Another International Job Move!!! I Can't Take Any More!!

[albert]

Found out last night from DH that it looks like we're on the move again. Having been in Venice for the past two years (and Denmark before that) it seems we are about to move to Geneva, Switzerland. And I really don't want to go!!! I have a very flexible and convenient job here, DS is soooo happy at school here and has lots of little friends but DH's employers want him to go to Geneva at the drop of a hat. Last time he had 3 days notice that we had to move to Italy, it's not fare! How can someone do this to us. Not only will we have to uproot everything agin but we'll have to learn yet another language, poor DS isn't 5 yet and he's already had to learn English, Portugues and Italian (and a bit of Danish), how will he cope with another language?
I'm sitting here on the verge of tears just thinking about it, sorry to rant but I'm soo angry because I thought that we'd finally settled somewhere.
Are there any MNers in Geneva? Any advice?

That sounds incredibly frustrating for you so rant away ! We are not in Geneva but Zurich.

You could join Expat-Mums-In -Switzerland web group here as a starting point for info and support , resources for the Geneva area are here , Expat info site is here and there is also a New to Geneva web group which I haven't located yet.

hth

Wow, thanks Lizs, I'll check them out. Do you have school age kids, what are they like (the schools that is, not the kids!)

There is another one here but this one isn't the site I was thinking of, still looking !

We have ds who is 6 and dd who is 3. We moved when ds was 3, 3 months before dd arrived. ds attends an English Speaking International school and there are apparently some excellent ones in the Geneva/Lausanne area, both English speaking and bilingual, but they don't come cheap like most parts of Swiss life. The Swiss education system is a bit quirky, and differs from area to area, but your ds would probably start in Kindergarten which is a great opportunity for learning the lingo without academic pressure. There is yet another internet support group for expats taking the Swiss Schooling option!

btw I think Papillon is in the French part of Switzerland if you spot her around.

Found it - New to Geneva is here!

Thanks Lizs, just spent the last 15 mins trying to log onto the expats site - still haven't got there but will keep trying!

that sounds hard albert is there any alternative/

Gosh albert, that sounds terrible. It is dreadful the way companies move their employees around so much, especially when there are small children involved. I would do everything I could to make my dh resist a series of moves but I know that is easier said than done.

I guess this move may have to take place, but if I were you, I would sit down with your dh and talk to him about your ds's future. He needs stability and there has to come a time when you say enough is enough and settle in one place so that your ds can have continuity at school and with his friends. Either that, or contemplate him going to boarding school . Perhaps this move could have that in mind, ie your dh tells his employer he wants several years in one place, or he starts to think about another job.

albert

Agree with lonelymum, talk to dh about plans for ds (and you!) - it sounds like you need to settle

I was a completely career dedicated girl with a high flying position. When single and childless, my personal life was always secondary to work, and I willingly made alot of sacrifices when the company demanded. Over the years, I saw many of my work friends (some with families, some single like me at the time) made redundant with corporate regime changes, when business volume dipped, or simply because "their face no longer fit". It happened to me too eventually, and I was shattered as I had given the company everything I had both personally and professionally.

Long way of saying, you and your dh must look after your home life as even the most valued employee is disposable. Unfortunately employment laws seem to make it easier and easier to to "dump" staff (often with a lame and transparent explanation of "we're reorganising, and your job is eliminated" )with sometimes derisory packages. It's much harder to accept that when your home life has been adversely affected by company demands. Obviously, this may never happen to you, but it's crushing when it does happen.

Perhaps your dh can continue being a valued member of staff without being willing to make radical moves so suddenly and frequently? Sorry to ramble, but it's so important not to sacrifice everything to a company, as they can be so heartless. Years of loyalty can mean little if it suits them, so make sure your home life is intact in the meantime.

On the positive side, you're certainly seeing some wonderful cities and having some fascinating experiences. Sounds as if you have been very flexible, and that your ds has thrived. Good luck and keep posting with updates.

Can you say what your dh does that means his employers move you wil such short notice & no say? Sounds strange. i s it all hush hush?

I agree that it may be best to reconsider options, I mean a well paid job is one thing but it must be especially stressful for you & ds.

I'm also in Switzerland - i think I'm now near Lizs - any chnace if a meet-up Lizs? I'm very disorganised, lost all addresses etc but found my feet, if not my brain, if you have any free time? Are you in Adliswil?

sorry about that, albert - i wish you luck in the move, when are you going? I really love Switzerland, although I've never even been to Geneva - used to live near Basle, so always been in GErman speaking part, but we're very happy here. If your ds was born before May 2000 he will go to Kindergarten, usually just 5 mrnings & 1 afternoon per week (that's what ds is on anyway, or at least will be from Feb - at moment he's just 4 mornings). Or will he go to an international school? there are loads. Look on the bright side - at least you'll be very handy for France & Italy. you can CAT me if you want. all the best xxx

Thanks to everyone for your uplifting messages, sorry not to get back yesterday but I tend to MN when I'm in the office and not at home (too busy with DS), I'm back in the office again now!
DH and I have spoken about the situation at length and have both been very honest about the situation and our 'wants' fortunately we are in total agreement and DS is our first concern. The problem is that if we stay here there is no long term future jobwise for DH and therefore we will be very unstable but if we go to Geneva although the long term is unclear there are many more possibilities. We both agree that we can make only one more move for DS sake and his education and had really hoped that we would settle here because neither of us actually want to go to Geneva but in terms of stability it seems we have no choice - but it's the thought of packing up again and finding a home, learning another language, making new friends. In the last 15 years together we have lived in 5 different countries on 3 different continents and I just feel I can't do it anymore. Incedently DH (and me for that matter) works for the United Nations, World Health Organisation in the case of DH. It strikes me as ironic that WHO try to save the health of the world but not that of their employees!
Sorry, must be more positive about this!

Albert, are you definitely going to do it then? When, any idea? Learning French shouldn't be that hard if you already know some European languages., sorry, don't mean to sound glib, jst trying to make you feel better. i've recently moved, so really don't envy you & know what a pain it is. At least you both agree not to keep moving round, so hopefully this will be the last time (for a while). I have moved 7 times in the last 9 years so understand how unsettling it is. We have just bought this house and son has just started Kindergarten, so hopefully that is us now permanently settled. All the best xxx