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Original poster

Didn't get invited to work retreat whilst on maternity

44 replies

pauleena · 17/08/2023 10:57

At work there is a Women in Finance group that has monthly socials and puts on events for women interested in breaking into finance. I have been to one or two of these events online. My colleague has been to almost every event in person and has spoken at one of them.

I have been off on maternity leave, and my colleague has been off on maternity for pretty much exactly the same period as me. I just found out that the company is hosting a Women in Finance conference in San Francisco at a 5* hotel for a few days. Places are limited. I knew this was in the works. It seems that my colleague has been invited and is going on the all expenses paid trip & I have not been invited. Is it fair?

OP posts:

Sunshineclouds11 · 17/08/2023 19:08

YABU

this is fair

Notonthestairs · 17/08/2023 19:12

Is this a reverse? Seems like you've answered the question yourself.

TomatoSandwiches · 17/08/2023 19:15

In what way do you think it is unfair?

YoBeaches · 17/08/2023 19:15

Given you weren't asked to go in person in the other times, your maternity leave period has nothing to do with it I'm afraid.

PatriciaHolm · 17/08/2023 19:18

I am assuming this is a reverse and your colleague is complaining that you have been invited and not her...

I would refer her to whoever made the invite.

Danikm151 · 17/08/2023 19:19

When on maternity leave you are supposed to be invited to work related events. WIF is separate from your work duties so this is an add on not contingent on maternity rights.
If she’s been heavily involved even whilst in maternity leave that will be why she was selected.

PoshPineapple · 17/08/2023 19:34

“I have been to one or two of these events online. My colleague has been to almost every event in person and has spoken at one of them”

And you're seriously asking WHY?

Zeppel · 17/08/2023 19:49

I'm not sure if this is for real. You honestly can't see why someone who is heavily involved in the group, has been to every meeting and has actively contributed would be invited over someone who has joined an online meeting once or twice? Especially when spaces are limited?
Oh boy! 😒

LeroyJenkinssss · 17/08/2023 19:53

Come on. This has to be a reverse? I take it your actual colleague who wasn’t invited has kicked up a stink and has now put your place in jeopardy?

Offyoupoplove · 17/08/2023 19:55

Yes because they’ve seemed more invested by going to all the events, in person and contributing to it. That’s how networking works.

Lookingforsolutions · 17/08/2023 23:18

Notonthestairs · 17/08/2023 19:12

Is this a reverse? Seems like you've answered the question yourself.

Was thinking exactly the same

Caprisunny · 18/08/2023 05:30

I get this is yet another one where Op isn’t coming back.

I was thinking reverse to. But it appears the person who hasn’t been invited thinks they should have been purely because they are on Mat leave. Which makes no sense at all.

PinkFrogss · 18/08/2023 07:41

Is this some sort of reverse? You’ve covered the fact it’s not because you’re on mat leave, because your colleague also on mat leave has been invited. You’ve given the justification for why she has been invited over you - she regularly goes out of her way to attend and contribute to in person events, whereas you have only attended one or two online.

Original poster

pauleena · 18/08/2023 10:44

Not a reverse, thank you for the responses.

OP posts:

Notonthestairs · 18/08/2023 11:05

pauleena · 18/08/2023 10:44

Not a reverse, thank you for the responses.

Ok.

Well 2 things -

No reason why you shouldn't ask if there is another available place - you don't ask, you don't get! It will also show them how interested you are which is never a bad move.

Might be a good opportunity to think about how much involvement you want in the group and what you can offer. Make a plan and tell your management your plans and then put it in to action so that this next year you have a rock solid place.

If that's what you want - if you don't really fancy it that's ok too.

Crazycrazylady · 18/08/2023 17:00

Yes of course you should get the limited space over your colleague. ( I knows she's been to all the events and spoken etc ) but come on you dialled in once or twice when it was online so that's exactly the same..

You need to March into your boss and demand that you get to go instead of her.

Honestly !

Caprisunny · 18/08/2023 17:22

Jesus wept. So you actually think you should have received an invite based on the fact that you gave birth?

drpet49 · 18/08/2023 17:59

FawnFrenchieMum · 17/08/2023 11:04

I would guess that’s her reward for being heavily involved all of the time and not just when it’s 5* all expenses paid!

People in the office really annoy me when they sign up for stuff but then only actually show up when it’s the high profile or good stuff to do.

This! You also state places are limited.

Why do you think you are deserving to go over others????

converseandjeans · 18/08/2023 18:09

Agree with everyone else. Your colleague has attended all events in person. She has also spent time preparing notes to speak at the event. You have logged on to s couple remotely. I think this is where people miss the point about remote working & haven't accepted that networking is better in person. You need to up your game.

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