Please me with this experience/interview issue

[Whyemseeaye]

I have been in my current role for almost six years.

I work part time as an Executive Assistant for a consultancy company. I do all the stuff an EA role comprises, it's interesting and sometimes complex work.

I also have twenty years of experience in this type of role.

I'm currently looking for a new role as I've done all I can in current place and am ready to move on.

So far so normal...

However, the consultancy business I work for is my husbands. It's just the two of us.

We have no online presence because its unnecessary for us to advertise that way as he is well known within his rather niche sector. We do very well and the company has a high turnover.

When I explain my work set up to prospective employers they all seem a bit 🤨 almost like it's big a real job!

What I do is very much a full and complete role but I wonder if there's a way to explain myself better to take that I work for my husband edge off it?!

I've had several interviews in the last month and the same thing has happened every time!

Hmmm difficult one. Do you and your husband share the same surname and are you actually an employee? I agree it might not look like a "serious" job unfortunately from the outside.

Can you explain in neutral terms in interview what you do day to day, without mentioning your DH? Not hiding it as such but putting forward the fact it is a full time full on job?

I had this problem when I had worked for my Dad’s business for 6 years. I was doing all the things needed to run a business that he didn’t know how to do, not getting an easy ride. Before working there I worked for many years at another company that closed and I was no longer in contact with the owner. I basically had only one reference that was my Dad!
I got a new job years ago in another field and just didn’t mention it was my Dad as I was married so had a different surname.

I think you need to find a different way of presenting what you do. You mention a consultancy and it all sounds great but as soon as you say the consultancy is your husband and you, with being the fee earner and you being a part EA, I'm afraid it all sounds a lot less impressive.

I'm sorry if that sounds brutal but that's what I'd be working when I interviewed you (I work in a senior role for a global consultancy).

(Sorry for typos - I shouldn't try and type on my lap while snacking!)

Thanks for your replies

It's very similar to you @SullysBabyMama

It's a bit galling as I work so bloody hard and it is a proper job I just happen to be employed by DH company!

It's as if all my years of experience working for huge companies like E&Y etc. is moot

I am an actual employee of the business and a Director - which I take very seriously.

We share a surname and I also don't really want to omit the truth for fear it will come out later on.

An EA role is usually quite a close relationship between employer and employee and it would no doubt come to light and I'd feel a liar

I have just said upfront in some interviews that my current role is with my family business and left it there I've then gone on to outline the work I do day to day.

Some I've explained the role and then when they've mentioned no online presence I've explained the set up.

It's so frustrating!

How many years have you been working with your DH as opposed to with other firms? I'd be stressing your EY experience etc unless it was a long time ago and you did 2 years there and then 18 with your DH.

@HundredMilesAnHour six years with DH
and prior to that 14 years in a mixture of large companies like EY and Mastercard and some boutique firms working with HNWI.

I've mostly outlined what I've done with DH and then stressed the huge array of stuff I've done in well known places.

I can't shake off the feeling they're a bit miffed by the working for/with DH though

The most ridiculous thing of this is that prior to working for DH I worked for a boutique finance company with two people. Me and founder. I did naff all, got paid a lot but left after a year because I was bored to tears.

That it seems is absolutely fine as we're not related. My current setup is however not okay 😂

Yes sorry working for your husband completely reframes your experience. Ultimately would he go through disciplinary proceedings with you if you were performing badly? Presumably he would give you a glowing reference regardless of whether true, as he has a vested interest in you securing the job? It’s not a job you got from fair/open competition and your position wasn’t necessarily subject to employment laws.

I would completely change my approach if I were you. You should phrase it that it’s your business, you are a director and part of being the overall manager was PA duties.

Sorry I meant EA duties.

Thank you @londonba that is a good idea. I will try to think of a way of framing it similar to what you have suggested.

As DH is my first employer I haven't got him as a reference. I have several previous employers and colleagues as I can see it would be ridiculous to put him down

I think unfortunately there's always going to be some doubt/concern over your experience with your DH because ultimately he's your DH and it's just the two of you. Unfortunately there's a stereotype of the man running his own small business and his wife doing 'his' admin part time (or not actually doing anything at all but being named a director and/or employee for tax advantages). This stereotype is what's hurting you and the lack of online presence makes it even harder as there's nothing for potential employers to see to validate that your situation is very different. Which will leave a question mark over you, and if they have other candidates without that question mark they'll be progressed instead.

Keep doing what you're doing and stressing the big names you've worked for. If you can, maybe use that as part of your reason for why you want to get back in the 'non family' game. Do you have any network left from those days? It may be that an existing employee referring you might just be enough to get you past the doubt.

They might also find the lack of up to date online experience off-putting? Maybe you need to big up your previous experience of that if any. I would focus a lot on previous jobs in interview after outlining neutrally your current role.

My general line is that I've been working for a small consultancy company doing x,y and z. And when questioned about online presence I've said we're quite niche and gain business by word of mouth - which is true.

I've stated my desire to be part of a bigger team again and no longer wanting to work solely from home as my reason for leaving.

I've then ploughed in to my previous experiences and knowledge of their company etc.

I'm honestly thinking I abound just say be had a six year career break at this point!!

I was going to say is it that they're balking that you're a director, but actually I think pp nailed it - present it as your business, admin type duties rather than working for your DH!

I'd be careful with the career break story (sorry!) if you're looking at going back into FS / big consultancy etc as the background checks these days are pretty detailed grim and the last thing you want is getting an offer and then it being withdrawn as they find out you weren't upfront about what you've been doing for the last 6 years. Sorry!

I worked overseas for a few years and then I resigned and took 6 months off while overseas before I moved back to the UK. I was offered a role with a big name consultancy that I'd worked for in the past (they actually approached me on my first day back in the UK) and for my 6 months off, they wanted evidence of flight tickets and hotels and all sorts of stuff which obviously you don't keep. Stamps in my passport wasn't enough. In the end I had to get HMRC to write a letter to prove that I hadn't been paying any tax in the UK during that time so therefore I hadn't been working some secret job and been fired and I hadn't been in prison. I was honestly pulling my hair out. I think they only dropped in the end because I had two different country heads that I'd worked with in the company previously both vouch for me. 😡

How annoying @HundredMilesAnHour
I've seen this type of wild bureaucracy in action and it's ridiculous!

I think I'm going to update my CV to show I'm a Director rather than an EA. Or should I have both on there?!

I've hung back from putting the Director title on as I thought it might make me look like I was taking a step down when applying for EA positions?

And would I still have to mention the husband connection?!

I think you'll need to mention DH regardless as they'll check you out on Companies House. It's a fairly standard background check. (And if you plan to stay on as a Director, you'll also have to get their approval for an External Directorship in most big companies these days - I'm a 'external' Director at a Ltd Co as well as in my current consultancy employment and I have to be re-approved every sodding year).

Personally I think they'll be baffled why a Director is applying for a EA role and it might mean they don't interview you. But I guess it depends what roles you apply for.

Sorry, I feel like all my posts are as the naysayer of doom. 😬 You really need a personal connection or referral to help open the door. Are you on Linked In?

@HundredMilesAnHour thanks for all your advice, it's very useful 😊

I am on LinkedIn but haven't had much cause to use it until recently and unfortunately I can't think of anyone I might reach out to for work

I don’t think it’s weird that a director is applying for a role that might be a “step down”. We just went through the pandemic which decimated lots of self employed workers, many who had to close their businesses. It’s not strange for them to seek employment instead in any role they can get. Even less strange if it’s the industry they worked in prior to self employment. I would just recommend that you come across like you’re passionate about staying in the role/company as they may worry you will leave for a better option. Properly swat up on the company and their ethics/KPIs, emphasise your previous experience.

Thanks @londonba another good view.

I've got quite a few interviews coming up so at least I have the opportunity to hone my technique...downplaying DH at all costs!

When you leave, will your husband be looking for a new EA?
If so, can he line someone up and you see if you can organise a job-swap? Obviously this only works if the newEA is currently working for a small business rather than a big corporate which would probably have rules about adverts and appointments.

I think the stepdown is tricky, regardless of pandemic as the job market has really picked up now. We've had a number of quite senior people apply for roles with us which are clearly (at least on paper) a step down for them. Whilst we understand why, there is always uncertainty re long term feasibility and whether they would last / perform well in a more 'junior' role or if they'll become frustrated with the work (or a pain in the neck to manage). Most get rejected at c.v. screening stage and I've not seen any succeed at first interview.

I'd suggest sticking with EA on the c.v. or maybe bigging it up to Office Manager or something along those lines, and then mention the Director position in an interview if/when it seems like it will add value rather than detract (again, this very much depends on the roles being applied for).