Struggling with this

[lovescourgettes2]

I would really appreciate some sensible advice on an issue that is really bothering me . I am a newly appointed senior manager within an ombudsman setting . I am in a challenging role and recruited a temporary technical specialist to lead one of the larger teams . I don’t have a technical qualification in this area nor am I expected to have . They behaved strangely towards me right from the beginning and tried to insist on dealing with my male manager who is very senior in the organisation and was a bit bemused. They still copy him into everything regardless of whether relevant and send him text messages to his mobile in the late evening some of which are really critical of me pointing out I am less experienced than him and that they are more aligned to my position. My manager has been firm doesn’t respond to the cced messages if irrelevant and asked them to have a formal conversation if they wished to discuss any issues but they didn’t want to do that . I am finding the situation quite mentally draining now the technical help they are delivering is good but they are really unpleasant to me and it feels very difficult. I discovered this week that have been openly critical of me to the teams namely that I am completely useless and need to go. I have tried to tackle it head on with a view to how we could work better together but they smirked throughout our meeting. I already have imposter syndrome and this is not helping.

If you are his line manager you need to pull the no bullshit card. Unfortunately the gentler ‘tackle it together approach will not work for some men. Call a meeting. Be firm to the point of blunt. Set out your expectations clearly (do not cc this person, do not bad mouth mrs to team). Ideally pull lines directly from policies regarding code of conduct. If your company has working values or similar highlight your concern they are not working to these and the impact this will have on their probation. Ensure the meeting is minuted and that he signs the minutes to agree they reflect the meeting. Schedule a further meeting at a fixed point to review.

sadly some men will always struggle to be managed by women. It does not say anything about you / your skills but them and theie values

Thanks yes we attempted a conversation like that and whilst I was absolutely clear about my expectations and what I wasn’t prepared to accept he grinned insouciantly, then started on the ‘calm down dear’ tack before finally becoming extremely ‘offended’ that I had dared to call him out and given his behaviour a name . Guess I need to revisit that and follow up with an email.

You wrote that he's temporary? How temporary? Can you get rid of him? I'm assuming not but had to ask the question.

Do you have HR support? I think you need to go down the behaviours route (depending what your policies are) and as you're already starting to do, put everything in writing. I'd be gathering evidence to give him an informal warning, then a formal one etc and most definitely pointing him towards the exit.

Be super clear. If he tries to belittle you. For example calm down , a clear ‘ I am calm I’m being as clear as possible to help you unders Tans what my expectations are.’ If he gets offended again name it ‘I am not offending you. As your line manager it’s my responsibility to be clear about the concerns I have regarding your behaviours’

Clear hard line is the only way. He senses your insecurities and is playing on it. 100% get hr involved for advice but you need to lead the action or he will continue to disrespect you

You are kidding? What are your organisation's equality policies like. He needs to be reminded of them ...if there are any, with some supplementary follow up from HR (at least that's what would happen where I work).

This is the sort of thing that needs battered into submission from the getgo. And sadly doesn't seem to be

You need to call it very very clearly.

”last month we had a very serious meeting about how hard you are finding it to stay within the organisation’s accepted line management structure. Although your response in the meeting wasn’t what I had hoped for, my expectation was that you would take the points raised on board. Following that meeting you have done x, y, z which I feel goes against the spirit of that meeting.
Is there anything which you want to add at this point (minute his chat).
Do you understand your position in the line management structure? (Minute his response and clarify where he sits))
Do you understand what to do if you have a concern about my decision making or performance? (Minute his chat, clarify the answer and minute that)
My expectation from today forwards is that you do a, b, c. I will be following this meeting up in writing. In the event that you are still unable to work within the established line management structure following this meeting then this conversation will need to proceed to disciplinary/non renewal of contract/termination or contract.

I would also book him in for mandatory equality training and ask your boss to respond to every single unsuitable email with “please stop cc-img me into these emails- lovescorgettes is your senior management link”

Thanks all this is really helpful and reassuring . The contract is a six month fixed term so I need to terminate it rather than wait it out .

Get rid ASAP
He is a temp
Go to your manager and get the authority to get a different temp hire plus a guarantee he will not get the full time role.

He is trying to impress your boss and your boss will not be the only person he is playing office politic with.
Remember both your boss and HR signed off on your promotion so he is trying to tell whoever was involved that they did not do their job right when they picked you.

You need to document the conduct via your boss and HR.

He is a bully and undermining your role as well as you personally.
as in if you dont have the technical background to do the job other more senior managers are in the same boat as you.

You are new you dont need to be over spending time on him.

Your basic case to your boss is
He is there to do specific tasks
This is to make both your jobs easier by working within the team, chain of reporting etc.
He has decided to not just do his job.
He has decided to engage in an active campaign of resource mismanagement.
Financial decision is having him is costing extra money. it should just be his salary and a little of yours now its a higher proportion of yours and some of your bosses too.
If your boss wanted a day to day reporting line he would have arranged that.
Your boss promoted you to not have to deal with the BS from the role the new hire carries out. The new hire is creating work for him.
By undermining you with co-workers and his juniors, he increases the risk that some of your team not trusting the reporting lines and systems designed to produce "whatever" and that a preventable error occurs (they need to be able to skip him and whistleblow to you the boss and other senior managers).

For your boss one of the benefits of you is that he should have no direct responsibilty for the new hires output (errors will happen) As an old boss was fond of warning shit rolls down hill (or plausable deniability). The new hire is busy building a documented dam above your bosses head. (when it should be above yours 🤷). You boss will know this too.

You should be able to speak with your boss with regard to the challages you are facing with the new hire. And if necesssary look for some training on people management and HR conflict resolution