How to let someone down politely

[Solitaryasanoyster]

A family friend is desperate to work in the profession I’m in as he was failing at school and thinks this was an easy way to make very good money with minimal qualifications.
I let him shadow me for a day and he was lazy, too no initiative and instead, played games on his phone and had to be prompted to do anything.
a few months have passed and he is about to get his GCSE results which he will no doubt have failed, but he keeps messaging asking if he can start work with me and my boss.
it’s a firm no.
to complicate matters, I’m friends with his parents and we are close.
how do I let him down politely whilst also being relatively honest as to why? If I’m not it won’t help him in the future but I can’t be too honest as it’s just horrific!

No vacancies are available or not recruiting or someone else came forward for the role that has experience or simply that given the family friendship, you’ve been advised not to take him on.

If none of that then wait for exam results, see what they are and potentially say sorry, we are unable to take on anyone without qualifications. You could be specific with maths and English and something else like a science.

I would be honest and explain exactly why he will not be working. He was on his phone, showed little interest it initiative etc..how else will he learn in future? It's constructive feedback. It could be that he didn't bother with his GCSEs as he thought this job was in the bag. I think sugar coating it won't help him. If his mum doesn't like it then she's as delusional as her son.

*or initiative, not it (sorry typo)

Sorry we're not in position to take on new staff. We can't afford it/can't afford the time to train people.
Sorry we can only take on experienced staff so if you can secure work in the industry elsewhere then may be able to look again once you've had few years experience.

Why on earth does he think a days work experience = you giving him a job? School kids do work shadowing all the time but they don't expect that place to employ them!

I'd explain in two parts:
-there are no openings available
-if he does get a further opportunity in the field he needs to show lots of initiative, stay off phone, be very polite etc.

So all feedback turned into positive, helpful advice for the future.

I think it's important to be kind, but honest. He needs to hear the truth about his behaviour and how this is viewed in the workplace. Be constructive. Give him areas to improve. And be honest with his parents but again in a kind and generous fashion. Please don't make weak excuses that won't help him or them.

I'd say there are no openings BUT you also need to give him the feedback. It's really important that young people learn how to behave in an office. They have very little understanding often and I fear his cohort will be even worse than normal because of the lockdowns and the reduced social contact they have had. I have often had to tell graduates (so older than him) how to behave over the years.

Hi @Solitaryasanoyster
I would put the blame on my boss, i'm sure your boss won't mind. I'd say my boss said he wasn't too happy that you were on your phone all day. The other feedback about the initiative and being lazy bit, i'd use examples. Hope the above helps x

This.

The best possible thing you can do for him is be honest.

The OP has already said she's going to be honest.

Her question is how can she say it politely.

OP look upon it as a chance to work on your communication and diplomacy skills. Part of being an adult is that we have to tell people some uncomfortable home truths sometimes.

Good luck.

This really

You can soften it slightly for them both by pointing out he is young and obviously not ready for work as yet

Thanks all!

I have said there is no vacancy currently for someone with no experience and it was clear from the day he spent here that experience of a fast paced working environment is exactly what he needs to develop his personal skills. If he gains that experience/relevant qualification elsewhere then happy to discuss a possibility in the future, but for now, his work ethic and and experience is not a good fit!