teaching don’t know who I am anymore

[lotsofmumlove]

Is anyone a teacher here ?
I don’t know if it’s from having children or shortly after my husband leaving us whilst my third child was 18 months at the time but I feel I’ve never fully recovered in my job I feel I was a much better teacher before he left and probably before kids . I’m so down , overwhelmed with moving house new schools for kids my mind is not in “the game “ and I just not on top form anymore .it doesn’t help that where I work is not always a nice place , too many changes every year in my role, I don’t know if I’m coming or going.

Trying to find a new job teaching elsewhere better school ( currently in a college)
And possibly going on supply (not ideal )to get into primary instead ..

I just feel like giving up , but breaks my heart as I have to keep going for my babies so I can afford a roof over our heads a future etc so much pressure being single mum

Has anyone else found this
I just hope this rain cloud disappears at some point and I am happy again and can do a better job .

I'm a teacher (secondary, HoD).

Firstly, I'm so sorry you feel this way. It sounds like you have a lot to cope with - husband leaving, kids, home etc. It's no wonder you don't feel on top form!

Not helped by you not working in a nice place - been there and it's rubbish! Definitely keep looking for another job. I personally wouldn't go for supply given the lack of security.

Do you have anyone at work you can talk to? HoD/colleagues in other departments? If not, what about something like lifeworks? Not sure if your college subscribes to anything similar but may be worth checking. They are confidential services.

In terms of the job, keep in mind that it is only a job at the end of the day. Do what you need to do, but you don't have to be all singing, all dancing. Avoid the temptation to do anything extra.

I wonder if finding a new school will help (I know you're looking). You may need a change - I left a place a few years back, feeling like I'd lost my passion for the job. It came back when I moved. I think I'd just sort of outgrown it.