Bullying - what’s the point in raising a grievance?

[MargsMargsMargs]

A coworker (who is far more senior than me and I report into on some projects) has been behaving in a way that I have realised constitutes bullying for the last year. Let’s call her Jane.

Broadly, she is repeatedly finding issues with my work and raising it with my boss and senior leaders in our organisation. She often twists the truth. Sometimes, she outright lies. I have written proof of this.

For example, I might tell her we’ve run out of apples so I won’t be able to make apple juice today. I’ve checked the apple cupboard and there are no apples - only oranges. She will then tell me that there are apples and she’s disappointed that I’ve not made any juice, copying the whole senior leadership team. She will then go on a long diatribe about how everyone knows that oranges can actually become apples, so I should have made this work with oranges anyway.

My boss fully supports me and recognises Jane is difficult. However, it’s reached a point where I’m worried about my reputation within the wider organisation. Jane is influential in her department. Her emails are so long and numerous that I worry people will believe them! Senior leaders obviously don’t have time to keep eyes on the detail.

I am wondering if I need to raise a grievance and actually say the word “bullying” to my manager.

However, is doing this and maybe even formally taking this to HR actually going to help?

Ultimately, I want it put on record by an independent person that Jane’s complaints about me are not accurate.

Day to day, I want to be able to do my job without being hassled and demeaned.

While my manager has been emotionally supportive and reassured me he’s paying no attention to these comments, he has not actually taken steps to challenge Jane.

Read your company's HR policies carefully. Understand what can actually be done (hint: usually not much).

Consider joining a union.

And, start job searching, brush up CV, build up a picture of the job market etc and start making moves to get out of there.

Sorry you're having to go through that.

If your manager has not challenged Jane despite saying he supports you, it's unlikely he's going to.

A union is a good idea, at mine, you can't use anything that's happened before joining the union. So keep the records you have but you'll need to reraise the issue with your manager for the union to be able to support

If Jane has influence, it's going to be difficult to change people's opinion but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Always worth having a back up though

I am going to tell you the absolute answer to this.

You have a manager problem, not a Jane problem. It’s no good your manager not doing anything about it, no matter how sympathetic they are. If your manager thinks you’re being over-sensitive, they should tell you.

So… what does your manager’s manager think? He or she is the most influential person in your life at work. I’d suspect they’re not bothered. And anyone who’s senior enough to get something done, but doesn’t, probably isn’t going to help you, assuming, that is, that they know what’s going on.

What does your manager’s manager make of this do you think?

This. Shit managers - no matter how nice they are - letting this stuff slide, allow people like Jane to thrive. She needs hard checking by management above her and her reach minimising asap.

My manager’s manager has used the word bullying in relation to this person’s behaviour and has encouraged me to ignore it. However, I have asked if she can do something and she has not. I will be asking again.

100% this. Look for another job and get out. My manager was “supportive” but didn’t do anything, her manager was “supportive” and threw resilience training at me. I’ll not go into the details but I’m just recovering from the horrendous situation raising a grievance caused. And I’m the one in a new job with shattered self esteem. I wish I’d just left when my mental health and confidence were good

Is it just your work she complains about? I'm guessing not - and that your senior bosses recognise her emails for exactly what they are.

Disappointed in the managers here- they know this behaviour is going on yet turn a blind eye and tell you to ignore it. No. They need to grow a pair and deal with this as a conduct issue.

I've just raised a grievance against two co-workers who have been bullying me for around four years.

I've spent those four years hoping that keeping my head down and being nice would get a change in their attitude. It's rarely anything big, but just petty little rubbish. My line managers were aware, but everything was hard to prove and so I kind of accepted. The example OP gives is exactly the sort of thing I've been getting with wide eyes assurances that of course they said there were apples in the cupboard, and if, by a pure accident they might have possibly said something that I wrongly took to mean that, then surely I shouldn't have taken little their word for it and checked themselves-having made sure they had the only cupboard key so I couldn't. Then replacing the cupboard key and of course they never had it, I must have no looked properly...

Then something happened that was bigger and there was proof. Actually it was so much bigger when I described it to ACAS they said there was no doubt that it was gross misconduct on one of their accounts.
So I requested a meeting and asked my line managers to take it further-the first time I had done so.
And, they wiped the sweat off his brow, told him they were sure it was an accident, and don't worry, what he wanted to would go ahead even though he shouldn't have done it.

So I've raised a grievance. I don't think the management are very happy and I know they're totally out of their depth.

It's stressing me out (don't like confrontation), but I am determined to go ahead (they did ask me to withdraw it) even though it will probably just end with me leaving because:

1. I am making a point that it isn't just one little episode. I have over 100 individual points where I am pretty certain were done deliberately to be nasty. Most aren't provable. Some I can provide with an email I sent smoothing over the situation, which isn't good enough to be proof, but can show something happened.
2. I'm actually pretty annoyed that the first time I asked them to do anything, they didn't listen. I've had several meetings with them assuring me that they'll listen and do something.
3. By doing it, I am making it not necessarily public, but others will know. They're very much about their public image, so might well stop them in their tracks. I suspect not, and it will just drive it more underground, but the more people who are aware, the better.
4. The next person that comes in will have a choice to either kowtow to them completely or will be treated the same way. So I'm protecting them too.
5. I'm also representing the other people who have left due to their bullying.

I don't think I'll win, but I'll jolly well going to make them uncomfortable in the trying.

Hi Op
I would get advice from union . Has Jane got previous ? Have a good think about what you want the solution to be and see what your union says.

Ps I would look for a new job

Hey everyone

Thanks so much for your advice and to those who have had similar experiences or are going through grievances- I hope you are ok. How’s it going?

My boss hasn’t done anything to resolve this yet. I have spoken to my union and they said to raise a grievance. I’m not happy with this approach as I don’t want the grief of that.

Boss is saying they will do something in a few weeks, so it’s not a ‘no’ but frustrating it’s taking so long.

Do I have any sort of legal protection if I don’t raise a grievance?

Would appreciate any thoughts.

From a legal perspective, if you don't raise a grievance and see how that plays out, you will have no chance of success with a constructive dismissal claim.

The only other legal protection that springs to mind is that you could sue Jane for defamation regardless of whether you raise a grievance. However, if you aren't happy to raise a grievance, you won't want the stress of a defamation case.

Your union is right. You should raise a grievance. If you don't, you are accepting the bullying. Your only other option is to leave.

Thank you!