Managers and stress leave

[jabberwokky]

I have been on stress leave for 2 months and just been signed off for another 2 months. It is personal stress, not particularly work-related.

I'm a manager and I feel bad because I know my team will be picking up extra and struggling to get a new project off the ground without me. But at the same time, I simply can't work right now.

My question is for those of you who are managers - how do you view people who are off with stress, and do you get fed up with people signed off with stress asking for more time?

I'm starting to worry about how my manager sees me and that she may think I'm less competent if/ when I do return, because I've been 'weak' in some way and needed time off.

She knows the basics of why I am off and it's a common reason for stress leave but I haven't talked extensively about how it's affecting me as I feel a bit uncomfortable.

As a manager, do you expect people off with stress to 'explain themselves' or is a doctor's note enough? My GP has signed me off but I don't know how much detail I need to give my manager.

What’s ‘stress leave’? People experience stress all the time - it’s a normal part of everyday life. So what’s different with you that has meant you’re unable to go to work?
I guess you need to think about what you can do to get yourself in a position of being able to return to work. If your GP has signed you off as unfit for work, what have they said you need to work on to become well enough again? It’s pointless being worried about how your coworkers / manager might think of you being off. You’re worrying about something you have no control over - other people’s thoughts. Look at the end point - this is how I feel now and this is how I would like to feel in order to be able to return to work. Then you’ll have an end goal to aim for.

One of the most important things I ever learnt is what other people think of me is non of my business!

You have been signed off by a gp who presumably knows your situation better than work. That's all you need. Managers above you will need a bit of info but no more than you're happy to tell. Your team don't need to have any info other than you're off. I pushed through with work during some really significant stress in personal life and actually I was ineffective and not competent in my role at the time. I ended up needing to take time off following this being suggested by my manager and in the end needed longer than had I taken the time initially.

Your role doesn't make you less human or immune to life. Yes it's hard to fill and cover absence but I'd rather my staff were able to come in and do the job rather than just be a physical presence. Maybe talk to your manager and explain the situation.

I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time, OP.
In my place of work (public sector), a GP note (for whatever the illness type) is sufficient and you wouldn't be expected to disclose further information unless you did so voluntarily.
I have known many different colleagues over the years who have needed to be signed off due to mental ill health. I have never known a single manager or staff member to comment in any way other than in a sympathetic or helpful way.
Mental ill health is increasingly viewed in the same way as physical ill health (as it should be).
Please don't worry about what others may think of your absence. Your GP (and you) are the experts here and if you're not well enough to work, it's not for anyone else to comment.
Take care, OP. I hope things improve soon for you.

I’d be having semi-regular conversations with you to check whether you needed anything from me, and to try and understand what you’re doing to try and address the issues (gently). I wouldn’t be judging you for being off.

(I’m a HR Director. Long term sickness for stress is really common, particularly amongst middle aged women who are being pulled in every direction.)

I don't think anything of it really. Obviously, it's difficult to have people off sick because it puts pressure on those who have to cover, but it makes no real difference to me if the illness is mental or physical. If you're sick, you're sick. It isn't for me to judge the reason.

Being brutally honest though, being off sick for extended periods does give your manager an opportunity to see how things work without you. I have one of my managers off on extended sick leave at the moment, we've fairly easily covered his work between us, and I have been struck by how much less stressed his colleagues are when he isn't here. Food for thought...

I agree with PP, you're worrying about something you have no control over. What other staff think of your situation has no bearing really as GP has declared you're not fit enough to be at work and that's the bottom line.

I would just inform your manager you have attended the GP and the outcome of the appointment ie. signed off for 2 months with whatever it says on Fit note. Then put it out if your mind and focus on the steps you're taking to get well again

Depends if you're being paid or if I can use salary to buy cover, as I'd be looking at the effect on the team.

Hope you feel better soon OP

It’s so common that I don’t think much of it anymore but no, you don’t have to explain yourself. Come back when you’re ready.

I am NHS so we have a sickness policy. Staff are signed off sick and we have to code the absence so need to know bare bones at least. Once off for more than 28 days, our sickness policy kicks in and we have to have an informal 1-1 meeting to discuss how you are, what steps you are taking to return to health and if there is anything we can do to support you. This will happen again 3 months later if still not back at work( stage 1) and continue to Stage 3 which may then end in dismissal if no return date proposed by then and redeployment is not an option.
The best thing you can do is make sure you are getting all the help and support you can to feel stronger and if you get to a point where you might manage some work, propose a phased return so you are making steps to returning to your job

I’m a senior manager and I regard time off for mental health issues in exactly the same way as time off for physical health issues. There is no stigma about this from me.

If a team member had been off for 4 months, for either mental or physical health reasons, I’d want them to see OH before they returned and I would implement any recommendations which OH made - eg a phased return to work or additional support for a period.

Longer term, and provided the employee was up for this, I’d try and ensure there was an open dialogue about mental health and that they felt they had a safe space to let me know if there was any work related issues which were causing stress to build but I wouldn’t not assign them to projects unless they told me they didn’t feel well enough to take them on. I’m always open with my team that I had a serious depressive incident many years ago and how it impacted me at the time, in the hope that this will reassure them that I will not judge them should they find themselves in similar circumstances.

I hope you do start to feel better soon. It’s very hard to see the glimmer of recovery on the horizon when you are in the thick of things but one day you will wake up and realise that you’ve had several good days in a row, and that will be your sign that you are well on your way to full recovery.