How to play off kissing a new colleague

roundaboutflo · 2023-09-01T19:52:57+00:00

I'm due back off mat leave soon and I'm a bit nervous about how I'm going to approach this situation. A month ago there was a work party I attended where I met my new colleague who I'll be working close with on a market (it will just be the 2 of us atm as far as I'm aware) although I'll be in an office with about 30 others. At this party a (few) drinks were had and we ended up kissing and touching each other he asked if I wanted to go back to his and I had a moment of sense and said no (thank god) however on my drunken stupidly I went to my other colleagues and told them I'd kissed him Now it is what it is and we're far from the only people at work to have kissed so I care less about others think but I don't want it to be weird between us if we have to work together how would you style this out?

NashvilleQueen · 01/09/2023 21:10

Are either of you married or in a relationship?

Original poster

roundaboutflo · 01/09/2023 21:10

NashvilleQueen · 01/09/2023 21:10

Are either of you married or in a relationship?

No neither of us are

OP posts:

NashvilleQueen · 01/09/2023 21:11

Right well it was a bit of drunken silliness and no harm done. As you say others will have done far worse. Laugh it off and then will soon move on.

ToughFuss · 01/09/2023 21:13

Ignore it, carry on as tho it never happened. Drunken shenanigans, least said soonest mended (altho you did nothing wrong!)

Stratocumulus · 01/09/2023 21:13

Just be bold and pretend it never happened. It’ll soon be forgotten.
Least said, soonest mended.
Lessons learned and as you now realise, could have been a lot more for you to regret!

TheGoodBanana · 01/09/2023 21:14

I would brazen it out, don't mention it and if he brings it up just laugh it off and say you were both drunk and it you hope it won't affect your professional relationship.

daisychain01 · 02/09/2023 06:48

you need to stop drinking for any future work functions if that's how you behave. This is work, not speed dating. I know this sounds judgemental, but for good reason - you're already in the most vulnerable work situation that a woman can be in at a time when job security is at an all time low (having a baby and Mat leave is the hotspot for employers to try to get rid of women). If you care about your job and your reputation, put this down to experience but also recognise you need to change your behaviour so your employer doesn't find an excuse to sack you, and believe me it isnt discriminatory to sack someone for behaving inappropriately.

and to add - the new colleague is also equally vulnerable with no substantial employment rights, that the employer could capitalise on if they chose to, to get rid of them.

grass321 · 02/09/2023 07:25

Daisychain01 you must have worked at very different places to me. I worked in investment banking which was like a posh version of Wolf in Wall Street (minus the drugs).

Having a drunken kiss at an office party wouldn't have touched the sides. One colleague had a moment of passion with another in our (very communally located) disabled loo. On the first night of our company bonding week away, our CEO and others jumped into the pool naked. (And for some unknown reason they paid for a professional videographer to record the week). Partying was very much par for the course when you finally got out of the office.

I'm not saying any of this is exemplary behaviour but lots of people enjoy a drink and letting their hair down at the office party. That's also ok.

Original poster

roundaboutflo · 02/09/2023 08:34

daisychain01 · 02/09/2023 06:48

you need to stop drinking for any future work functions if that's how you behave. This is work, not speed dating. I know this sounds judgemental, but for good reason - you're already in the most vulnerable work situation that a woman can be in at a time when job security is at an all time low (having a baby and Mat leave is the hotspot for employers to try to get rid of women). If you care about your job and your reputation, put this down to experience but also recognise you need to change your behaviour so your employer doesn't find an excuse to sack you, and believe me it isnt discriminatory to sack someone for behaving inappropriately.

and to add - the new colleague is also equally vulnerable with no substantial employment rights, that the employer could capitalise on if they chose to, to get rid of them.

Honestly my boss will not care we are all in our 20s in my office in fact he's the oldest at 30 and he quite often gets so drunk on nights out he ends up on the floor. Also a number of work colleagues have slept together and this just gets joked about in the office by him. I'm not saying that's a good thing I'm just saying it's not the sort of work environment to care

OP posts:

Original poster

roundaboutflo · 02/09/2023 08:36

grass321 · 02/09/2023 07:25

Daisychain01 you must have worked at very different places to me. I worked in investment banking which was like a posh version of Wolf in Wall Street (minus the drugs).

Having a drunken kiss at an office party wouldn't have touched the sides. One colleague had a moment of passion with another in our (very communally located) disabled loo. On the first night of our company bonding week away, our CEO and others jumped into the pool naked. (And for some unknown reason they paid for a professional videographer to record the week). Partying was very much par for the course when you finally got out of the office.

I'm not saying any of this is exemplary behaviour but lots of people enjoy a drink and letting their hair down at the office party. That's also ok.

Sounds like my work environment haha

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Poivresel · 02/09/2023 08:40

@grass321 Really?
I used to work in an NHS department.
The drunken shenanigans between staff who had spouses at home would make your hair curl.
The managers that weren't kissing other people turned a blind eye to those that were.

fuckssaaaaake · 02/09/2023 08:54

daisychain01 · 02/09/2023 06:48

you need to stop drinking for any future work functions if that's how you behave. This is work, not speed dating. I know this sounds judgemental, but for good reason - you're already in the most vulnerable work situation that a woman can be in at a time when job security is at an all time low (having a baby and Mat leave is the hotspot for employers to try to get rid of women). If you care about your job and your reputation, put this down to experience but also recognise you need to change your behaviour so your employer doesn't find an excuse to sack you, and believe me it isnt discriminatory to sack someone for behaving inappropriately.

and to add - the new colleague is also equally vulnerable with no substantial employment rights, that the employer could capitalise on if they chose to, to get rid of them.

Haha drama llama

Rachaelrachael · 02/09/2023 09:06

I wouldn't give it another thought, just pretend it never happened! Sounds like my workplace in my 20's - good memories 😉

grass321 · 02/09/2023 09:15

Yes, really... and I've only shared a sanitised version of events. They may have been the product of Britain's 'best' public schools but most nights ended in Spearmint Rhino (I was always invited but declined).

I think everyone spent so long in the office that they went slightly mad once released into the wild. They were good fun though.

The aforementioned professional video of our company week abroad had a long segment of my secretary coming down water slides in her white bikini and standing up at the end. Sometimes I can't believe these things actually happened.