitees so just for everyone's benefit.

1. If the main person you need is not there just close the call early on the basis you do not have the necessary quorum to continue. Advise you will reach out to the missing person and re schedule to an alternative. People will just be happy you haven't wasted anymore time and given them a slot back.

The feeling will stick for a bit but you have at least learned from it!

Thank you so much all, it's making me feel a bit better already. I'm usually good at my job (I think!), I just struggle with anxiety and confidence so these situations are always a bit nerve wracking for me. I usually compensate by being super prepared, but there were just too many spanners thrown in today.

@slipperypenguin yes number 1 is the obvious thing to do and what every normal person would have done. I was just overthinking wondering if I was supposed to know who they were and it would seem bad I didn't, or if it would make them feel unwelcome. I will definitely have some stock phrases in my head ready for next time.

I did try to do number 2, but a few people tried to be helpful and chipped in, so the conversation carried on (which only prolonged my agony, and I just about kept it together until the end).

Ahhh I feel sick recalling it.