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So I went back to work and I totally love it, but now I feel guilty for not liking being a SAHM more...someone please slap me!!

14 replies

theUrbanDryad · 03/03/2008 18:53

Why am I beating myself up for making what is very obviously the right decision? I love being back at work, ds loves being at nursery, i'm not shouty horrible mummy on the 2 days i'm at home with him, and we're financially better off? So why do I feel guilty?

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FrannyandZooey · 03/03/2008 18:55

I don't know, why do you? Have you got nasty lingering doubts about something? it all sounds pretty good to me - would it help to say more specifically what is eating at you?

RubyRioja · 03/03/2008 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theUrbanDryad · 03/03/2008 19:00

Franny - i think when i was pg and when ds was very little and the perfect baby (up till about 17 weeks) i loved being at home, and it was all perfect and i was doing duets with bluebirds. and then he started needing more attention, and i actually had to do stuff with him, rather than just cart him round in the sling, and then we moved and i felt so isolated and crap that going back to work was a real relief because i was desperate for some adult company.

i think i feel guilty because i want to enjoy being a SAHM, but when i'm at home with ds full-time i get stressed out, and i hate my house, and ds is demanding and i'm so crap at things like feeding him (and me).

(and breathe...)

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FrannyandZooey · 03/03/2008 19:00

Oh Ruby

when ds started nursery I felt some vague but undeniable guilt for quite a while

I think the instinct to keep our children near is very strong, for obvious reasons, and when we go against it, even for very sound and practical reasons, it takes a bit of adjustment?

FrannyandZooey · 03/03/2008 19:02

perhaps you will enjoy the at home bits more when you find your balance
I don't think anyone enjoys being at home 24 hours a day 100% through all the stages of their children's life
you may enjoy it more again when they are older, for instance
meanwhile do what seems best all round - that would be the perfect thing to do, wouldn't it?

RubyRioja · 03/03/2008 19:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theUrbanDryad · 03/03/2008 19:07

Franny - i love being at home when i am at home, because i know i'm going back to work and we do stuff, we actually play together and go places and have fun. but why can't i do that when i'm at home with him full time?

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Quattrocento · 03/03/2008 19:15

slap

theUrbanDryad · 03/03/2008 19:18

thank you

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Cloudhopper · 03/03/2008 19:19

I am completely on your wavelength urbandryad. I love work, we are better off, the kids love/prefer nursery, i love my day off each week with them.

Life as a SAHM turned me into a miserable, unconfident prozac-popping recluse (must stress that this was clearly just me - not a judgement on SAHM-dom as a whole)

In fact, life as a WOHM for me is like some kind of Julie Andrews film compared to the alternative.

But I do have the same guilt as you about preferring it this way. It's as if there is something missing in me - why am I not a 'true woman/mother'? Why can't I do it? And I agree with Franny that there is some kind of natural instinct not to be away from the children when they are small, which gives you a niggling feeling that there is something wrong.

So my way of justifying it is as follows:

If I lived in a society/community near my family with friends, parents, neighbours, relatives nearby who also had children, then I would probably enjoy it.

But in an atomised modern society where we don't even really know the neighbours, let alone many other people locally, I found it very isolating to spend so much time in the house alone (with the children).

I;m not entirely sure I am convinced by this, but it works for me!

theUrbanDryad · 03/03/2008 19:23

Cloudhopper - i think your theory is bang on tbh. i enjoyed being a SAHM much more where we lived before as my mum was just around the corner and we had good friends all around us. but when we moved here i didn't meet anyone for ages and felt very isolated.

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Cloudhopper · 03/03/2008 19:31

And men work and travel long hours away from the home. I think you need the community - work is the only way to link into human life!

When mum was a SAHM in the village I grew up in, we would go out for a walk every day and she would know every single person that walked past and chat. If I did that here, the men in white coats would not be far behind.

cmotdibbler · 03/03/2008 19:38

I felt guilty when I went back to work that I didn't feel guilty about going back to work.

Never really expected to enjoy being at home all the time though - I love my job, and have never been good at not having lots of mental stimulation.

Guilt is a default setting for women I think !

Ripeberry · 03/03/2008 20:33

I've just given up my job as a home carer, although the work was hard and tiring i did enjoy it and it got me out of the house for a few hours in the evening and out of putting the kids to bed!
But DH did not like me doing it at all and just became very sulky and started to make it difficult for me to carry on.
We've reached a conprimise, and once DD2 is at school in 2yrs time then i'll stay as a SAHM but in the meantime i'm going to do some voluntuary work and maybe some cash in hand domestic cleaning just so that i can meet some people.
Problem is that my DH likes me to be around as much as possible and be able to go away for trips and suchlike at the drop of a hat.
Last year when i was working we did not go away at all.
But at least with home care i can choose my hours and go back to it when circumstances change.
AB

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