gone back to work and missing my baby

[bottle]

and not sure what to do feel paralysed with indecision, working four days and missing my baby so very much does it get better or is it just the pain dulling - i feel that somehow it is too much for him he is only just one year old and could cope with 2 days but four seems too much he looks so sad and hard at me sometimes

dread fronting it out at work cannot make any decisions about anything these days, so tired and weary, could manage on less money but feel such a headcase at the mo have just asked the nursery for extra days dont know if i am coming or gong ifsyim

bottle, it is hard, and it does get easier. But why don't you, if you can manage financially, just work 2 days a week until he's 2 and more used to you going away and not quite so 'little' -seeming?

I've been working 2 days a week since dd was 7 months old and on the days I work dp has her. So we've avoided the scenario of 'sending her away' somewhere until now. But this arrangement has been difficult in lots of ways so now after Christmas she's going to nursery for a few mornings a week and I'm dreading it even though she's now 26 months old so I fully do sympathise with you.

i feel for you botlle, it must be very difficult. my matrnity leave ends in january, and i am dreading leaving my 14 week old........i wish that the government helped out more so that I could afford not to work full time, but it has to be done....if you can manage on 2 days a week i would do it, afterall you dont want to miss out on anything and you may regret it later in life?

thanks bluemoon, before i became pregnant i asked to increase my days from 3 to 4 and by the time finally agreement reached i was very newly pregnant so feel very awkward about it all, and at that time did not realise how attached i would be to ds and thought that the four days would be fine,
hope your little one is ok at nursery

fairycakes big hugs re your little one and you

I've been back 2 days a week since sept and even though it's still hard and i still hate leaving her (she's with my mum btw) and i hate my job and i'm in a bad mood the nights before work- it feels easier now than it did at the beginning and i don't cry when i drop her off any more. big hugs for you

Bottle - sod feeling awkward about it - you don't get your chances twice so if you can manage on 2 days and you'd rather spend more time with dd then do it.

Def a good idea if you can and then increase your days as she gets older.

I agree with everyone who says if you can afford it, scale down your days to 2. You'll never get this time back again and what's the point of making yourself and baby miserable when you don't have to? Would your employer be OK about scaling down your hours?

thanks bottle, and hugs to you too, i hope it works out for you and you can manage to do 2 days - im sure it will definitely be worth it!!

thanks everyone will have to sort it the longer i leave it the older my little boy gets and i do feel i am loosing special time, have always had to be away from when he was 6 weeks old to sit exams and do courses in evenings etc as finishing degree while on mat leave and just cannot bear it anymore, just feel my heart has been thrown into the gutter empty and not feeling anything numb with it otherwise i would just scream - anyway in tomorrow and will try to sort it out
thanks for the kind messages