Getting back to work after dc

[Shavaa93]

Hi everyone, looking for some opinions on how I’m feeling.

backstory, when I was studying for my degree in university I worked a part time job (this was an in-industry role working in the field I was studying for so was an amazing opportunity). I then became pregnant with twins in my last year, graduated, went on maternity leave from the job but didn’t go back to work after as it was very full-on with twins and I did 95% of the physical raising myself with no help.

fast forward now they are in full time school. I need to get back to work. I want to get back to work but I have no clue what I want to do. The degree I studied was pretty much pointless and the job that I wanted back then would not work now as I’m a mother. (I didn’t really think it through when I chose my course).

I have set up a little self employed business in my field of study, where I can do some work from home. However, it’s very touch-and-go and haven’t had any clients recently. I do a very part time admin role too which is work from home.

my dp has constantly been on my case about re-skilling in something else. He’s always frustrated me with that as he doesn’t realise how hard it is raising kids and then getting a job. Last night he questioned me again on what I would like to do and told me I need to re-skill, find what I would like to do and do a course (2 years-ish) which he will help fund me along and make sure it’s something that will guarantee me a job at the end.

as much as he is trying to help me, it is just stressing me out because I genuinely have no clue what I want to do. I was young when I had the dc and my mind has been 100% mum-mode for the past 6 years I don’t know myself anymore and don’t know at all what I’m interested in.

I don’t want to waste any more time as I’m late 20’s now and have absolutely nothing to show for myself. No career or savings. But I have no idea where to start. I don’t know what courses can guarantee a job after completion or how to even go about finding anything.

my brain is basically fried since becoming a mother! Any advice welcome

Have a look at the Mature Study and Retraining board.

There are lots of threads addressing exactly these issues!

Thank you for this! Will take a look.

I should have added that I actually don’t want to study. I literally have 0 interested in studying or going to uni/doing another course (unless it’s something shortish that gets me where I need to be).

i feel like my only opportunity to get a good career is to do a course and reskill (as dp has stated). I spent many years studying and it’s just not for me, at this stage of my life I just want to work and make money but realistically I know it isn’t always that simple

the job that I wanted back then would not work now as I’m a mother.

What job doesn’t work with being a mother?

I mean going into my degree, I was very hopeful and had big dreams. I wanted to start travel/documentary photography (not something I could do with kids). Art in general is a tricky field and can be inconsistent. I then settled into family portraiture which is great but many studios have shut down now. People mostly work for themselves, which I began to do, but being self-employed and the uncertainty of not being able to get consistent clients makes it unreliable.

I don’t want to waste any more time as I’m late 20’s now and have absolutely nothing to show for myself.

i disagree. You should pause and make a considered informed decision rather than rushing into something else that is wrong for you and potentially wasting time on dead ends.

You have another forty years until state retirement age. I think you have time to make a good decision.

What kind of 2-year course does your partner have in mind?

And what is it you see yourself doing if you don't want to do any studying or courses at all? What are your goals?

This is where I am struggling. I have NO clue! I don’t know where to start. All I know is I want to be able to raise my kids but I also need a career where I can build a good future for them and save.

my dp just mentions doing a course that will last around 2 years, will guarantee me a job at the end etc such as being hired by a company that I do a course with. I don’t know if these even exist but he is constantly talking about it. He just tells me I need to decide what it is I am interested in first. He tells me whether it’s paralegal, childcare, accounting etc. do a course that will get me that role at the end so I’m making atleast 30k.

I did some research last night and looked into Nursing. Midwifery was always something I was interested in doing but I know it’s a hard course to get on. I really like the idea of working in hospitals with children so I was looking into Children’s Nursing. You HAVE to have a degree for that and I don’t know if I can face 3 years of full time studying. I’m not good at studying at all and while being a mother my head is always everywhere. Besides this the intake for this year has JUST closed and I’d have to wait till next September :/

are there any other routes to getting into healthcare with children? I don’t necessarily want to be at the top, I’d be happy to do a shorter course and work under the nurses/doctors etc.

im really unsure

Nursing apprentiships are becoming more common, they offer more of a balance and of course you get paid whilst doing it. You could try and get a job as a HCA as invariably Trusts offer apprentiships from within and you'd be able to see if you enjoy it.

Another option would be a government funded short course, many are delivered online and although you aren't guaranteed a job they give you a decent chance as they're in shortage sectors:

https://skillsforlife.campaign.gov.uk/courses/skills-bootcamps/

Or of course an entry level role in a local authority or the civil service that offer flexi and are quite family friendly with chances to progress.

Agree that an apprenticeship is probably better. You can get a job and train alongside which gives a much better balance. I think it's something like 6 on the job hours a week so not horrendous at all.

I’d also look at apprenticeships so you can earn while you study. Many offer flexibility.
Also, not to be harsh, but there is no reason why you can’t work and still be a good mother. Millions do and are.
your DP is right to encourage you to find a career. I’m not sure he’s right you need to go back to university though.

Thanks for this everyone!

just doing some more research and came across maternity support worker which is something I’d be very interested in. They offer apprenticeships to get into it.

then I remember why I was put off this before… the role can include evening, night, weekend and early shifts and the apprenticeship required you to work alternate weekends.

my dp works 7 days a week and is not home until the evening on weekends. I don’t really have family that could watch my dc. I’d have to pay a childminder (do they even work weekends?!). It’s hard, how would I get the dc ready for school if I’m working night shifts? Or get them to bed in the evening if I’m working evening shifts? This is why I was put off this last time I looked into it.

I know I need to find something I’m interested in but I also need to find something that’s practical while raising my kids