Utterly depressed on resigning from work

[Puppalicious]

I’ve just resigned from a job I love for a job with more money and I just feel utterly depressed. Sick to my stomach and I can’t eat. Turns out there would be an opportunity in work for progression, which is one of the main reasons I even responded to the headhunter. The money would still be lower but still. Has anyone felt like this and it turned out ok? I honestly feel like I can’t get out of bed.

25% pay rise and possibility of large bonuses is a lot: definitely worth a try!

Good sign you’re anxious about leaving. You’ve made your current role a huge success. Clearly you have the skills and resources to smash the next opportunity.

They actually did counter offer in the end, yesterday. Very small amount compared to new job. But I am really really terrified of leaving. I love my job. Has anyone taken a counter offer and it worked out? I think they will have lost all trust in me.

I would take the counter offer OP and stick were you are happy. I think the new job was in a different industry? if it was the same possibly less of a big decision/risk. Also if the worse was to happen you would have no redundancy rights for two years. You probably have that now and better maternity pay or holiday possibly. If I was in your shoes I would stay with the devil I knew. Always listen to your gut, are you feeling anxious about the change for a good reason? Sounds like you think something isn’t quite right. Good luck.

It’s a move from the public sector to the private sector. So absolute job security to no job security and I know they haven’t been slow to fire people in the past. My reputation will be destroyed both in the company I have the offer from and the company I’m leaving if I don’t take this offer - if I knew that it didn’t matter how much they offered me I didn’t want to go I shouldn’t have done the months of interviews. I’ve really fucked this up.

You've not fucked anything up, this happens all the time.

I turned down a role after signing the contract, I was so stressed I had to get my DH to write the email and read the response - which was fine by the way!

It feels MASSIVE to you but this is just day to day for someone working in recruitment. Not a big deal.

What really matters now is that you work out what you really want. Talk it through with someone completely impartial if you can. Personally I think you'd be a bit mad to stay for the chance of covering someone's sabbatical unless you've really locked in what happens next.

I've seen it too many times with people covering maternity, the person comes back, the cover gets "demoted" and eventually leaves cause they know the they're capable of a bigger job.

If I were to stay its without hope of the sabbatical. It’s open competition and would entail me giving up one of my key specialisms.

I did talk it over with someone weeks ago, I was completely torn but the solution I came up with was to price all the good things about my current job, if the new job hit a certain % over then to take it - which they’ve smashed.
When I initially turned it down last week I felt gutted as deep down I’m excited about learning a new industry. I am good at learning in fairness. And I suspected if I don’t take this brilliant opportunity then I’m in my current job for life.
I think the conversation with my boss last week has unsettled me. I’m having a complete crisis of confidence but I think I just need to bite the bullet.

Remember why you applied for the new job in the first place. You'll meet new people. You will challenge and stretch yourself. You'll learn new skills. It will be an adventure of self discovery. And you'll get paid for more too. My dh did what you are doing left civil service after 25 years working for yhem. He'd worked himself up to a high grade and felt very comfortable in his role but he said he wanted the challenge of something new so applied in private sector and got the job. He's learned new things whilst getting paid more. Also your civil service pension is protected and rises with inflation. He's going to retire at 60 in 18 months because of the extra money he earned. Good luck I bet you'll love your new job. Keep in touch with old colleagues.

You have made the right choice. Life is only going to get more expensive. If your current org truly valued you then they would have promoted you.

Throw yourself fully into your new job and don't look back. Be confident and believe in yourself!

Take the new job. Everyone is scared by taking a new job.

Any manger pissed off that you have taken your career development into your own hands was never going to develop you. They just want to do your current job very well and become to valuable to allow to progress

Public to Private? Even more reason to stay where you are, and explains a lot re promotion and pay etc. entirely your choice OP, but going from public to private is a big change.

I left a job I enjoyed to work elsewhere for a 50% pay rise. I found it really difficult to get into the new job. It was a very different organisation and a difficult job which I don't enjoy and I was starting to regret it.

However I'm starting a secondment to another part of the organisation which I think will be a better role for me (still with the high salary) so sometimes it's worth taking a leap to something new as you don't know where it will lead.

You said the sabbatical cover gives you the 'possibility of gaining the experience required to progress towards promotion'

This is so woolly. You are doing the right thing, taking the actual offer of a real promotion that you have now. It's understandable to be nervous but it would be a mistake in my opinion to turn down the offer at the new company for something that might never happen.