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Am I being too sensitive

6 replies

Jammylou · 10/09/2023 19:49

Recently moved line managing a team.
Their previous line manager was internally promoted in the same organisation.
She is a lovely lady and was popular in the team however I feel she has had trouble letting go and she remains on things such as team chats.
Recently a couple of team members had a minor spat on the teams chat nothing too bad so I just encouraged them to get on and agree to resolve.
She too commented on the chat about getting along.
It is starting to annoy me that she is still interfering and commenting on the team chat.
She also comes and sits with us in the office even though her new role is in a completely different area.
I feel this isn't allowing me to be identified as their Manager.
Am I being too sensitive.
I've tried to give her time to let go but she is still commenting on the team chat.
She is a nice lady so I don't want to upset her by saying do you mind leaving the team chat.
How can I handle this ?

OP posts:
youveturnedupwelldone · 11/09/2023 06:28

Can't you remove her from the team chat? That's what we do when people leave.

I imagine she is still sitting with her old team because it's familiar - or maybe she likes the view, the lights etc, there's lots of reasons.

Instead of focussing on her, focus on what you've done yourself to make sure you are being identified as the team leader. After all - you ARE the team leader!

How long has it been since she left/you joined the team? Generally people "let go" as they get more into their new role.

Also is she interfering in work matters or is it just sitting with you and contributing to team chats? If she's intervening in work things I'd have a quiet word with her.

Jammylou · 11/09/2023 17:32

She has made the odd comment on work matters but mostly she is just being courteous.
I think I will see how it goes and it may lessen its been about a month now.

OP posts:
nevynevster · 11/09/2023 17:32

Just remove her !

Ascendant15 · 11/09/2023 17:43

nevynevster · 11/09/2023 17:32

Just remove her !

Don't.

You are a leader. So lead. Speak to her and tell her that whilst you have appreciated the support during the transition period, you now need to have the space to create and develop relationships with your team, so you would like her to let you get on with it. If she doesn't back off, then you put it politely in writing. If that doesn't work you speak to your line manager.

Blocking her on Teams doesn't stop her walking in the office or interfering, and looks like a cowardly way of drawing boundaries. If you don't act assertively then the team will never respect you.

nevynevster · 11/09/2023 17:54

Ascendant15 · 11/09/2023 17:43

Don't.

You are a leader. So lead. Speak to her and tell her that whilst you have appreciated the support during the transition period, you now need to have the space to create and develop relationships with your team, so you would like her to let you get on with it. If she doesn't back off, then you put it politely in writing. If that doesn't work you speak to your line manager.

Blocking her on Teams doesn't stop her walking in the office or interfering, and looks like a cowardly way of drawing boundaries. If you don't act assertively then the team will never respect you.

It's not a block. Removing people just takes them off that chat.
It's good security practice to remove people from Teams chats that they are no longer part of. Teams gives you access to Sharepoint and therefore documents that are shared there are accessible to everyone on the Teams chat/channel. It's just simply good housekeeping to make sure everyone on the chat is actually part of that team and should have access.
This woman is no longer in the team and should be removed.
Many organisations would implement this automatically!

Ascendant15 · 11/09/2023 18:09

nevynevster · 11/09/2023 17:54

It's not a block. Removing people just takes them off that chat.
It's good security practice to remove people from Teams chats that they are no longer part of. Teams gives you access to Sharepoint and therefore documents that are shared there are accessible to everyone on the Teams chat/channel. It's just simply good housekeeping to make sure everyone on the chat is actually part of that team and should have access.
This woman is no longer in the team and should be removed.
Many organisations would implement this automatically!

I am aware of that. And don't disagree with any of that. But it does not address the OPs problem, and it doesn't stop her coming and sitting in the office. I may be invited to Teams meetings, or on the invite list. If I'm not "needed" then I remove myself. I suspect you would too. This person may be lovely, but she is interfering in someone's job, and the OP needs to assert her authority, or she will never have any.

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