Deleted message muddle

[FrightLight]

I've got into a situation entirely of my own making and would welcome advice on how to not make it any worse.

I only started 10 months ago.
The organisation has overhauled processes and I have massively struggled with the changes. Technically my job remains the same, but how/which departments had changed, and the team I was in is scattered amongst others. I had a bit of a panic when I became trapped due to a lot of staff in one space. And generally I just feel tearful and uncomfortable, with each shift feeling worse.

My manager asked me to put it in writing to him, 1 other manager and the big boss, which I did. Big boss is on leave but the other 2 read it but didn't respond. I massively regretted writing it and got increasingly paranoid and anxious. After 2 days I deleted the message, but the chat it has created remains, so the big boss will know there had been some there.

I have been to the GP and now have a prescription to help with the panic/anxiety.

Outside of work I do have DC with SN, EHCP battles, other health issues, DH with health issues etc. Which isn't my work's issue, but trying to explain a bit at lack of coping.

To get to the point(!), what should I do about the deleted message? Wait and see if any of them raise it? Im not due in until late next week. I can't really afford to lose my job right now.

I think either way the big boss will know because the other managers will chat with him. The other managers may not have responded because they are waiting for advice from the boss. There may also be something in the contract which says managers have so many hours before they need to respond- in my work if we put anything in writing the manager and boss have up to 5 working days before they need to respond, this gives them time to discuss the issue before speaking with me.

Did you send the message via a text or an email? Try not to worry too much about this, you’ve already partly spoken to your manager and that’s why he’s asked for it in writing, he’s also most likely spoken with the other manager and boss so they may be aware thag this is coming.

If the boss asks why the message is deleted then just say in the heat of the moment you panicked and now regret deleting it.

I think either way they will be wanting to speak with you in person, if you feel okay to then mention about your anxiety.

OP THISBIS WHAT ANXIETY DOES TO YOU IT MKAES TOU FEEL THAT WHATEVER YOU DO IS WRONG.

You are not wrong
You haven't done anything wrong
You as an employee are supposed to bring any issues/worries/concerns to managers and the above managers.
This is so they can improve working situations for you and or mothers
Well done to you. You have likely pointed out what others in your team are thinking and feeling

So what you have said your opinion as you are entitled to. Who cares if they are her or not they are not you

I would look at this as a win as anxiety can stop you speaking out

Well done

*you and others

Thank you for the kind responses

HiddenVoice We use GoogleChat at work so it's WhatsApp/FB Messenger set up, so the chat I created remains.

It was such a lengthy message and I had headers and bullet points. It took me ages and I was quite sleep deprived on top (I work nights and the summer holidays are proving tricky).

quietnightmare there's definitely a lot of people struggling with the changes but dealing with it much better than me. There's a lot of friction between teams (each thinking the others get better treatment etc) and quite a lot of confusion over what the processes now are.

That said, its proving to be more efficient so i can't see management agreeing to any changes. Even if they do its rolled out from head office, so im not sure even if the Big Boss felt some of the new processes were for example, compromising staff safety, that hed havr any ability to change them without Head office agreeing

I should have added that I phoned in sick for my last shift on my rotation. I just couldn't stop crying. It is my first sickness. I'll have to have a return to work for it, so I'll mention the prescription etc. I'd already had an occupational health referral at my request for my other conditions

So you are having trouble at work and your manager asked you to put it in writing to three people? Absolutely bizarre approach from management.

I am not sure what you mean by a chat was created when you sent an email. Or how you could delete somebody else’s email? Do you mean you recalled it? Anyway, was just trying to figure out what you actually did in order to think of best way to explain it, but did it be accident or had a change of heart seem reasonable and I don’t think you need to worry about it in particular.

Regarding the original issues, I would recommend speaking to your manager about it, rather than emailing and you certainly don’t need to involve others.

@Aprilx sorry, it's not email, it's GoogleChat where you can delete a message you have sent, though it leaves a thing saying message deleted by author. This is the chosen communication system in my company.

I had spoken to my manager and this was his response. The other manager runs the other shift rotation, and I work a couple of those shifts, so I guess that's why. He wanted the Big Boss to have my feedback, directly. Big Boss is quite a people person, more so than my manager , but I'm not sure how receptive he'd be as the company is celebrating the success of the new processes etc. I feel I've put my neck on the block (I'm expecting them to start cutting staff)

What would be the reason for you losing your job? You’ve done nothing wrong. If something is wrong whether it’s work related stress or from your personal life it’s still best to talk to your managers to get support. I hope when the big boss gets back you get the support you need

Take a breath - it will be okay.

it sounds like you have quite an inexperienced manager who doesn’t know how to handle this.

what i would have done was sit down with you over a coffee, listen to your concerns and work out a plan. Your manager has panicked and escalated this. I manage a lot of managers and have had to step in when inexperienced managers get things wrong and make people feel like crap.

before I give you advice for your next step, what is your relationship like with your direct line manager? Could you sit down and set this all out and trust them to resolve it for you? What about the fold further up the chain?

they won’t want to undermine your manager, but they have a duty of care to you and should step in.

Whatyoutalkingabouteh I feel insecure as I can foresee cutbacks, again rolled out from HQ. As a relative newbie who's made a big fuss I don't think my feedback, no matter how true, is going to do me any favours.

Bellyblueboy My manager is inexperienced. I don't think my manager is particularly respected by other management, either. He's been quite critical towards me in the past (and others have complained about him, he seems to target people) but to be fair, he's been kind and supportive during this change around. My speaking to him was a wobbly "I can't stay another minute" kind of thing (it was 8 hours in to the 10 hour shift). I suspect he feels any feedback he gives up the chain is ignored. There's a lot of tit for tat between the various shift managers and it's just all very playground. The next manager up has quite an obvious bee in his bonnet about nightshift, so the big boss would be a better bet for me.

Thanks for the understanding replies, I feel I've made a bad situation worse and I can't stop ruminating

this is not a disaster so stay calm.

in your shoes I would do the best I can until the big boss is back from leave.

then contact him (does he have a PA) and ask if you grab a chat for 15 minutes - you want to explain the string of messages he has received.

then calmly lay out your concerns. Tell him why you deleted the message - it seemed to get escalated very quickly by your manager and you didn’t want to come across as a trouble maker - but your concerns remain.

the listen: most people will want to help. He may be constrained in how much he can change to suit you but in all likelihood he will want to help.

good luck. And please don’t worry

I thought I'd update. Nothing said by big boss, I fid only see him in a passing hi,/bye way.
Immediate manager said him and the other manager read it, it was all fine and we could have a meeting to discuss, but other manager is going to be off for a while.
Since then there's been huge changes announced from head office, and we'll all have to have "difficult conversations" with management, so I'm not sure I will survive the axe swinging. Buy I don't think my message would influence that decision.

So I'm over the message fiasco, but come to realise my mental health is a lot poorer than I had realised, and I need to address that as I'm in no shape to go for new job interviews etc atm.

Thanks again for the replies and kindness