Mums/parents that have worked on businesses with babies on their laps - tell us the truth?

[MadamPia]

Yes I have heard and read many success stories and vlogs from the women that have balanced a newborn with a business - I have also met some of these women but I also know women that have had to pause or shut down their businesses.

How do you realistically balance a newborn with your own business - share tips!

Backstory
I have been a mum since I was 20, my child is now a tween and I have found out I’m expecting my second (unplanned). I admit I have a great support system. I completed uni when she was 2 yrs old, climbed the career ladder and started a business 3 years ago that is doing well. However this pregnancy has come at a pivotal time in my business where we are about to launch bigger projects, have more public speaking opportunities and as it’s year 3 it feels like we are entering the make or break year.

Although I was a student with my first, I only had to be in 2 times a week, worked as a waitress for 3 years and I was done with work by 12pm and I really felt like I put parts of my life on pause as many of my friends started careers etc.

Now at 32 I am DREADING 😟balancing a baby with a business. I do work remotely and my team meet once a week but I am so scared. My partner works full time and has also asked how I feel about balancing my business - which means a lot - with a newborn.

How do you do it??????

Is there a business mums with newborn club I can join?

Not in the same league but I worked part time when mine were young. Put them into nursery for the morning, they had a long sleep and I got a full day to work. Mine were very difficult to work with as they were never just happy sat in a bouncer.

Plenty of parents I know work in the evenings or early mornings to find extra hours.

I think the other factor is that you're utterly shattered a lot of the time due to the lack of sleep. So things take longer than you think.

I worked around my baby. I had a really peaceful baby and I was able to establish a really reliable nap schedule so anything important I did then. I admit I was tired but I was able to focus and switch on for short bursts to get work done. I know some people have babies that can't be put down, that would be very difficult. I still went to baby groups and walks every day but I would do a few hours a day of work.

For me, this was only possible for Zoom calls (video off). I was able to concentrate with a baby on my lap, and I felt that as the baby was very young (5 months ish) she was happy just being cuddled and listening to my voice, didn't mind I wasn't paying her direct attention.

Also did calls walking around the neighborhood with baby in sling.

Anything else involving typing or designing, anything other than talking, no.

Short answer is I think it's a stupid road to go down, the idea you can work and look after a baby at the same time. And dangerous if people start thinking it's possible or desirable. Unfair on those with babies who are less easy and couldn't possibly even think about switching their laptop on for months and months.

Sorry i should say as well it depends what work you do. I do marketing, I can easily design newsletters without the entirety of my concentration or do Canva designs on my phone. It's not life or death.

I worked with my newborns at home - but I never (extremely rarely) had to do phone calls and everything was reply within 24ish hours.

I'd work, do baby, work, baby. DH would come home and I'd do a couple hours focused work.

Nothing was done with housework. DH was awesome. It was hard. I couldn't have done phone calls or meetings, everything was too unpredictable. But I've still got my business.

You have loads of options.

The obvious one would be your partner taking a long paternity leave and then use nursery or childminder

If he refuses due to big menz job reasons then you use nursery from 3 months

I nearly died from sudden and severe PND about 6 months PP with both kids. After the second bout left me unable to work for months, I was heading towards bankruptcy, so to avoid that, I put my children into childcare and got a salaried job after 8 successful years of self employment and 1 very unsuccessful year where my income dropped from £35k to £4k a year, as I can't see a way to come back from where I ended up with my business.

Sorry I know that's not what you want to hear but the reality is self-employment with a small baby isn't all sunshine and unicorns, self-employed women are just as prone to post natal mental illness and complications from birth/CS as employed women are and when you're self-employed there is no safety net to help you should the worst happen.

Sorry to hear that @pinguins. I agree with you, I also think that it’s important to give our bodies the time needed to heal. It is a very difficult decision to make when the business has a life of its own and I’m fortunate enough to have cofounders who could keep it going without me for a while.

Thank for sharing as I feel that the realities of running a business with a baby are rarely discussed and often glamourised. So thanks for being real.

I agree. My work involves research and marketing actually! Lots of it is deskwork paired with site visits. How long after baby being born did you get back to working?

I agree. My work involves research and marketing actually! Lots of it is deskwork paired with site visits. How long after baby being born did you get back to working?

@whatsagoodusername did you have a team? So you have tips on what allowed you to keep the business going?

Whenever I see those happy-clappy stock photography shots of a woman at a laptop with a baby on her lap, I always think they don't represent "happy woman with own business and good work/life balance", they represent "desperate exhausted woman who hasn't slept more than 5 hours in months shouting 'stooooop iiiiiiiiit' while her baby pounds on the keyboard and deletes the last 300 words and the client emails again asking what the hold-up is".

If this was directed at me, I designed thank you cards when my son was a week old. When he was 3 weeks old I did an email newsletter. I have a family business so I was doing bits and bobs for that. I took a proper paid contract when he was 4 months old. I worked about 2 hours a day, sometimes 3 over 7 days. I didn't feel stressed. It all felt manageable to me. If I had a meeting my husband took him but that wasn't daily. If I'd had an especially bad night I didn't work that day, I have a highly flexible job. It worked well for me.

😁couldn’t agree more! Babies are needy. Clients are needy.

I found it worked very well for the first few weeks when baby sleeps loads. By 4/5 months I had to start using nursery. I felt awful leaving him so young but he’s fine and knew no different.

Not my own business but after my 3rd child was born I went back to work for a few weeks on a major bid for my company - maybe 2 weeks after having her. the older 2 were at daycare so it was just the newborn - and she wasn't colicky or anything. Tbh I regretted it. the baby was fine but I was exhausted and stressed. I felt I never had a moment just to sit. I was either minding the baby or working. I can remember nights when I felt I had to log on and do some work while the baby was sleeping crying from frustration sitting at the kitchen table

It was certainly good for my career but I wish I hadn't done it.

I do freelance publishing work. I had a few people I worked with, then a lot of clients to send work to/from. The thing you need is massive, massive flexibility and support. I had very few hard and fast deadlines and when I had them (only a few a year), DH would take a day off so I could focus, or I'd pay a babysitter. Day to day, a 24 hour response time was fine.

I couldn't have done meetings easily. Everything was over email. The few phone calls I had to do were often interrupted, even if DS was napping when I started. I did not work an equivalent of full time hours - maybe 50-75%? It was enough to keep going so I didn't lose my big jobs, but there was definitely nothing extra!

@MadamPia

Seriously where's your partner in all this? He asked you how you feel and balancing? How's HE planning on balancing with a full time job? He must be really worried about how he'll do his HALF?

Oh wait, he's not going to do half is he?

It must depend on your baby and what you're doing.

When I had dd1, she slept 12 hours reliably at night from 6 weeks, and 3 hours during the day from 6 months. She didn't crawl until she was 9 months, and even then she liked to crawl to one thing, play with it, then move to the next. She was quite happy as long as she could see me and had a bit of food from time to time.

I did all sorts of things with her on my lap or just playing round my feet. I could sew outfits, do things on the computer, cook... all sorts of things that could turn into work at home.

Then I had the revenge in the form of dd2. She didn't sleep much night or day. 40 minutes at a time was her standard. She crawled at 5 months and had no sense of danger. For her the best place to be was exactly where I didn't want her to be. She couldn't have sat on my lap while I worked, and I definitely couldn't have taken my eyes off her for long enough to do anything worthwhile.
I remember the time I thought I could nip to the toilet because she was happily playing. I found her having climbed over the stairgate, up to the kitchen surface and was trying to climb up the high cupboards by using the shelves to reach the kitchen knives stored at the top. I hadn't been away for more than 3 minutes, she was only 8 months old and she'd done it almost silently.
I'd have had to have a cage for her if I'd been hoping to do any work.

I ran my own business for 15 years, 2 days after coming home after having my 2nd baby after a cesarean I had to get back to work.
I guess alot depends if you have staff and if you can delegate and trust them. Personally I think when you run your own business it's very difficult to totally switch off from it.
If you've got a solid support group it's definitely possible, my daughter went to nursery part time which I couldn't have done without.

There is no way I could have worked with her at home with me , for me it would be like half arsing two things rather than doing one at a time well.

Plus I will say it wasn't just my baby and my husband would have changed his hours and did take holidays around childcare, so it's not like you are alone.

Being my own boss was absolutely great for flexibility, school plays, sports days etc I was there. It wasn't easy but I would do it again.

I will say I did get frustrated by the things I couldn't do due the fact I had a baby, babies don't care if your annual accounts HAVE to be filed or VAT needs doing. Alot of late nights and coffee but nothing worth doing is easy x

Good luck and congratulations.